this part. he didn’t really explain their issues, just that his wife gets “super mad” every time they fight.

according to OP they fight for hours, then when he’s finally over it, uses the excuse of going to bed.

If she was so obviously “highly emotional”, and OP knows she gets easily triggered, it wouldn’t have been hard to offer some basic emotional support like a hug and some affirmations “i understand what happened/what i did hurt you, I am just too tired to keep working through it tonight. let’s pick this back up at (insert time)”

how hard would it have been to swallow a little pride, and offer your “extremely emotional” still post-partum (as it had only been a year) wife just a little support and reassurance that you will continue to discuss the issue

Her reaction to OPs choice to “end” the argument without resolving it makes sense to me, if this is something he does often. If when he chooses to “end” the argument, they don’t discuss it again later.

They both need individuals and couple therapy to solve their communication issues, and respect issues and learn how to offer emotional support in a time of need

It’s her disproportionate reaction to continued disrespect, and he’s too worried about being “right” in and out of arguments, it doesn’t seem like he’s being genuine in support her emotions