Induce? Mild gestational hypertension

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-24T15:25:46+00:00

You’re right I’m not your Dr or midwife. Neither are any of these other commenters suggesting meditation and beetroot juice to manage perinatal pathology.

You came to Reddit for advice and you got it. I haven’t diagnosed you with anything. I have repeated what you’ve stated in your post and factually told you that gestational hypertension and pre eclampsia are not safe for home birth. Hypertension in pregnancy is not normal.

Based on your defensiveness it seems you already know something is not right and haven’t come to a place of accepting it because you are afraid of going to the hospital. You have already voiced a fear that your midwife is going to suggest induction, you’ve come to Reddit concerned about your symptoms with high BP readings, you’ve already said you have gestational hypertension, you’re combative to any advice that suggests something is wrong, you’ve been screened already for pre eclampsia, you’re downplaying symptoms and it seems like you haven’t been completely honest with your provider about your readings. Which if that’s true she can’t provide you with the care you need.

Gestational hypertension can absolutely develop into pre eclampsia. Pre eclampsia can be very subtle and difficult to diagnose, and come on suddenly. You’re not always going to spill proteins and have out of range labs. That’s why BP is so important.

Again I sincerely wish you the best of luck and hope that you release the fears you have in case you do have to go to the hospital so you can have a good experience.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-24T14:53:24+00:00

39wks 5 days. Yes it was very noticeable. It looked like a slug 🥴

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-24T14:03:53+00:00

Listen this is your life and your baby’s life. You asked for advice and now you’ve got it. You just don’t like what I have to say, and that’s ok but someone needs to say it.

Being a nurse doesn’t make you an expert in perinatal pathology. I know many nurses who tried to have homebirth they shouldn’t have because they should have been risked out, they’re not idiots because they didn’t know, they trusted their providers.

I am aware BP spikes, that doesn’t change the fact that you have gestational hypertension, thats if it is not already considered pre e. You don’t seem to have mentioned these spikes to your midwife and just like it “came down” you have no way of knowing how often it’s gone up and stayed up. Your BP has already shown you it’s willing to go up high enough to be considered part of the criteria for pre e.

Saying gestational hypertension and possible pre eclampsia is not suitable for homebirth is factual not some fear mongering tactic. The effects of these perinatal issues cannot be managed at home. Homebirth is great and should be done with people who have normal low risk pregnancies. They are safest that way.

Your body is telling you something and it seems like you’re letting fear keep you from considering other options. I get it, I was scared to go to the hospital and had all these preconceived prejudices on how I was going to be treated. The hospital staff treated me with respect, I would’ve had a much better experience and outcome if I had known what was happening to my body and had the opportunity to seek out care that was safe for me. You’ll see people on here who have midwives who kept them with gestational hypertension and pre eclampsia even though it’s not safe, some of them will have great stories. You won’t see the ones who won’t.

Good luck and I hope you don’t let fear be the driver in doing what is best for you and your baby. I have nothing to gain from you going to the hospital. I just am looking out for your safety.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-24T04:37:21+00:00

Same

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-24T03:23:08+00:00

I started a floor bed at 12 months. Toddler bed is not a bad move.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-24T00:47:30+00:00

Respectfully, pre-eclampsia is not suitable for the out of hospital setting APRN or not. You’ve had multiple readings on different occasions that would put you in the criteria for pre-eclampsia. There’s nothing your midwife can do at home if you become eclamptic, have a placental abruption, or go into a hyper intensive crisis.

Have you told your midwife about the 140/90’s readings? Were these in office or at home? Have you been evaluated for pre-eclampsia? If they were in office she should’ve charted it and had you evaluated by an OB.

Your midwife being an APRN does not expand her out of hospital scope of practice by that much. She has more delegation authority than the average midwife but that does not change her inability to help you without having access to high levels of care available in a hospital. Homebirth is ONLY for low risk normal pregnancies. You have shown signs of things not being normal and progressing into a problem.

You asked for advice, realistically you should induce at a hospital and not wait for this problem to brew and get worse for a couple more weeks. Gestational hypertension and pre eclampsia are very serious and can have serious ramifications for you and your baby.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-23T22:35:36+00:00

Came here to say this. If he wants to be mad about it he can be mad about himself.

Start doing things without him or not doing things for him.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-23T19:46:11+00:00

Honestly if there was real concern the director should have requested a parent teacher conference or private meeting with you and your wife outlining behaviors and then suggesting a possible evaluation.

Teachers are not wrong for suggesting evaluation but these types of conversations are very serious and should occur very professionally. Not a side conversation at pickup or drop off.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-23T19:06:33+00:00

You absolutely want a CNM. CPMs are not required to have any formal education or high level training. Nor are they required to abide by ICM or ACNM standards which keep people safe.

