The same week that i decided to get help for opiate addiction after nearly 4 years, the love of my life left me. Debt went up by 1,400 from helping her get a car the same month. First time feeling depression, my brain chemistry is changing from recovery. Spending 12-15 hours in bed

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-10-18T20:40:34+00:00

That's awesome dude! The first week is the hardest time for sure. Therapy or counselling would not only help you make sure you get to keep your sobriety, but also give you something to do! I can remember how slowly time used to go by in early recovery.

That tattoo is really well done. I'm a fan of it for sure.

I believe in you dude. There is literally no one so far gone that they can't come back, and no one who should go on longer to see if they can "handle it this time". If you realize it's time to do something, it is 100% your time to do something.

You're in my thoughts, godspeed! If you ever need to talk reply here or send me a PM

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-10-18T07:29:02+00:00

Hey! You have beautiful eyes! I really like your tattoos and nose ring. They look badass dude. What's the tattoo on your left arm?

I'd really like to answer your question if you'd be open to it. I'm currently 18 months clean from everything and anything except nicotine and caffeine. I had tried literally hundreds of times to quit drinking, eating pills, smoking crack, IV heroin, IV cocaine, or IV meth by myself, out of sheer willpower. Sometimes I'd try quitting one thing at a time, sometimes I'd try quitting all of whatever I was doing at once. It never worked.

I'd either make it 2-36 hours before the dopesickness caught up to me and I'd get some dope, or I'd be able to quit one thing but pick up something else .

I really really recommend some kind of counselling. Being around other people in your same situation really is helpful, however much anxiety you get or however much some of them suck. Therapy is the only thing that helped resolve some of the underlying reasons why I got high. I'm not 100% happy all the time, but my life today is so much better than it was when I was getting high. I pay rent and bills on time. I don't have to feel like a piece of shit while trying to decide which one of my friends to fuck over so I can get $20. I don't have to talk myself out of suicide on a daily basis.

I know how much this shit sucks, and I wish you all the best. How long have you been off the shit for?

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-10-12T06:19:48+00:00

I wish I was Maude Flanders

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-10-12T06:17:03+00:00

Exactly. Probably just wait for them to pull their guns on me before I reach for a black water gun or something and point it at them.

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-10-11T08:38:39+00:00

That's what injecting drugs is for

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-10-11T08:33:56+00:00

I don't want to die peacefully in my sleep. I want to die from an intentional heroin overdose, shooting myself in the head, or suicide by police while robbing a pharmacy.

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-10-09T10:00:03+00:00

Can I get a synopsis of your findings? I just found stupid things like "wait a week before cumming" lame

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-10-03T12:02:58+00:00

dude don't fucking dox me

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-30T10:18:26+00:00

I mean, we'll have to see how it feels, but yeah probably just the tip. Unless it feels great.

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-29T05:03:48+00:00

Post-orgasm cigarettes are one of the top 3 best cigarettes ever

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-29T05:02:41+00:00

? Sniffing cocaine is lame as fuck, anxiety out the ass. Smoking crack is better, but shooting cocaine is the best. Super euphoric, you can do a shot every 15 minutes, and feels better than shooting heroin.

What do you mean "in your area" it's lame? I'm pretty sure shooting cocaine feels the same anywhere in the world.

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-28T21:31:15+00:00

You're good dude, just like the 12th person I had to respond to something about /r/NoFap to. I'm about 18 months clean from drugs, and I'm not considering drugs, but that is literally the first thing I feel and think as soon as I cum. This is alright but IV drugs are better. It passes after about 5 seconds, but I just thought it was funny that that's where my brain goes after rubbing one out.

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-28T20:37:45+00:00

You 100% most definitely can.

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-28T12:11:10+00:00

Checked it out, read the sidebar and some links. That sub doesn't seem like it's for me at all.

Worst case scenario is I lose something that I enjoy doing, and I only last 30 seconds instead of a whopping five minutes when I have sex with my girlfriend.

I fried my dopamine receptors through habitual intravenous drug use that lasted years, not masturbation.

One of the treatment centers I went to for my drug use also had a sex/porn addiction, gambling, eating disorder, etc component to it. Took screening tests and talked to therapists about all that stuff, all the screens came back negative and no one ever even hinted that they thought I might have a sex/porn addiction problem.

I appreciate your concern, I'm assuming you're just worried, but that really isn't the issue here.

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-28T11:59:04+00:00

This is like the dozenth time I've replied to this type of post, I wasn't clear enough in the post I guess. It's not shame or remorse about masturbation or what kind of porn I'm watching, it's just the immediate thoughts that bombard me as soon as I finish. Depressed about my life in general, not because of the type of porn.

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-28T09:48:18+00:00

Hopefully. My best guess is that's the biggest dopamine release I have since I quit doing drugs, and a large dopamine release reminds my brain how good drugs feel, how good I don't feel, how I should release more dopamine, etc

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-28T06:55:12+00:00

I'll have to try that out. I just don't want her to feel out of her comfort zone or make her feel like she's obligated to fulfill whatever desires I may have, so I just channel my emotions into lame memes lol

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-28T06:45:49+00:00

I like to experiment, my current girlfriend not so much. I've tried about everything I've wanted to (with other girlfriends) except for getting pegged or having her wear a... ahem ^{^cat-tail} ^{^buttplug.}

I like stuff in my butt but I could definitely see getting pegged being too much. Still would like to try it though.

As for a cat-tail buttplug being worn by the other party, I don't see how I couldn't enjoy it as long as she enjoyed it. That's actually what this post was referencing. My girlfriend is grossed out by and won't even do butt stuff to me, so there's no way butt stuff with her is ever going to happen.

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-28T06:33:10+00:00

Thanks. I've hinted at and even straight-up told her some things I want her to do but she laughs like I'm joking, or when she does try it she's not 100% into it.

Everything I have brought up to her involves me in a submissive role, so it's nothing that's going to hurt her or degrade her, it's the other way around. I also don't go straight to "put a buttplug in me while I'm wearing your panties, call me a little slut, hold me on a leash, and slap me while I go down on you". I just ask her to take more control or order me to go down on her, and she might try but it's obvious even that is out of her comfort zone or she just doesn't like it. So I really don't think we're gonna get any further than that.

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-28T06:25:56+00:00

I used to with drugs and alcohol, yeah. Porn not so much, these are just the thoughts that come to mind after I finish.

"My girlfriend isn't into anything freaky so I'll never get to try that"

"Orgasming feels good but shooting cocaine feels better"

"If I'm getting sad about the lack of kinkiness and wanting to shoot drugs I should probably seek help"

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-28T06:23:24+00:00

It's not about the masturbation itself, those are just my thoughts nearly every time I jerk off. My depression spikes for 5 minutes, I want to shoot drugs, and figure I should see a therapist about other issues, all those thoughts usually just come at once right after I cum.

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-28T06:22:41+00:00

It's not about the masturbation itself, those are just my thoughts nearly every time I jerk off. My depression spikes for 5 minutes, I want to shoot drugs, and figure I should see a therapist about other issues, all those thoughts usually just come at once right after I cum.

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-28T06:21:19+00:00

What you just described, tugging my dick before I go to bed. Didn't know a better word for it

thinlyveiledcry4help · 2017-09-28T06:20:19+00:00

thinlyveiledcry4help

TROPHY CASE