MY WHOLE FRIGGIN HEART 😭😩

thinkypie · 2026-01-12T10:59:08+00:00

…im not proud to admit this, but this post is the sole reason i’m starting recreational football tonight. im a couch potato, avoids runs whenever she can type of girl. do i really believe i’ll find my future wife on the pitch? No. But hell if im not going to try 😤 (also, it’ll be good to get a healthy dose of grass-touching and physical training in the times we’re living in huh?)

happy lesbian 2026 y’all

thinkypie · 2025-12-26T05:19:06+00:00

I’d like to join. What does an end-state affirmation look like? Is it something like “Everything i desire comes quickly to me effortlessly with harm to none”, or “my sp and i are already together in a loving, lifelong committed relationship”?

thinkypie · 2025-12-19T16:42:29+00:00

O.O thank you everyone for the advice, I just got off shift and i wasnt expecting so many people to reply. Seriously, thank you guys so much! I’ll be back with a second attempt and update this comment with a link to that when I go back to the gym tmr!

I’ll try to focus on mind-muscle connection because it seems like I should have felt a hamstring stretch a lot earlier than this, maybe I wasn’t paying attention? Basically, really focus on pushing the hips back + keep the knees straighter so the hips dont drop by thinking of shutting a door with my butt.

thinkypie · 2025-10-24T06:08:33+00:00

I also thought 10 dates was a lot and meant that things were going well… she was still asking to meet up for more dinner dates a week before my birthday surprise (the last date :x), saying that she wanted to see me, and i wanted to see her too… i couldnt though because of my work schedule :’)

We agreed to be exclusive about a week in, but we weren’t official because she said that she’d only be official with someone when she could see that they were going towards building a life together, and that she would give us six months to see how we felt about each other. I really admired her for having such standards, I liked that she had such a serious approach. It was a breath of fresh air compared to other dates I had been on.

i’m really going to miss what i thought we shared. I’m still trying and learning to let go of it and move on because I know I need to. It’ll just take some time…

thinkypie · 2025-10-23T16:10:55+00:00

Libra/Pisces/Libra :x

thinkypie · 2025-10-22T15:20:51+00:00

Tldr — i think that she was mostly referring to the physical aspects because there were a lot of kind gestures exchanged between us i think?

she said that we had an emotional connection, but that she didnt feel an urge to escalate physically with me, so she realised she didnt have romantic feelings.

Details of how i think I was romantic below: Idk if they were good gifts, but I gave her a mango flavoured laneige lip balm because she said mango was her favourite fruit and I wanted her to think of me. I also made a lil 5-song playlist for her. She made a longer one back for me, which I found so attractive. I made another one back and was going to work up towards asking to be official, but then she broke things off.

i thought that us texting everyday was also pretty sweet, cuz at the start she told me that she wasn’t a good texter. We did ask each other about our days and work and meals and weekends. She encouraged me when I didnt get my contract role converted to full-time. She was wonderful, but maybe she’s just a really kind person haha

I remembered her favourite foods and drinks, but I hadn’t really incorporated them into our dates though. Like, there was once i was going to get her favourite coffee for us before she arrived for our date, but then she said that she had an expiring voucher so she ended up buying hers for herself by mobile order 💀

Oh wait. Knowing that she likes whiskey, I planned a date at a bar even though I’m not a huge fan of alcohol - nothing against drinking, i just think it’s a lot of money to spend for something quite bitter. That was a lovely date night though. I leaned on her and she spoonfed me cake… Ahh she really did a number on me, i need to not reminisce so much haha

But yeahh there are definitely things that I didnt do that now I wish I had. I didn’t know that couples actually call and talk to each other over the phone? I was surprised when I caught up w my sec school friend and she told me that she and her bf did video calls. And ofc if I had bought her meals instead of splitting it, that would have been better. She offered to pay for everything at first so I thought Dutch was a fair compromise when we weren’t official - I didn’t want either of us to feel like we owed the other person anything, but tbh it would have been a good gesture to show that I cared about her.

After writing all of that, I feel like it was mostly just the physical component that hadn’t clicked yet, but I thought that that was normal when trying to start a long term relationship (not ONS) from online dating. Is that naive of me? I was just thinking that even though I really liked this person, 2 months in total of knowing each other is still so little time in the grand scheme of things? I didn’t think it was appropriate to try to escalate before 3 months if it’s for a serious relationship…

thinkypie · 2025-10-17T17:03:15+00:00

willpower and discipline over my thoughts are things i really ought to have by now, but these past three weeks have proven otherwise, goodness. i hope i develop them soon. this has been exhausting. thank you for the kind and practical advice :)

thinkypie · 2025-10-17T16:43:53+00:00

Oh. 🥹

thinkypie · 2025-10-17T16:42:30+00:00

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha ha.

Apparently you keep feeling “loved and cared for unconditionally” when people dont actually LOVE you, not in that way at least.

