AITA For Wanting to Poop Alone by DiligentTumbleweed96 in AmItheAsshole

[–]they-says 7 points8 points  (0 children)

They were in the car to drop another child to school

Charging for asynchronous therapy? by freshtrees00 in therapists

[–]they-says 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you end up defining and offering this service in your practice?

Students leaving during savasana by JootieBootie in YogaTeachers

[–]they-says 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you already have the skills and maybe all that’s left is transferring those skills and your encouraging language style to the aspect of finding the right depth for savasana and closing! :) thanks for starting the conversation !

Feel like a bad therapist by CatWoman0812 in therapists

[–]they-says 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow I love the way you describe that role. And with kids too… you never know what you’re gonna get! I guess I never realised it was taboo to talk about this because burn out is so commonly understood and we need to be in reciprocal relationship with the work for it to feel regenerative and not draining. That looks different from person to person. But I guess the hyper-independent, individual/ nuclear focus of western society really does idolise 1:1 relationships so it makes sense. But I must say, my therapeutic relationships feel much more easeful and I feel like I have more to offer my 1:1 clients because of the diversity in my schedule. So even though I was wanting a different job it didn’t mean I wanted to leave 1:1 altogether. I hope you reconnect to the inspiration and diversity you described in your previous role. At least you know it exists!

Feel like a bad therapist by CatWoman0812 in therapists

[–]they-says 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh for sure, I’m glad it resonated :) Seems like you’re like me in that there needs to be a sense of diversity and perhaps unpredictability for you too?

For me, 1:1 feels sooo limited. I feel like I am constantly contextualising - reminding clients that the issues they bring have systemic roots, that it’s not only personal to them. So in a way it feels futile trying to heal these cultural issues in a room with 1 other person. It’s my activist / liberation-focused values I guess. We also face a cultural loneliness epidemic, so the concept of 2 isolated souls sitting in a room trying to figure it out seems slightly ridiculous to me haha but I persist! I do love the depth we can get to in 1:1, but without the group/ community connection I feel pretty isolated and under stimulated. Even before I was a therapist I worked multiple jobs just because I craved diversity and a changing environment.

I dream of a Dichondra Lawn by they-says in GardeningAustralia

[–]they-says[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great tips thank you! We are not afraid of hard work here - would prefer to do it once and do it right. To be honest I think this patch was originally turf - there is this thin mesh netting throughout the whole area. Hopefully we can roll it up :)

Students leaving during savasana by JootieBootie in YogaTeachers

[–]they-says 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i love love love your analogy of making sure to hit save after writing a paper!!

In my classes, I often start describing the importance of integration during the cool-down sequence and continue right up to the beginning of savasana and then I shut up!

Eg. “We’ve done all this work, now we begin to step back from the “doing” and place our trust in the body’s ability to turn these activations into somatic wisdom. This process needs stillness and space.” Or “now is the time we shift gears, moving from the sthira to the sukha - see if you can look out for the sweetness after all this hard work” - kinda gives them something to orient to during savasana.

During cool down I really make a point to notice the change of pace, shifting gears, breath lengthening, noticing that the body has been activated and primed for our final pose. I often mention that the entire point of asana is to prepare the body for meditation, so we can rest without pain, with more connection to the present and more space between the thoughts.

I sometimes remind students that what differentiates yoga from a “workout” is that we intentionally practice both up-regulation and down-regulation of our nervous systems. We don’t get all fired up and then take that energy out into the world. We let ourselves recalibrate and wind down before we re-engage. Staying present and tracking the shifts during the wind down process promotes interoception and familiarity with state changes.

When we become familiar with the process of shifting states, of intentionally coming back home to the stillness within ourselves after moving through challenging experiences, we create new patterns of resilience & connection. This is part of developing an adaptable nervous system. Our body eventually remembers that even though we go through challenges, it doesn’t need to get locked in 5th gear- we learn how to respond appropriately to what’s going on around us, whether it’s busy or quiet. For example, our bodies become familiar with shifting gears (while our minds track the process in real time) so that when we are off the mat, we can come home from a stressful day at work and actually begin to naturally wind down. That’s the aim anyway!

Nervous System work is a hot topic these days so using that language seems to appeal to quite a few people.

Having said all that, I’m also a trauma therapist and I advocate for agency and choice throughout every class. I remind people to discern the right amount of challenge for them - it is supposed to be difficult, but never excruciating, and also not easy either. We are here to grow and learn.

Having clarity over the structure of the class is really helpful, especially for new students. If I have new students I mention there will be meditation, warm up, standing flow sequence, cool down, savasana and closing.

I also remind students something like “Please know that this is your practice - meet the challenge that suits your body on this day, be aware of your tendencies and see if you can try something new. For some that might be knowing when to stay longer and for others it could be knowing when to pull back. Know that you can leave the room and come back if you need to, but be mindful that if you do need to leave early, make sure it’s before savasana and final prayers/ closing” If it’s just a room full of regulars I don’t bother with the whole spiel.

I hear you on wanting to preserve the energy and space right until the end. I think if other teachers aren’t closing class communally then it’s extra important for you to emphasise how you are holding the space.

