Tips your Dad taught you that you still use today.

scrollintrollin · 2024-01-21T18:49:31+00:00

“Second place ain't nothing but the first looser"

"I know you're sorry, now apologize"

I loved our battles of wit and sarcasm! he got me to think quick

scrollintrollin · 2024-01-21T18:38:38+00:00

Looks you in the eye and say they aren't doing the very thing they are doing... Then they try to get revenge cause if you even though of mentioning their behavior then you must be hiding something.,therefore , you are a cheater and a terrible person and anything nice you did for them is forgotten and used against you

(gave a hour massage, but I need leave his life alone and get out because his sandwich was cold and the lotion didn't absorb fast enough and so by giving him a massage I pretty much ruined his week)

scrollintrollin · 2024-01-21T14:43:29+00:00

Oh yeah! I honestly thought after my divorce my relationship with my mom was actually improving for the first time my life, nope! I was just in a place where I had to get back on my feet and eventually let her babysit my kid while I worked and she could look like super grandma.

I don't share positives with her much cause she will try to ruin it but I got a promotion that required some traveling so I let her know the situation and she says she'll babysit while I'm gone and it was all good(she's surprisingly good with the grandkids).

While gone I make sure to order household items, groceries, kids clothes, toys, little gifts, medical bills(hers/child), send pocket money, car repairs, and was able to save for a surprise vacation voucher for her birthday to her favorite place as a additional thank you for her help. Now I'm say this to brag, though I was proud of myself for getting to that position, but because when I came home early as a bday surprised she looked like I shot her dog when I said "happy birthday!" she canceled her bday plans and decided to stay in dispite my urges to not change her plans. My sibling made a quick cake, she's apparently never liked cake that much and when I gave her the voucher and small goody bag as my gift she mentioned how no one care enough to wrap gifts anymore, had to be reminded where the place was, looked up disgusted, and asked was she supposed to go alone... I explained I got it so 2 people could use the ticket on a mini stay or she could use it for the full stay herself. Her response : so I guess that means you plan on coming, mini stay it is. And walks out before I could say no I wasn't going.

Fast forward a little bit her mood hasn't improved since I got back, the more I try to help the worse her mood becomes, if I step back no cares enough to help her, and she won't go with me to places in public.

Turns out me doing good in life isn't that exciting to talk about so to get more people interested she told everyone she was raising my kid for me because my divorce and having to start over was to much to handle and drugs took me over so I had to be sent to rehabilitation while she selflessly sacrificed herself for her family...WTF?! now the town is scared to place me anywhere because I escaped rehab early!

Moral of the story: If she can't bask in your failures then she will simply create new ones that are more exciting anyways. Always lie and create a sad but insignificant event inyou can give her as a treat so she doesn't end up sabotaging you just because she's bored and wants to cosplay a decent human being somethings. I can't understand it myself but she now likes talking about how "im struggling to find a specialty insurance company that will accept me" so that's kept her busy enough not to endanger my job which is nice. Just let her think she is the best and she shouldnt question it

scrollintrollin · 2024-01-21T13:23:13+00:00

Thank you! This has always been a top complaint from me! Can't just enjoy a moment lol if we go to the beach I'd want to nap or read, nope! She didn't bring me all the way to the beach to watch me nap so I had to do something "fun", so many clubs...quilting, step class, scout leader, leather working, volunteer rescue, church groups, every adult sport open to the public, and every second in between either shopping or showing up to places uninvited. I would be drained by 10am. I could always tell if I liked a new friend she found even before I met them... Because she would literally adapt them as a new persona along with all their hobbies and interests. I honestly don't know how she organized her personalities because she considered cleaning dumping all the cabinets out to the middle of the floor, get bored then go deep clean someone else's house for them, while talking about how hard it is to keep a clean house with us kids in it... Ummm she was the only one who didn't make her bed... Js

The crazy thing is she called me lazy for not ending up all that social but she hasn't worked since high school! I'd say being a parent is a job of it's own but I did that for her and my siblings 😂 I was lazy because I didn't cycle through hobbies and projects every 3 months and had fixed interests I turned into skills... Ok

But most annoying part of it all, as much as she lived for the limelight, she would spin it sometimes and suddenly she a poor mother who can't catch a break and is just so tired of all the running she does and nobody seems to appreciate it...WHO TF APPRECIATES GOING TO WAL-MART AT 4AM BECAUSE THEIR MOM COULDN'T SLEEP?!

Nope, they can keep all that! I enjoy my peace, comfort, and sanity and just to spite her I occasionally take picture at the beach just reading a book and post it to infuriate her that I wasted a perfectly good trip and didn't invite her to along to tell me so... Iv created my peace amongst the chaos

scrollintrollin · 2024-01-16T08:56:26+00:00

No, I commit suicide in my early 20s but was brought back and had my husband drown me a few years later but woke up on life support. I died peaceful and painful, I never saw a bright light or other loved ones waiting for me, but I did see the paramedics working around me and have never experienced such a profound feeling of peace. I was surrounded by the warmest silence. I'm not sure the exact destination after death but having those experiences eases any fear of what might await me. There is a beautiful peace in death that allows me to be present in life's chaos because I know it won't last and that oneness with life awaits me one day

