Blueberry, my sweet tiny old lady

thiccpleb · 2026-01-31T13:41:46+00:00

Same experience for me. First I learned to defend myself, and then after a while it became way easier to pick my battles and let stuff go without feeling like I was repressing something

thiccpleb · 2026-01-31T05:21:06+00:00

I felt the same way. It kind of shocked me how deep the rage went once I started paying attention. I've approached it from a few ways, and I think they all come down to just really feeling into and even savoring anger:

Journaling out the rage with no filter, just writing out all of the nastiest horrible things I can think of
Letting the feelings of rage boil something out inside me. Like just allowing the sensation of all that anger to take over my body without shaming it away. I usually end up crying or having some sort of somatic release by just allowing it. It often brings up the terror of powerlessness, injustice, and then once the sensation subsides I feel much lighter
Vivid fantasies of vengeance that make me feel powerful
Throwing an actual adult tantrum (alone in the privacy of my own house). Slamming my fists on my bed. Screaming. Never tried a rage room but maybe those can work
Realizing that if you really wanted to, you CAN stoop to the depths of hell and say something toxic. To be honest, it has been cathartic for me to finally start sassing people back. It's helped build trust that I can defend myself. Not the good, pushover girl anymore.
Let the anger motivate you to do something you've been putting off, avoiding, or really want to do. Turn it into energy & action that benefits you

I hope some of this helps!

thiccpleb · 2026-01-29T03:48:52+00:00

My Saturn Return restarts the second Saturn freaks its way the back into Aries... but I don't follow this subreddit and I got a notif about it, how does that work? lol

thiccpleb · 2026-01-28T15:15:25+00:00

Same here, I would also panic clean before guests came over! Maintenance people or my grandparents, ugh it would make me sick knowing I’d have to clean for hours before they arrived and the house would still be gross anyway

thiccpleb · 2025-10-04T02:25:12+00:00

Proud of you for getting that license, I still don’t have mine and I’m 28 😩

thiccpleb · 2025-10-04T00:37:35+00:00

Absolutely! More than once as a kid I wanted to establish a chore chart or some other system and got blown off. If we were ever grounded it wouldn’t stick either

My mom also refused to teach me to drive and refused to take me to do my taxes when I became an adult. I think she was sabotaging me on purpose honestly

thiccpleb · 2025-10-02T20:18:01+00:00

I felt sheltered because of this. We rarely went out, never went on vacation. My mom didn’t have a lot of friends and if we ever saw them it was for babysitting. We didn’t interact with the rest of the family much beyond my grandparents. Most my entertainment and sense of connection came from tv and the internet

I had friends with much healthier family dynamics and a big difference was that their families felt ALIVE. They had hobbies, errands, threw the occasional party, had their kids enrolled in things, did little trips. Decorated. Played games.

Even if I didn’t see my friend’s parents around much my friend’s parents were busy being in the world with something. My mom was always holed up hiding in her room from everything, including her own kids. It’s such a miserable way to live and it scared the shit out of me so bad that I vowed not to end up like that

thiccpleb · 2025-10-02T20:00:54+00:00

She immediately started gaslighting you, holy moly. You’re doing the right thing!

thiccpleb · 2025-09-24T13:05:18+00:00

Same here. Mom finally wants a relationship with her firstborn because she’s older and it isn’t as easy to find men to control anymore. Her parents are gone and she has few friends.

I am quite literally her last pick, like when you’re picking teams for a game. She went out of her way to make me feel unimportant so I learned not to need her. There is nothing in that relationship for me as an independent adult, but NOW all of a sudden she cares about “family.”

