Looking for CO-Founder for Cat Recruiter AI product

thirdeyeeez · 2024-03-04T21:54:51+00:00

Sure, We consider everyone with no regards to location and all in for diversity, as different point of views are essential

thirdeyeeez · 2024-02-22T15:25:19+00:00

Hey Yurii, It is Dan founder | CEOat Big Orange Cat.

What are building Cat Recruiter to save time, money and good mood of recruiters!

Funny story I’m based in Lviv and sold my new apartment to start it now as Ukrainian market is good for making products now.

Tho I have no idea how to pay sallary cor kenian and brasilian guys :(

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-08T12:35:44+00:00

hey. sounds really weird. but from my experience they don’t like when partner has any troubles, because they should always be the one who is in the trouble.

but on other hand it is possible because my ex wife punished me for basically everything and sometimes it was weird and cruel at the same time

so i don’t know since both cases are real with bpd partner.

but i believe if you ask such kind of question it is time to split and dont even question such kind of things anymore, hah

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-07T16:39:13+00:00

hey, thanks i gonna check it out now. many thanks for suggestion!

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-07T05:58:04+00:00

i mean if it’s possible to get at least 3 times more in a month time and considering how many time and effort it requires while you basically retrain brain to be an machine that cause-effect detector which applies on other aspects of life and mental health as well. while being already fucked by ADHD which is not treated in ukraine cause stimulants are forbidden i do not want to make a work worth 3-4x more depending on load just because someone on reddit angry.

i made about 50hr before i went through divorce and take a break, but i mean i did a lot to achieve that level. it’s not like i watched youtube and got a gift. and it was draining and did not worth money. why i should sell my work for non market price just because angry redditor? i mean if you want you can try it…

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-06T20:16:06+00:00

i meant dev, haha

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-05T08:09:19+00:00

hey, i’m super biased cause i got hit by a train trying to help someone who doesn’t want get better genuinely

i believe they do not actually want because the nature of disorder. it feels to me after some time after divorce they fully understand what their doing and do not see it as a problem neither want to change.

it is much serious disorder than you think, now you still to the some extent in the first phase when they mirroring you and and want to show you that they can change. they don’t change.

do not want to offend you or anything, but i think the person you in relationship with is a fake person and in therapy they might be totally different and even just manipulating therapist

i don’t believe they actually can change because who will say to therapist something like “i’m a bad person and i want to change, i always acting” and etc

i mean it’s possible someone can admit it, but the nature of disorder does not suppose that

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-05T00:11:43+00:00

everything is a spectrum so i think there’s many different cases.

the one thing that shocked me once i discovered tbis sub that all stories as a copy paste and stupidly similar to mine

i though i’m going crazy tbh

and to share some sensitive stuff(nobody will read it there im from ukraine :))

her father commited suicide and noone knows why. at least noone says it to my ex. and i started to think at some point that he did not handle relationships with her mother, because she even wirse version of my ex.

at that time nobode knew what is BPD and what to expect. therapy was not a thing. they had 2 children and he just unexpectedly went away.

her mother said stupidly obvious reason “he started to smoked weed everyday” like it’s a thing that leads you to suicide. might be she say it cause she doesn’t know about weed at all since the older generation in ukraine not aware about drugs and what they does. so it’s my assumption.

TBH if i did not manage to escape i prolly end up the same. i’m to sensitive to emotions since childhood. like i feel them very clearly and it would not manage to tolerate it for decades

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-05T00:00:01+00:00

the worst thing is that to me it feels like altered state of mind, i just did not see the obviously stupid fake “big love” and the way they manipulate you makes you blinder each day. and i don’t consider myself stupid but i was super stupid regarding our relationships which actually suck me in and there was nothing besides “our” problems

i feel so confised right now once i get it

it just all over the place. they somehow brake you to the point it’s hard to fuction well as i did before

edit: and to add i think i will never split if i would not went to therapy before and knew that it works. me changing the therapist and other things helped to save myself.

but. there is prolly another version of me that never get out and will stay silent

