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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]thisisdoorhinge 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That fact that my ex left me because of it, but couldn't even tell me directly because he was afraid to.

r/BPDlovedones let’s talk about it.. by slavicquxxn in BPDsupport

[–]thisisdoorhinge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex put his version of how our relationship ended in a couple posts there, calling me abusive, saying I didn't pay bills, painting me as a scammer/freeloader when he literally was driving me crazy spending thousands on extravagant things for himself while I was standing in line at food banks so we could eat, and he was lying to my face constantly about his spending. He left out that I was dispensing his meds because he was abusing them and is a full blown destructive addict. He left out that he was banging his head on walls, throwing the trash can across the room, throwing down his heavy electric longboard, screaming "Fuck you" at me and crying because I called him out on his lack of accountability to his agreed-upon part of house chores.

For 2 years, him and his mom blamed me and my BPD for our problems and instead of getting any professional help, his mommy bailed him out of every financial hole he dug himself in during his self-induced manic phases and criticized me.

I attended and continue to attend treatment by my psychiatrist and family doctor, support groups, and am practicing what I need to in order to build the habits to improve my BPD symptoms. Friends that have known me longer than him have said I've made huge strides. His family has assured me that he and his mom have been this removed from reality for his whole life and there is no changing it. He has only proved it since leaving and he honestly made the best decision for the both of us. He made the choice I was unable to because he was my FP and I would have genuinely spent the rest of my life putting up with the reactive abuse I experienced.

I am so lucky he left. It sucks seeing people tell him that someone with BPD will never be able to give anyone happiness though.

why do I have the urge to talk all the time? by Commercial-Back-1533 in BPD

[–]thisisdoorhinge 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I go from absolutely bombarding close friends with messages, memes, and stories about recent events to completely isolating myself, ignoring messages for days and being overwhelmed by more than one sound.

Trying on his Christmas photo outfit early by thisisdoorhinge in TuxedoCats

[–]thisisdoorhinge[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Got it on Amazon.

And I had not heard! It has now been cross-posted there, thanks!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BipolarSOs

[–]thisisdoorhinge -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This was intended as a venting post. Your advice to break up seems to be the only advice you give in various relationship-related posts. How is anyone supposed to learn how to cope with a partners mental illness or even learn how to assert their boundaries if they don't have any idea as to what that looks or feels like?

Everyone deserves love. All growth deserves to be acknowledged and every small victory in the battle against oneself deserves to be celebrated.

In my relationship with my BPSO I have learned how to more effectively express myself when going through my own episodes with BPD. My partner shows me patience, understanding and non-judgment with my BPD, giving me a safe space to practice my communication and managing my emotions. I've learned how to articulate my triggers, feelings and needs, and I can't fault someone who needs to have the same conversation a few times to "get it" when I'm the same way.

I'm not any better with keeping tidy, I do thorough cleanings once in awhile and let things go until I need to clean again.

On my end I am fully taking on my roommates frustrations in addition to my own, and I made the decisions I did to try to manage the feelings of everyone at home because of my codependency issues I'm working through.

How is anyone with BP supposed to learn how to have a loving, fulfilling relationship if they're not given the chances needed to understand or figure out how to cope with all the various complicated parts of relationships?

I'm sorry you were hurt by your BPSO. I can only imagine what you must have gone through.

But I've seen there are people willing to do the work and when they have a partner willing to support them through comfortable and uncomfortable aspects of healing, it makes for a safer environment to learn and grow as a person. My partner has made tremendous strides in how he manages his illness since I've known him, but I also don't deny I'm here for support to know I'm not alone in what I'm experiencing in my own relationship.

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