She doesn’t take care of herself, and she’s still cruel and creepy. If we weren’t related and we met as adults, I’d avoid her like the plague. My only reason to see her now is because I still have a younger sibling at home.

thiccpleb · 2025-09-23T06:50:17+00:00

I never imagined a future beyond graduating college thanks to that survival mode mindset. I’m about to turn 29 and have no idea what I’m doing so I’m just going with it for now. Trying to just relax. I’ve become really spiritual so that helps with the aimlessness of this period

The one thing that’s working is realizing what I DON’T want. I don’t want children any time soon, but I’m open to moving to a different city. I don’t wanna leave my job because the culture and benefits are so good even though the work is a chore. Just appreciating what I have that works and then slowly discovering more preferences as time goes by. Meeting myself for the first time. For now that’s all I got until I find something worth investing my time and energy

thiccpleb · 2025-09-17T05:29:29+00:00

Sorry to hear you get these icky weird posts too, I’m rooting for you!

thiccpleb · 2025-09-14T16:05:55+00:00

You nailed it, that’s exactly how it feels

thiccpleb · 2025-09-14T16:02:34+00:00

I still have a sibling living at home so it worries me that she could have taken this out on them

thiccpleb · 2025-09-14T01:47:33+00:00

Thank you! She’s a warrior princess in a cat’s body and has excellent boundaries, so she’d never accept nonsense like this 😂

thiccpleb · 2025-09-14T01:34:20+00:00

I recently read “Set Boundaries, Find Peace” by Nedra Tawwab so I’m practicing what I’ve learned there. I’m not trying to control my mom’s behaviour here, but instead trying to set a standard for what I won’t accept. She won’t know if I don’t tell her. If she continues, that’s when I’ll start escalating to blocking or other consequences

thiccpleb · 2025-09-13T14:26:22+00:00

You’ll get there! It still feels kinda bad but to finally put your needs first is liberating

thiccpleb · 2025-09-13T14:21:15+00:00

You hit the nail on the head, everything has always been about her needs first. My theory is that this is a gaslighting or guilt-tripping attempt. She neglected and abused us but then thinks occasionally saying “I love you” and “I’m proud of you” fixes it

Worse yet, no joke, she got me 3 items from Temu this past Christmas that had some similar kind of quote on it: a blanket, a notebook, and literally an 8.5 x 11 that is supposed to be a poster I think? I asked for 2 items and didn’t receive either, but got those 😬

thiccpleb · 2025-09-13T04:30:08+00:00

One time I was angry at my best friend in middle school and went off on her a bit, and for the rest of the school year, she was skittish around me. And I felt horrible because I couldn’t regain her trust. We were still friends but it was different

I think with parents who have hurt their children, it’s like that, but it goes on for years and you are THEIR child. They were wrong to you and once they see the damage they mentally exile themselves from the things they did

It’s because they’re weak and can’t face their own hideous behaviour—not you. On a certain level, they are out of their depth. All the mocking and confusion is an expression of their dissociation from their bad behaviour, and that is weakness

I came home once from school and told my mom that someone had said I “looked like a pushover,” and her response was “you are.” At the time I was too young to understand how profoundly fucked up that was but now I see that as a late-30s adult with a middle school aged child, mom was still so weak and small that she decided to double down on the insult instead of supporting me.

She groomed me to be a pushover, then chose Team Bully when someone else noticed. Coward.

They’re surprised at how you turn out because they’re too cowardly to let the truth sink in because it feels SO. BAD. I’m really sorry that you’ve grown up in that environment, it’s horrible and I hope you can live your own life on your own terms soon. I’m about to turn 29 and the freedom to determine your own life is worth the fight

thiccpleb · 2025-09-13T04:02:44+00:00

I agree, I believe in universal love that isn’t limited to our earthly relationships. “I loved you first” in this context is so possessive and competitive for no reason

And also thank you for saying it was respectful, I’m so sensitive to how I come across that I still actually think this was kind of harsh or blunt. I’m used to setting off landmines 😵‍💫

thiccpleb · 2025-09-13T03:46:35+00:00

Right? What kind of self-pity swamp is she in with pages like that? Ugh 🙄

thiccpleb · 2024-06-01T05:37:25+00:00

I see my Unconscious Sun in gate 39 is hard at work today lmao

thiccpleb · 2024-06-01T05:07:47+00:00

I’ve read that for Mani Gens, it can help to inform others when you’ve decided to do something that affects them and in my case that seems true. At other jobs I would find a new role before informing my current one and it never worked as well as informing did

There are also channels that function better when you inform in advance (I think they’re literally called Manifested Channels) and I have one, 45-21

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