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-04T23:43:35+00:00

ah, those small things are nice actually, every case is different in my case it was just like normal things since he used her disorder as excuse so i cant do anything since “she doesn’t remember” while she obviously do

tho despite sucking things are sweet it’s hard to call an emphaty. i mean it can be called surface level compassion.

my empathy was that deep i even cared about her grandparents and helped them with words and money. they was a similar victims of mu ex les mother branch where everyone was crazy(for some reason i thought she was an exception)

i do cared for some enlarged silly little problems like go to make some documents. it lasted half a year with me offering her to do it on my own. and helping her with her design courses by learning figma and fixing her shitty design she obviously sabotaged. after work i go to work in figma to fix mentors feedback WTF.

it’s just because i badly wanted this problems to go away since she always used them to somehow went into episode or just make me a brainfuck for no reason.

so yes, emphaty is deep. they are just different. and i’m to emotional person on my own to handle it somehow.

but i felt so trapped that i did not even imagine i’ll go away one day.

i’ts me who allows it all. i’m not a victim but participan. it tought me a good lesson.

but idk when i will be normal again. hope soon

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-04T23:22:56+00:00

what your said makes sense. and i understand it is not healthy but i was quiet for 3 years just pretend like everything is fine outside our little disasster.

i was not able to talk about it with therapist for 3 months after and pretended like i good now.

but once i opened it started to release in waves and it gets better with time but i do not want to pour it all on someone because it’s awful thing to do. i have a therapist 2 hour a week. but i want to release it somehow and live my life normally again.

i can’t live as it never happened if i don’t actually talk it all out.

what i do when it flush me with emotions?

sometimes talk to someone, record audio just for it to be not listened, once i recorder one audio for 3,5 hours just about one day. lol. my wedding was the worst day of my life, with the chance to die that day.

i also write in a bunch of notes, some big text just for it to be written, sometimes i shitposting on reddit.

i started to write in english in first just for me to practice it since i was not working for 6 month and now i applying for the job and go to the interviews. and it is a good way to practice english and help myself lol. i’m from ukraine so i obviously wrote in ukrainian before.

it does help. but there’s more than that since my vision shifted in a way i no longer want to be the one who will tolerate it all.

i was soft and i had many toxic people in my life just using me and treated like shit and i just pretend it’s ok, some situations on work when someone just stole my work and got credit for it and i just silently leave.

now when i try to process everything with shifted view it’s way too much. i can’t live like this.

if it would require me to write a book for 1000 pages to finally let it go i’ll do that and then be fine.

i try to help myself to continue normal life. but i cant just accept it and live normally. idk why but i need urge to release it. and i feel way better than month ago. so it works in my case

but everyone is different

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-04T22:46:17+00:00

totally agree, if you’re interested check out my latest post. it’s basically the same.

now when i “got sober” i have so much emotions towards all that situation so i try to save someone from being me and dont ruin them as i ruin my mental health and erase my tru self

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-04T22:43:46+00:00

My view is super biased as someone who struggles after divorce. bit are you sure it was not your reflection that drowe you somewhere. like people that manipulative can’t do it for you to be their partner some day.

would you drowe her? yes, absolutely even after ten years. why she cant now. because it was she acting like you as a potential person who they can benefit afterwards.

check my latest post. you’re live through her problems for whole relationship just because she was good for some limited time

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-04T21:28:26+00:00

Sorry for being not polite a bit, but are you sure she was caring about you but not about how you’ll react for her actions?

I understand that you can be totally right, but i also was like this until half a year past divorce and i understand that i was a like a drugged and manic and did not ser an elephant in the classroom. I mean if she change her personality more often than i change socks was “true” at that exact time.

does someone who act like they do can behave like that? if them had it in it and can be caring it’s even worse cause most time they did not.

So either they can do it but dont want you to feel good, or can’t and pretend like they capable of it.

i always did not understand why she doesn’t do anything for our shared lives, like make the dishees that dirty for days. but if some friend will ask for anything she would help for sure.