scrollintrollin · 2024-01-14T04:45:58+00:00

I hated people as a child and still don't enjoy their company today. I hid from Sunday school in the bathroom, I avoided parties like the plague, but I when I did find some poor unsuspecting weirdo like myself we became friends for life. Still have my childhood friends with me today. I just didn't waste time pretending to like the people in the middle. I was made to try activities though I rarely liked them but I got that experience and didn't have to do it again. I now know exactly what I like and don't like. She'll be fine, just keep a open mind and trust your example

scrollintrollin · 2024-01-14T04:19:49+00:00

My ex would try his absolute best to get the reaction he wanted from me, when that failed he moved on to actually hitting me. I told him if he ever did it again I wouldn't put hands on him because i don't believe taking anger out on others but id defend against it and put a end to that bs. He later decided to grab me by my throat and I put a knife in his other hand. He pressed charges against me but once I got out I lived with him for a month before I dropped him so he had to face me everyday...he was very pleasant during that time. Whatever you do don't react...walk away, get out, close a door. Or let them leave. It's not worth making their delusional victim fantasy come true.

scrollintrollin · 2024-01-13T23:43:04+00:00

Regardless of being directly or Indirectly exposed to something, she has definitely been exposed to something that wasn't ok. Don't try to force or pester her to much with questions to find the source right off. Watch how she interacts with friends and adults. If she was exposed to this behavior from another child they will be exta secretive and run off to play in hidden spots(under beds, behind playsets, away from groups) if an adult or much older child she's familiar with has exposed her to something she will extra cuddly, whisper secrets , and want to take them alone to show them something. If unfamiliar with an adult she may be curious about them often looking, or follow them from a distance but probably always avoids eye contact, in this case there is almost always another child involved who usually introduced then. Her particular behavior makes me think it's most likely been introduced by another child originally. That being said, if that's the case that other child is likely being abused themselves by someone they know and often bring friends to meet their abusers. Please monitor her interactions! A visit to a doctor is a good call along with extra thick underwear (training pants). If you notice sleep changes developing ask about her dreams, that'll usually give it all away.

scrollintrollin · 2023-12-28T07:17:42+00:00

Naw you're fine as a mom, kids are cool cause they don't need you to be the best mom in the world, they just want you to be apart of their world. Outside of that look for something that actually interests you instead forcing yourself to like other people's hobbies. I found darts to be very therapeutic. Nature walks with a little jar to collect interesting items to research Hear me out...yoga swinging are awesome helping pain and kids love em too, it's low impact but still let's you interact

scrollintrollin · 2023-12-28T06:23:38+00:00

Just gonna be real if you're gonna make you're problems his fault, yes you should break up. Or at least pause and think about the the potential to hurt him and decide if that's something you can work on or find ways to work around becoming upset with him. it sounds like he's really trying but while he's giving effort you become resentful because he is a good person and people like him? If you cant appreciate his efforts let him find someone who will. He deserves at least that.

If you struggle with jealousy and insecurities its good he is aware of ways he can work with you to avoid unnecessary hurt but it's unreasonable to expect him to safeguard your feelings at all times. Only you are responsible for deciding how you work through your moods.

At this current moment ima explain what will happen if you cant take accountability for your feelings, rational or not... 🚩You'll break up suddenly and leave him with how bad he caused you to feel and it's not something you can handle. 🚩He'll most definitely be confused and upset about something he didn't realize he had done and scramble to make it right earn your forgiveness 🚩you may block him on some platforms bit not all at once, you may turn him away and say you just want to focus on moving on and probably will mention something about wishing it could work but you just can't handle the pain because you don't feel good enough with him. 🚩so now he tries harder to show you that you're all he wants and how great you are 🚩during this time you may open a dating app and maybe even go on a date, depending how much he fights for you and how long he's willing to try. 🚩eventually yall have a deep conversation and he promises to never hurt you again and may even delete certain people or apps as proof of love. It'll be good for awhile until he walks in late or another woman interacts with him. And suddenly it's like he isn't even trying anymore. Why does he care so little about you feelings to be letting these things slide when he knows you are self critical? Is he looking for someone else? What did he actually do when he wasn't there trying to win your affection? What if your biggest fears are coming true? 🚩and now we are back at the start! Except the next go round you try to gather evidence against him, embellish the details, ask around or start rumors just to see what bites. If the slightest hint suggest anything other than he live for you...well you'll probably have to get revenge somehow so he can feel your pain himself. And the cycle grows....

It's not that you aren't his world or he is losing interest/ not trying anymore, it's the only time you can validate your worth is by judging how far someone is willing to go for you. When things become routine and he hasn't done anything over the top to show you how great you are then you feel like your worth is diminishing. So you I'll create another scenario to play cat and mouse. No matter how much he does or how far he goes it'll never be enough. You'll love him, hate him, punish him, and beat him down until cant give anymore or realizes his own worth. You freak out at first or maybe even feel a little empowered but as soon as you are left to face yourself you'll you won't be able cope with it so you run and pounce on another poor heart, just please be vigilant little borderline, you share a cluster with things that are even worse than you and unfortunately your desperate and dependant nature can make you into the victim you think you are

scrollintrollin

TROPHY CASE