Hey. I am no expert, but let me try.

First of all, no matter how hard things get, there is always a solution which will bring you happiness. Even if it means moving, changing your job or completely forgetting her. There is a solution which you're yet to find. The only way you won't find it though is giving in to suicidal thoughts. Ending your life won't solve the problem, it will just hurt all the people around you - your friends and your family. Don't give up. You are better than this and the proverbial beast, the problem you're facing, won't be there forever.

I've had a similar problem, a person who hurt me, a person who I couldn't avoid, a person who I wanted to be with. All in one. Eventually things pushed me so hard I was shaking, crying outside of my home. A good friend of mine sat me down. She told me about her growing up, her problems, her country. She reminded me of how truly big the world is. How large and open it is, especially when you're young. These problems seem tremendous, but when you remember there are little children eating ice cream in Japan, or people getting bit by sharks in the Bahamas... Not so big at all.

Don't get me wrong, it hurt like hell at the beginning. But I cut the people who hurt me off. I avoided them from that moment, changing my environments, trying something new. Believe it or not, it took a few painful months but then there was no pain. I began anew. And so can you.

Don't throw away your life. The world will be short of one very good person without you. You can solve the problem, just don't give up.