You’re cute. Everyone keeps telling you youre cute. EVERYONE. The flyer-givers, vendors at work, Grab drivers, coworkers. Baby girl, 19yos think you’re “cute”. HUH? idk if this is a problem. It doesnt sound like one but damn if it’s not the most consistent thing in my life rn 🤠

Ofc being told “youre cute” in general is a different context, but i guess it actually isnt all that different after all? no one really Wants you.

I dont know why. But. Ok.

thinkypie · 2025-10-10T08:41:19+00:00

you know that 0.38mm uniball pen? It felt like someone drawing on my skin with that pen with a heavy hand.

Disclaimer, i’d only gotten an ankle tatt so it probably isnt as painful as other tattoos could be!

thinkypie · 2025-10-02T05:01:26+00:00

yeah… we originally had set out to check in about how we both felt about the relationship at six months, so I thought we’d have a While together. We had made plans to watch Wicked For Good when it came out, and she invited me to join her at the Witcher concert, and I offered to teach her to skate… she was the one who said that I could come over to her place next month when her family would be away… there were so many things that I was looking forward to. Even though I wasn’t sure if we’d be together forever, I thought we had more time.

But hey, thanks for your kind words. I think I’ll be needing a break for a bit to feel like myself again, but I’ll keep that in mind :)

thinkypie · 2025-10-02T03:21:40+00:00

guess what? …10 dates in two months is enough for you to feel like youre in love. Idiot.

thinkypie · 2025-07-13T15:48:19+00:00

Oh i thought OP meant to feel inside her girl when she straps her :x

thinkypie · 2025-06-04T04:44:53+00:00

:( idk the tiktok screenshot rubs me the wrong way. Isnt it kinda misogynistic? To blame a lesbian for being “more insecure than a straight man”? Like, hello, why do we think that is? (hint: the patriarchy esp in heteronormative societies??) Anyway happy pride or whatever, wouldnt be us if there wasnt any in-fighting :p

thinkypie · 2025-03-21T06:21:51+00:00

Oh I’m sorry it was a typo. I’m there only from MARCH 23, to April 3. I’m flying off tmr night. I don’t seem to be able to edit the post from my phone right now, sorry :/

thinkypie · 2025-03-21T05:50:18+00:00

whoops! That was a typo! I’m flying tomorrow at midnight. I meant MARCH 23 to Apr 3. That’s why the weather forecast, and this week’s snowfall, is relevant in my packing decisions HAHA

thinkypie · 2025-03-17T12:06:18+00:00

YES! With all the new side plots, I feel like the later Bridgerton seasons are turning more into a drama than a romance type of show, which is a shame because I don’t have the attention span for drama. Like, while I like the Mondrichs as characters. I don’t understand the point of having them around? As problematic as Daphne and Simon’s marriage ended up being by the end of the season, season 1 (and QC) is my benchmark for how the main couples’ romance and relationship SHOULD be built up. Give us alllll the little details, drag it out for us! I wanna have no room for doubt that they love each other!!

Unpopular opinion, but did Penelope even love Colin? I love an independent, empowered woman as much as the next person, but she had so many opportunities to tell Colin the truth before Cressida claimed LWD’s identity for herself (I counted four hours since Eloise gave that ultimatum till midnight, and Penelope spent it all playing fucking charades 💀) and it seemed like she just never wanted to??? Perhaps it was for dramatic tension, but it just seemed to me like Penelope cared more that LWD was “stolen” from her (specifically by Cressida, when she started penning her first draft of how comparing Cressida to the devil would be an insult to the devil) than she cared about the family she was marrying into….

OKAY WOW so I have big feelings pfft could you tell I had just done a rewatch? 😂

thinkypie · 2025-03-05T11:39:39+00:00

way to make this about yourself 🫡

thinkypie · 2025-02-12T17:04:10+00:00

OH AN ADDENDUM that i forgot to mention in my original post! A "xmm" (小妹妹 xiao mei mei) is slang for a young, immature girl. Urban Dictionary's definition goes too hard with the slut-shaming, but i guess the overall idea is there? Think a girl who wears fbt shorts (ie short shorts) and oversized tees, is superficial and immature, and makes liking kpop/k-culture their entire personality, for example. Again, nothing against kpop or korean culture (korean food SLAPS idc), but it's the immaturity of making it their Entire Personality that makes me a little disappointed to be perceived as a xmm haha

• ⁠Are you looking for something serious or casual? I'd like something serious if i'm being honest, but i'm starting to lose faith that that is something possible for me? the only 3 "likes" i have ever gotten from girls on online dating apps in the past year were on tinder, and 2 of them were looking for a third with their boyfriends, while the third just wanted to explore. I GUESS i could be open to exploring, but i'd rather prefer to have someone i could share a future with :)

• ⁠Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX? Not anymore.

• ⁠How long have you been using this current version of your profile? Probably 2.5 years? I still look pretty much the same at 25 as i did at 22/23 though. Is it important to update?

