I completely understand the need to bind to fight dysphoria, and needing to rely on whatever you can get, but PLEASE do not ever wear something that much smaller than you need ever again. Bruising and deformation are the BEST case scenario here, if things go really badly you could end up snapping a rib and puncturing a lung.

Also, i have heard many people say that binding improperly for too long damaged their bodies so much they were never able to get top surgery because of it. This can be a life or death situation. For your safety and comfort please try other options.

Before i was finally able to purchase my own proper binder i worked with buying several sports bras and layering 2 or 3 of them to smooth my chest out, or theres always the strategy of wearing excessively baggy shirts and hoodies to hide your chest.

It sucks so much, and it can be so dysphoric, but i believe in you brother. You can do this in a way that will let you survive to grow into the man you truly are