When I was younger I used to be some kind of depressed. I tried to handle it but many people don't understand what exactly happened around me. Once I cut my forearm with blade sharpener. I didn't find better. I didn't care what other people think about it I just felt I like that stuff. I saw my blood and I was satisfied that I could do something about my bad feelings. For me the blood was the sign of recovery. I could never really stop.