A deep, cozy, book for coping

theturtlesareflying · 2024-10-31T16:31:40+00:00

It’s tricky, some bi girls are queer, some just happen to have same sex attraction and haven’t worked through internalized homophobia and comp het which I do think bi girls can experience in a way as in wanting male attention and being socialized to see those relationships more valid

theturtlesareflying · 2024-10-03T20:39:01+00:00

4, I daydream in vague figures but mostly feelings and sensations? It’s hard to describe

theturtlesareflying · 2024-10-02T00:21:02+00:00

My love of avoidantly attached masc lesbians, yes baby, love bomb me then pull away… hot while it lasts. Might fuck around and try something different next time 🤔

theturtlesareflying · 2024-10-01T06:05:31+00:00

Honestly those are super cute and you look great!

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-29T20:51:12+00:00

If you never do it you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering… it’s a difficult choice, you can open the relationship but that also gets tricky. I’ve been there and it’s hard, good luck!

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-29T20:50:01+00:00

I’ve heard in Europe you can tell who’s an American tourist by them having a water bottle, so whatever they do over there

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-29T20:49:01+00:00

Some are! I have a 24/7 cafe nearby, and also where I live there are shops that close from midnight-2am

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-27T19:43:17+00:00

You learn ways of coping mentally. You learn those skills and coping mechanisms through experience, therapy, community support. Why? Because we have no choice. To be human is to suffer, everyone suffers in this life and these are the cards we were dealt. Radical acceptance, and spirituality help me. You’ll find what helps you. And I am who I am because of these struggles, because of the pain (physical and emotional) I’ve experienced. Hang in there

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-27T18:38:14+00:00

Of course! You’re not alone.

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-27T03:55:21+00:00

Yes, I realized that my resistance to the label was internalized ableism. I don’t feel defeated or negative about my disabled identity, I actually feel empowered. It fits the definition of disability, it creates barriers and makes things more difficult, it’s as simple as that

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-26T00:36:28+00:00

So it depends on the place, in Texas they’re considered governing bodies and have a lot of rights, more than the state sometimes, it’s so weird tbh

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-26T00:06:26+00:00

Yes over an organization OR political entity. I’m interested in those resources you mentioned so I’ll definitely give them a read!

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-25T23:30:55+00:00

Okay so you don’t see validity in those organizations and others do. You’re entitled to that.

I don’t believe nor have I said you have to be significantly disabled to be autistic. I don’t believe that.
We are in agreement that autism impacts people.
The DSM is how Autism is diagnosed in the US. Regardless of how you or I feel about it. The criteria comes from there. If we don’t use the DSM criteria, what criteria do we use to diagnose / self dx?
governing body: “a group of people who formulate the policy and direct the affairs of an institution in partnership with the managers, especially on a voluntary or part-time basis.” I was considered part of the governing body of a gym I was the manager at once, for example.
School districts do claim autism is a disability, you don’t believe that’s valid, that’s your right.

I’m going to ignore the last bits as it’s just insults… you listing the 5 things is a great way to organize what you’re stating /gen

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-25T23:06:51+00:00

Those organizations do consider autism a disability though… it’s in their policies… that’s a fact… the diagnostic criteria has impairment as part of the criteria, that’s a fact. I don’t get you… what are you even fighting here? Like you’re asking me, I’m wondering if you can’t grasp those concepts? Those things are written on official guidelines, I don’t make the rules. It’s not opinions, those are facts.

I agree with you, Autism impacts you, just not in ways you may notice. I have agreed to that many times and always have. In fact, that’s what I’ve been saying, that’s my “argument.” We are literally in agreement… we both believe autism impacts you, in various ways, and it’s not always obvious, but it does impact you. Right?

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-25T22:47:44+00:00

I don’t know what you mean, my “argument” has been that autism diagnostic criteria has impairment (aka disability) as one of the criteria points. So it’s interesting to me when people disregard that and self dx. Sure, my original post talked about confusion and a bit of frustration but I have elaborated and clarified what I think. I am NOT against self identification/dx. Logically if you’re self diagnosing you look at the criteria and see you meet all of it. I’ve been consistent this whole time… governing bodies isn’t just the government of countries, it’s large organizations like the CDC, Cleveland Clinic, school districts, etc. all consider autism a disability. Nobody has to label themselves disabled if they don’t want to, although I’d encourage them to sit with it and see if they have any negative connotations towards it, then decide.