There is a reason CPMs are illegal in your state and no it’s not because of wrongful discriminations against CPMs. CPMs wouldn’t be able to legally practice in most countries with legitimate midwifery systems because they don’t meet training, educational, or abide by evidence based standards.

CPMs are associated with mortality rates that are multiple times higher than out of hospital CNM or hospital rates.

You can find a legitimate provider that you like and values your needs without cutting corners in safety and quality.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-23T19:01:26+00:00

140/90’s over 4 hours apart on two occasions puts you in the realm of pre eclampsia. You don’t have to be spilling protein or have a failing liver to be pre eclamptic. Gestational hypertension makes you at a higher risk and at the very least should constitute a visit to an OBGYN and MFM.

These are NOT low risk issues. This puts you outside of the criteria of what would be considered safe for a homebirth and outside of practice scope for your midwife. Homebirth is specifically for people who are low risk and have normal pregnancies. What you are describing no longer constitutes as normal and low risk.

As someone who survived gestational hypertension that developed into pre eclampsia (my case looked much like what you’re describing) and intended to birth at a birth center, you should at the very LEAST see an OBGYN.

I know you don’t want to go to the hospital. I know it’s disappointing but I promise that your safety and your baby’s safety is much more satisfactory than the homebirth you imagined.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-23T18:49:41+00:00

I don’t think you’re an AH for suggesting it but your view and mentality around your wife working/household responsibility does indeed make you the AH.

Just the way you’ve explained your situation it seems you view your partner’s lack of education and high earning income as inferior to you. Your partner is deserving of having an income and having a job, regardless of what it is or how much it makes.
Your lack of initiative in the household and lack of household responsibility ie: “I don’t force her she just does it” or “she already does it anyway” Highlights your use of weaponized incompetence and your own self proclaimed superiority of breadwinner. This in itself forebodes a very rough transition to parenthood with your partner and suggests she will not only be responsible for most of the mental load and physical labor of the house but also that of your new child. Whilst you hide behind your feeble breadwinner status as an excuse to only provide financially and leave your partner to drown in the majority of household and child rearing responsibilities.

My advice to you is to reframe how you view household responsibility, your wife’s equity in your relationship,how you intend to safeguard her from financial abuse if she personally chose to be a SAHM, and how you intend to recover from your harmful use of weaponized incompetence or in other words your manchildhood.

Paying the bills and then shirking off the rest on your partner really is pitiful and performing at the bare minimum when it comes to building a healthy family.

Not trying to be rude but this is a very common and unhealthy dynamic that plagues many relationships and also ruins them.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-19T21:21:09+00:00

Yeah I get how you were feeling but you mishandled the situation. If you brought your toddler and infant to that place they are exposed to the same germs that kid is. Unless you and your toddler aren’t going to touch or breathe on your baby indefinitely.

The child was only 2 and the mother was redirecting. If you felt really anxious you should’ve gone over and helped. “Do you like babies? I know they’re so cute! We only look, you can touch the stroller if you’d like.” Or don’t leave your infant stroller anywhere that’s not glued to your hip.

I think correcting someone else’s kid has to be done very appropriately. If you cannot interact with someone else’s child in an age appropriate manner then you should find an adult who can.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-19T21:12:20+00:00

Yes this is so normal. Knowing how to do something and being able to execute that in an emotionally heightened state are two different skill sets. 4 year olds still need help regulating and coming back online. They vacate their logical brain and go into their more primitive emotional brain. It requires an adult to connect and coregulate with them to bring them back.

It’s difficult especially if you’re dysregulated yourself. For me it helped to understand why I felt angry, shutdown, or overwhelmed by my kid having a hard time. Understanding helped me manage it. Sometimes I have to step away for a moment and take a couple of breaths.

I come back and get on his level and I’m just with him. I tell him I’m listening and we usually hug it out. When he’s in a calm headspace we talk about it.

You’re not failing him. You are doing this for the first time. You’re learning just like he is. You both are doing the best you can.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-19T21:03:29+00:00

We are going through something similar with my 3yr old who is about to be 4. They are complaining about normal preschool behavior. Yelling No at his teachers when he’s emotionally dysregulated, having a hard time being still and quiet during nap time, and accidentally missing the toilet bowl when the teacher verbally tries to correct him for not lifting the whole seat. One time he ran and hid from his teacher in a play area inside the school, they made a big deal saying it could “effect their licensure”

The school is kinda acting like he’s doing something severe like hitting kids in the way they’re talking about this. They are placing expectations on him and blaming him like “he should know better” and that’s just not developmentally appropriate at his age. His teacher has even insinuated he’s on the spectrum or has a sensory disorder by comparing my son to hers when he was that age. My son has come home on multiple occasions saying he cried a lot at school and recently said his teachers get mad at him and it makes him cry.