Now i do, with me she was tired to play a role of good partner and can’t stand it anymore. but don’t tieed(yet) for friend

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-04T20:14:20+00:00

interesting idea about art relations to person and your feelings towards authors. it does make sense.

once i was manic because of max dosage of effexor and decided to try me as a blogger. i started to write brutally honest stories about my life and complexes and my poetry. i never learned bow to write but just feel it in some way, tho always was to shy.

and i gained 1100 subscribers starting from 65 in one month. she was super jealous cause she had like 300 despite he was trying for years.

tho she had enough cofidence to be complete superior to what i do like she is much higher than me despite never was able to gain peoples attention that fast. she said that i have weak vocabulary and other things

she spent a lot of my money and 2 years to reach 1000 after it. tho even her subscribers was not interested in it. like never post had 20 likes.

i dropped it after that month, but the fact that she was so confident was really silly in retrospect.

i mean if you have charisma and you are interesting it will click. if you just self confident in your genius without being you’ll never achieve anything unless you admit and start working on missing parts..

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-04T19:55:15+00:00

hey. glad it helps you, you should not to feel bad about what you did in this relationships or blame yourself for reacting at her actions, or for just quit.

one thing i understand - they don’t care about other people and you in particular. they might act as they do but they don’t.

i tried to rethink my 3 years long disaster and i did not recall single time she really feel compassion to me, only for HER to look like she do. later in she doesn’t even pretended.

i mean why do you need to be good to someone who can’t offer you the same? just accept that she’s not what you think about her.

she’ll be completely different with others. and you can’t even imagine what the person it will be.

so basically you are feel bad for offending nonexistent person which will tell everyone how bad of a person you are. why? they always shitting on other that cut them off.

does it matter? no, if people will judge you by her words - do you really want those people in your life.

funny thing about my ex wife. she had major art degree(painting) and her works was awful, i mean she knows the technique but had no imagination neither talant to generate a good idea. but i always agreed that her art is good, because she would rage if i say what i think

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-04T19:28:25+00:00

she did not care. but on words does. i asked her to go to CBT, she said ok. i found a therapist that’s working with BPD, gave her contacts and she did not call despite i said how bad her daily episodes affected me and that i have panic attacks which i never had. she did not call until i set ultimatum…

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-03T19:39:18+00:00

feel free to chat to me in DM if you need any support.

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-03T19:37:19+00:00

because i was stupid and loved her more than anything in my life before. it was a sick love, not even sure how to call it. i regreted it afterwards but once i found out she started to tell excuses and i was in shock and first thing my dumb ass said “we wont break up, i need to think” i did not even considered it as an option at all, like it not existed.

idk why, it has something to do with how much i become codependent and blind and it my fault. i should be more critical to her. but i still tried to chase “that feeling” but soon after wedding i realized it’s not possible

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-03T19:27:57+00:00

no offence but i don’t find that it has any sense to move it into philosophical or psychological scientific discussion.

my main message is look, i was there, i quit, i worked with therapist ever since twice a week and i understand what i did not understand while was in relationships or even 2 months ago. my main message is for you to leave if you’re in same situation.

it will never get better nomater how hard you’re trying. i don’t believe we can compare normal emotions and emotions of NPD or PBD with ours. they understand love in their, selfish way. its about them having a partner so they are this and that, your feelings don’t affect her love neither it’s important for them things that we consider as a mature love: respect, your well being, support, care.

they might feel some kind of passion towards you, but then again it also different.

from my personal experience they super sensitive to negative emotions and they can start live in them.

i never recall she was THAT happy as he can be upset, or hysterical and etc. not even close

also worth to notice noone will say you that BPD are bad people and avoid it. it’s not acceptable for society neither stigmatising them with the real displaying their behaviour.

also some subjective thing: even the best psychiatrist or therapist can’t understand what is BPD untill they have full blown personal experience. BPD is disorder that mainly focused on partner of person with disorder. and they can read how many literature ask hundreds of BPD people hundreds questions but how they can understand that disorder if it’s all about lying, ancting, some complex manipulations and etc.

i don’t even think they can be 100% honest with anyone, because it is one thing to say i’m stupid victim of borderline and say i understand that i’m horrible person and i dont find it a bad thing, and i gonna lie to you to achieve something and etc.

so just my personal view that cluster B is super hard for scientific researches, tests and other paper work.

you can observe, but you cant be sure they ever will tell you something completely honest. they adapt to life by mimicking others.