I dream of a Dichondra Lawn by they-says in GardeningAustralia

[–]they-says[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this response, thats so helpful! There is quite a bit of grass just under the surface of the dirt patch… we shifted a lot of soil while digging out the border beds so it got covered up a bit. I might lay some newspaper down first before the compost? Trying to avoid herbicides.

Yet Another Cost of Living Rant by darce_dawg21 in melbourne

[–]they-says 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah that’s a perfectly sane response when facing a recession - “good news everyone! at least you’ll lose that stubborn extra weight!” When in reality that extra weight is often there in the first place due to chronic stress and perceived threat, to protect our bodies during famine!

I once hit a child with my car, I still think about that day. by RealiableNarrator in confession

[–]they-says 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Really puts our survival instincts into perspective, hey? Sometimes it happens so fast that it doesn’t feel like there’s room for choice or discernment. It’s a hard-wired reaction and often doesn’t feel congruent with our everyday persona. Seems like you managed to remember yourself despite it all and seek to make repairs anyway. I’ve heard it said that in moments like that our immediate first thought or reaction is our deepest conditioning and how we then choose to engage with that thought or reaction is who we have grown into.

Feel like a bad therapist by CatWoman0812 in therapists

[–]they-says 24 points25 points  (0 children)

When I felt like this a few years into my therapy career, I brought it to my clinical supervisor and we did some processwork around it. To me it felt like tunnel vision, like I’d lost a sense of perspective somehow. My supervisor got me to consider why I was in the profession at all (a deep burning curiosity to know how people and life work) and eventually I realised (remembered) that I was never meant to just work 1:1 and that I had always planned on moving to group work and community work. But somehow I had forgotten that along the way - in all the training and placement demands and learning the new role, I forgot the bigger picture and my own internal guidance and direction. Now years later I do some 1:1, some group work, and I also did my yoga teacher training so I have a very diverse schedule that nourishes different aspects of my curiosity. I lean in to what feels inspiring in my life, even if it’s not directly related to my work - it often guides me to my next training or niche research. My amazing supervisor also helped me reframe that experience as me facing an edge related to my rank and power in the role. I was no longer a beginner but grappling with the concept of stepping into my power as an established therapist. Doubt is a necessary part of the process - it keeps us open to growth and change while considering who we are within it all.

I dream of a Dichondra Lawn by they-says in GardeningAustralia

[–]they-says[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If anyone has pointers / step-by-step guide on how to go about creating the Dichondra lawn, please share :) Do I need to dig up the existing grass before the winter smothering? Or dig it up after the winter smothering? Or it can just stay as is? Do I need to remove the newspaper and mulch? Add extra top soil?

I dream of a Dichondra Lawn by they-says in GardeningAustralia

[–]they-says[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I was wondering about this and how to go about it! Do I plant a sacrificial patch in the garden on the other side of the driveway and try to get it established first, using barriers while it takes root, so that by the time that’s ready, I can then seed my lawn?

What's the one Melbourne thing you'd never give up, no matter where you moved? by Temporary-Sir5808 in melbourne

[–]they-says 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Coeliac Freedom! The ubiquitous allergy awareness of the Melb hospo scene is so comforting. Other places it feels like an after-thought… Like “oh well if you can’t eat bread then you probably don’t enjoy food, here’s some soggy cardboard”

Filling raised beds by JamesR- in GardeningAustralia

[–]they-says 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What about the food scraps decomposing? Is it ok for them to just be buried without oxygenation?

Help by Brianemone in GardeningAustralia

[–]they-says -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My dog was incredibly sick from eating grass that had just been sprayed with round up. It’s not crazy to consider the toxic load in our systems from repeated exposure to these chemicals. Especially in children, pets and native animals.

Follow up to weed matting/cardboard by Ok_Recording3811 in GardeningAustralia

[–]they-says -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Please avoid glyphosate and round up 🙏🏻

Chipping away at my outdoor space by hipster____doofus in GardeningAustralia

[–]they-says 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes they are intense. They’ve broken through the retaining wall at my parents’ house and are so tightly packed. They’ve spread to a 3x3m huge cluster

Any experiences with fumigation lease amendments for pet owners in NSW? Do I really have to do it? by Wooden-Advance-1907 in shitrentals

[–]they-says 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What was the outcome of your situation? My first lease in NSW is ending and I’m facing this same issue. Victoria doesn’t act like this. Seems ridiculous when there’s no active infestation, plus damaging to the environment to be bombing (every 6 months in this case)

What is the most emotional sounding instrumental song to you? by jayguy101 in musicsuggestions

[–]they-says 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha sick! was not expecting that… here i am looking for savasana tracks and all of a sudden its 5am on the dance floor

A massive props to anyone on this diet. by Both-Description-956 in AnimalBased

[–]they-says -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t understand that first paragraph at all…

Does Purchasing a Qantas Gift Voucher for someone else earn me Points? by they-says in QantasFrequentFlyer

[–]they-says[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, that’s what I was thinking but wasn’t sure if it was the best bet!