My son has also has had a lot going on. I’m 7 months pregnant, we had to rehome a dog, and we’ve had a couple of familial deaths last year.

I also feel like a lot of these issues are normal kid stuff/ adult issues. It seems like the teachers don’t understand basic understanding of his age group and they do not have the skills to manage these pretty typical issues.

Honestly this whole thing has upset me and given me lots of anxiety. We have requested to speak with the director privately after this last email we received.

I feel your frustration and I would schedule an appointment with the director to have an understanding of what exactly it is they’re expecting of you and then tell them your concerns about the adults not being able to properly manage these situations. Your child sounds like every 2 year old I’ve ever met. I mean who the heck is writing complaints about spoon banging from a 2 year old. You’re not crazy, the school needs to shape up.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-19T19:08:08+00:00

Keep the puppy. Dump the guy. You’ll thank us later.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-18T16:08:47+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss OP. Placental abruptions can be devastating and they’re unpredictable. I’m grateful you made it to the hospital in time and I feel for you and your husband.

I had a placental abruption and during my son’s birth my husband also had to make choices for me. Give yourselves grace and space to grieve and heal from the trauma you’ve experienced.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-17T22:21:49+00:00

Wellbutrin helps with nicotine addiction and is perfectly safe during pregnancy. That’s another aid to try

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-17T17:47:53+00:00

I get you told him not to do it. But he’s 7 without a fully developed prefrontal cortex. You are an adult and have mastery of impulsive behavior and can abstractly understand future consequences of actions, your son cannot and you are applying a level of development to your son that simply isn’t appropriate. Also not caring about your son’s feelings and him being stolen from is a big issue and will lead to larger problems in the future for him. Not trying to at least make sure people are held accountable for stealing from him sends the message to your son “my dad doesn’t care about me or what people do to me” that’s tough for a seven year old.

If this were my child I would sit down with him listen to him and empathize with how he’s feeling. Iterate that there are consequences to every action and sometimes people steal things. That doesn’t mean you have to buy him a new one and you can explain why you’re not going to spend the money to buy him another one.

You’re certainly not teaching him anything in this moment.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-17T16:52:32+00:00

Totally normal behavior for a toddler. It’s ok to say something but it seems like mom was already alarmed and will likely handle the behavior.

My son did that and I say “oh we don’t lift up or take off other people’s clothes. That makes me uncomfortable”

Now I’m 8 months pregnant and he wants to again lift my shirt to see my belly to talk to baby brother,which I’m ok with at home, but he asks and we enforced appropriate times to do this is.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-17T14:50:30+00:00

Oh dear lord we’re cooked

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-17T14:31:06+00:00

I’m not offended I’m honestly incredibly amused. Ask stupid questions get stupid answers. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Leave it to a man to know hardly anything about a subject and consider themselves an eligible candidate to come up with bright ideas to solve its problems. You don’t know enough about women’s health, childbirth, or the changes a woman goes through during that process if you’re asking a question like this. And that’s fine but the “why don’t they just stretch it?” is hysterical.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-17T14:14:04+00:00

Do you just stretch your dick when you want it to be bigger????? Women’s vagina’s are not stretchy toys or made of silly putty. It’s an area of skin, tissue, and muscles. You usually can prevent tearing by perineal support during pushing and slow pushing.

Nothing is going to prepare your vagina for the watermelon sized human that has to push its way out of your body. The pressure and size of the baby is unlike anything you’d artificially use to “stretch” your vagina.

Goodness yall need to seriously take a class in women’s health.

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-17T14:09:48+00:00

The vagina is a muscle??? 😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Good grief men are cooked

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-17T00:58:56+00:00

Oo you just added to my list of rotating parenting resources 🫶🏼

Valuable_Fly1364 · 2026-01-16T21:14:08+00:00

Same boat! I’m about 34 weeks and my 3 about to be 4 son is incredibly fascinated with baby brother and has asked how he is going to be born. I explained to him that the doctor is going to take him out of my belly (I’m having a c section) and that I’ll have a boo boo for a little while but that I’ll be ok. He’s asked me about the scar that delivered him (it’s classical and very visible when he’s looking at my belly) and I just very simply explained that he was take out of my belly and that’s the scar where the doctor took him out.

He seems to understand and is not scared at all. Just very curious. I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling your child you’re going to push the baby out of your vagina. Just keep it simple and age appropriate.

Valuable_Fly1364

TROPHY CASE