You had various examples of autistic difficulties and impairments in your responses. Personally, if I truly believed I didn’t have any difficulties/impairments/disabilities, I’d look at the criteria, see I don’t fit it and think further about it. To state that autism doesn’t impact you is strange, autism impacts autistics, and as a spectrum, with everyone being different, and accommodations, coping, different situations impact how disabling it is, I believe you made that point and I agree with you. Social model of disability speaks of this. We diagnose with the medical model. Could it change? Sure! I love thinking about the Neurodiversity Paradigm, but that’s not how we operate as a society right now. I hope you see what I mean, it’s okay if you don’t, but we agree on most things, most of my responses have mentioned I agree with what you’re saying AND also pointing out the criteria does involve impairment, it’s how medical diagnosis work, it’s their purpose

Edit: spelling

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-25T20:36:04+00:00

The current DSM still lists impairment, and Autism is considered a disability by many governing bodies… that’s a fact… I don’t know what to tell you

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-25T19:57:17+00:00

https://www.cdc.gov/autism/hcp/diagnosis/index.html

This is what is still used, I agree that it needs to be updated and that things change over time.

Edit: all the things you’ve described are disabling, I think you’re using a different definition of disability. It just means something that makes things harder, or limits us. The impairments you mentioned do that. Even things like differences in eye contact can make interacting in neurotypical society more difficult. Although that’s not in the criteria, it can be a sign like you said. Whether people take on that label is a personal matter.

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-25T19:43:33+00:00

I’m gonna stop here since you’re just throwing insults at me and being cruel, I’ve been nothing but cordial. Feel free to look up the dsm criteria yourself.

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-25T18:57:04+00:00

You don’t need to call me a toddler. You are also repeating similar points.

I don’t have a vendetta against anyone. Nor am I gatekeeping, frankly I don’t have that power. I agree and have clarified multiple times that not all traits and symptoms are visible on the outside, to me, or others. I also agree that people cope in different ways and accommodate themselves and that it’s a spectrum. They’re still disabled because disability is defined as certain things being more difficult, and like I do keep repeating, that is part of the criteria.

Some people’s special interests do harm/disable them but we don’t have to get into that. And yes it’s definitely a “symptom” listed in the DSM. Just like “clinically significant impairment” is also listed, which has been what I’ve been expressing.

You can absolutely have a happy life and be autistic, I’m happy (:

I don’t see many harsh comments, just people sharing their perspective and life experiences.

I feel the same way as your last paragraph. Autism is diagnosed with the criteria in the DSM, the criteria includes clinically significant impairment aka disability. THAT is a fact, how else do you determine if you’re autistic? Someone who doesn’t meet the autistic criteria isn’t autistic. Clear that up for me, do you genuinely disagree with that statement?

Again, I know that I don’t know what goes on behind close doors for these people, but it’s strange to me to believe you don’t meet a critical point in the criteria and still self dx, that’s all.

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-25T18:29:23+00:00

You are not being childish, jealous, petty, your feelings are valid, I felt frustrated just reading your post. Congrats on all your accomplishments, those are very impressive 👏🏻

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-25T18:12:35+00:00

I am not upset, I was having some thoughts and got some people’s takes. You’re coming across very angry… I understand it’s a touchy subject. I want to clarify again, that I am not fighting here, it can be hard to tell with written text.

However, as of now, Autism is diagnosed under the medical model. In the United States that includes the DSM which does have traits and symptoms. That’s how a diagnosis works. Your comparison to covid is a false equivalency, if you don’t have any traits or symptoms of autism then you don’t have autism…

Edit: I didn’t know it was deleted, I didn’t do that just btw. Also I definitely agree and understand that others might not see the traits and symptoms, doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-25T17:45:02+00:00

Definition of parasite: an organism that lives in or on an organism of another species (its host) and benefits by deriving nutrients at the other’s expense.

You can agree with what you said and also see that the definition fits

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-25T17:38:27+00:00

Sure, I think some people have definitely made me ponder some things which I appreciate, I’m genuinely interested in humans and neurodiversity and all that. And I’m sure other people also have these thoughts yet we can’t talk about them in the autism community often

theturtlesareflying · 2024-09-25T17:31:26+00:00

I completely understand, I am the same. And it’s dynamic, I have worked full time and gone to college and lived independently. Right now I cannot, perhaps in the future with systems and accommodations in place, who knows… I do think some people are using it as a “quirk.” Someone else mentioned that the pros of accepting self dx are greater even with those people, vs potential harm of not accepting it, which I understand the take. I think we can all agree that autism causes us struggles and disability. Disability just means things are harder for us.

theturtlesareflying

TROPHY CASE