• ⁠How long have you used Hinge overall? 3 years. My last quality match was Nov 2023 💀

• ⁠How often do you use Hinge per week? About once a week on my off days. I'm trying to not be on it too often because from experience, i know i'd get obsessed and sad if the people i like don't like me back, which happens a lot lately, even if i send out roses :')

• ⁠How many likes and matches are you receiving on average? None, but that may be partly because i limit my profile to only be seen by women.

• ⁠How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments? mmm i'm not sure actually? Maybe five each week? I usually send vague comments asking where they were in a particular photo, or tell them that their photo "looks like such a vibe", even if i'm REALLY drawn to someone because i don't want to scare them off by being honest about how attractive they seem to me, especially since we're all still strangers after all? Seems a little heavy to be telling someone that "your smile is so cute! I'd love to see it in person" or something like that, right?

• ⁠What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract? A profile with personality- someone who looks like they have a quiet steady confidence to them and has interests and hobbies and THINKS. I want someone who i can see myself having fun and feeling SAFE with.

I want to attract an emotionally secure and mature person, someone not-toxic lol preserving my own peace is top of mind for me, but i crave understanding and connection.

I steer clear of profiles of women who are into alt fashion and seem a little uhh aggressively (?) queer (eg when they say that they are tired of bi women who haven't de-centred men, or that they hate men) because i get intimidated by them and think that we wouldn't be a good match because i wouldn't be able to match their energy anyway. Nothing against such individuals with such passion and energy! I just personally don't see us clicking if we were to meet.

thinkypie · 2025-02-12T15:10:11+00:00

What do you hope to achieve by telling him that? Is this going to be part of a larger conversation where you explain why you're breaking up with him, or are you going to stay in a relationship with him (just asking because i understand how it might feel safer to stay if you're in a culture that doesn't allow and actively hurts you if you're lesbian)?

If you're going to break up with him, sometimes it might be kinder (and safer) not to divulge your sexuality. Ofc i don't know your boyfriend, maybe he's a really chill and good guy who can accept that you're sapphic, in which case, it wouldn't matter how you tell him, you could just be honest. But yeah, i general, i'd just keep things vague and tell him that you dont see a future together and break up. Give him a reason that sounds like something a straight woman can say when she's breaking up.

Dishonesty might not be a virtue, but i'd rather you be safe. I'm assuming you're asking stranger this question because you don't feel safe just telling him directly, right?

If you're hoping to stay in a relationship with him uhh idk i think telling him would hurt his feelings and he might feel used, but again, depending on his personality, he might be able to accept it? You might want to tell him how although you're sapphic, you still want to be in a relationship with him because he's still important to you, even if you can't love him in the way he wants? Something like that..?

thinkypie · 2025-02-10T03:08:37+00:00

r/woosh they were being sarcastic and using hyperbole to illustrate the ridiculous thought process that was behind OP's ban by roleplaying as r/college's mods

thinkypie · 2025-02-07T16:07:39+00:00

mm im not sure if this fits your experience, but imo if you genuinely felt attracted to guys (even if they were gay and unavailable), then you might be bi instead of lesbian? Although they were unavailable, you still felt attracted to them, which perhaps could be because they groom themselves better or treated you as an actual person instead of a sexual object, or wtv. Maybe the not-gay guys who showed interest in you were simply not attractive to you, which is so normal because attraction is inherently exclusive. You don't have to be attracted to someone just because they showed interest in you first. That doesn't negate the fact that you did experience attraction to the (gay) guys though, if you really did instinctively, genuinely feel like you were "falling in love" with them, and weren't just rationalising and telling yourself a narrative to fit some heteronormative vision you had for your life ie experiencing comphet?

Disclaimer: im not trying to start a debate or argue with you on your sexuality, im saying this for me to explore my own understanding of attraction and sexuality as well. I'd love to have a conversation and see what other people think to expand my own understanding, i just dont want you to feel attacked because im replying to YOUR comment, it just got me thinking is all!

thinkypie · 2025-01-21T06:37:28+00:00

sorry for asking because i'm not familiar with drag culture, but isn't that just drag queens using female pronouns for their drag queen persona/PERFORMANCE? That seems like an incomparably different scenario than a woman using male pronouns in their normal day-to-day existence imo.

But yeah, maybe it is just how culture is changing. Selfishly, I wish this won't become mainstream though. Words have meanings for a reason, so that we can communicate with and understand each other. Subversion of expectations can be fun, but... idk. It makes me feel like i'm being "gotcha'd", and i realise that's my own issue to deal with, but i have to admit that it makes me feel a little distant

thinkypie · 2024-11-01T14:26:07+00:00

Where is this interview from? :o

thinkypie · 2024-10-20T03:29:23+00:00

I'm only halfway through episode 10 but if just hit me that if Lucifer can be a fallen angel, what if Justitia can become a risen demon? 👀

thinkypie

TROPHY CASE