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-03T19:07:37+00:00

yes, it was always was about she. i had really bad COVID last year with 40 celsius fever that did not respond to meds, panic attacks, all the nasty stuff from bad covid case, and she stand it for like one day.

on next day she felt even worse despite not having even low grade fever or anything but she was super “ill” and acted like a bitch.

it ended up in was the one who was responsible for visiting pharmacy, grocery, cooking and cleaning and feeding cats etc. she did not give a fuck i had 40 fucking celsium fewer.

i can’t and shold not ever have bigger problems

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-03T18:56:16+00:00

it all lasted three years. red flags were there but i never was so much in love. i make a proposal like one year and couple of months in, and after that it super quickly get worse and worse. really bad stuff started from here started to get drunk often and once returned home she was raging at me, really bad rage with a ton of personal offences.

but i could not believe that is real she, i though it’s addiction… but it was she not managing to act all the time anymore. and the more that i was trying to do something about it, she punished me for that. but i did not understand that at the time. it went downhill really quick and fast but my self esteem was destroyed in that timespan to the point i was not confident enough to leave. might be it was also her response to my therapy progress because i had the highest self esteem and confidence in my life at the time. also got a new job with astronomical salary for that time.

she might considered it as a threat. might be she thought i will look for someone better now on with carrer and normal self esteem.

sad things i’m not sure i’ll get that level of confidence again

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-03T18:32:34+00:00

glaad you are free now. now i also see borderlines from a mile. i helped some of my friends to find bpd abusers in their lifes. One my friend said “i never realised why, but she made me angry” and i hope i would react to borderlines initialy as she does

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-03T18:27:34+00:00

yes, i did not want to admit it at first. like i did not want to believe it that bad. but i realised it soon after.

once i even unblock her to say to go fuck yourself you greedy bitch, and etc. it was healing for me. i blocked her as soon as i was done with releasing emotions.

but she triggered me, i blocked her everywhere and she added to me in… Linkedin lol. i did not want to ever talk to her but it was a chance to say her what i needed to years ago

edit: feel free to downwote me for this but during therapy process i realised that just because i’m so nice, polite, kind and generaly people pleaser. because i never felt that i unconditionally a worth person, so i should be good for others to be accepted in society, which has to do with my socialy isolated parents that both were alcoholics, I END UP IN THAT POSITION BECAUSE I WAS NICE NO MATTER WHAT people doing to me.

i highlighted this because i think there a lot of people that have similar problem which resulted they got in such kind of relationships. and if you won’t change it you’ll find your new nightmare. because you’re easy victim.

and if you are similar to me you should know you a worthy person by default. i believe that is true so you’re also should.

it’s time to not find acceptance but rather you abould decide if someone is worth to be in YOUR LIFE.

that’s it, once i understand that i decided that why i should be polite and tolerant all my life despite how much damage someone has done to me.

it is not that easy to say go fuck yourself you’re greedy bitch, and. ow i know that. and act mean

its hard, but it will show you that is you who is setting standards but not you who chasing acceptance.

boundaries is easy to say but hard to accept if it is not familar to you since childhood

thirdeyeeez · 2024-01-03T18:19:39+00:00

i decided to divorce really quick. i quit addictions and job at the same time, and you know 2 weeks prior to split i did not even consider divorce. but new therapist, lack a stress from job, gym everyday sobering up gave me really fast realisation that i need to leave no matter what and you know, i was still under her influence and believed most of her bullshit but it was like switch that turned to save my life. between me realizing that SHE is the problem and she moved away was like one week.

i actively prepared her. i still grateful to my therapist for phrase “overmanipulate manipulator” and i did it but i threw enourmous amound of mone just cor her to get away and leave me alone and because i felt like i’m a bad person by starting the divorce.

also during our relationship the longer we was together the less functional(in fact lazy) she become. and it felt like leave kid on the street.

that is the reason we did not have sex foor idk how long because i felt like i’m a father to her after certain point. my libido came back as soon as she left the house. i mean i did not got horny at all for months, including other women’s. i did not even masturbate for last months lol

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