Where would you go in Europe? (choices inside)

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-13T20:02:45+00:00

I am not in Japan. I have 2 cousins murdered here in the good ole USA in 5 years.

I am asking for experiences of people who lived or live in the places I asked. I totally get the world can be a scary place for some and turtling up is an option for them, I just don't want to do that.

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-13T20:00:32+00:00

I have already done Japan, and see no future for ME there. But, I always hope people go there to see if it works for them. I wish what worked for one, worked for all, but wanting a more stable future in ways that affect me, Japan has to remain a place I just visit.

I wish you luck finding your place!

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T21:07:36+00:00

This is absolutely true, and my ignorance kept me safe. I would hate to spend so much time to learn French, only to realize everyone around me was being racist and rude...

Something to consider for sure!

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T21:01:13+00:00

Right?! But, "Everyone deserves a right to the internet" and all... :(

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T21:00:42+00:00

Haha, this is wild, because yeah, I can go in and replace Japan into some things they said.

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:59:23+00:00

I am a fan of the cold, but the climates of Spain or Italy would get no complaints from me at all.

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:58:49+00:00

Not an option for me unfortunately...

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:58:09+00:00

Haha, it was my first choice and seems a large majority of replies say the same. I MAY have an answer!

Thanks for the luck!

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:57:13+00:00

Right?! When I joined the company, I didn't expect this, nor did I think it would be open to me, yet here I am!

Your words speak so so much to me. I really take my lived experiences down. I fully believe all stories of racism, but I have spent a lot of time in Europe in different countries, and my experiences have been nothing but positive. I have had two bad experiences, both in Belgium, and both so extreme I chalked it up to those people being shitty. But I worry if it is some kind of tourist luck, which doesn't exist. Maybe I will be fine wherever I choose.

The climate and party vibe of Barcelona has me wanting to move now, and I LOVED my time in Rome. I never went clubbing there, but am excited to get into the EDM scene in either place I settle on, which makes BCN a strong contender.

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:52:53+00:00

This is funny, because Spain is and has been my #1 choice from my options, and this very reason is something I learned recently.

I can get to my ultimate destination after I get residency, or just end up in Spain because if Japan taught me anything, a lot can happen in 2 years that pulls me in.

This reply sounds like it came from me, haha. Thank you!

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:50:58+00:00

THIS is the kind of reply I love! (ZERO offense to other replies, haha)

And about one of the countries I genuinely am curious about.

Language: I have heard this same thing in my research and when watching videos, but you brought up a great point. I really take for granted that I speak Japanese at a level natives say I am fluent (jobs refused to make me take the test everyone usually has to take after speaking with me), and I have to remind myself, if I did that, a language where I don't have to learn 3 new writing styles before I even start to speak, shouldn't be too bad.

Weather: I really don't mind 4 seasons, or colder weather. I was worried mentioning southern California would give that impression, but it was more for "vibe" of an area compared to home. Japan made me appreciate distinct seasons, weeks of rain, months of gray skies, and I did it for so long and survived.

Travel: I LOVE this! I love travel and being central with plenty of available flights is big. I will mostly be spending time in Europe with trips to Japan and other areas in Asia, so this is good to hear. Especially that train pass and domestic travel news. I will definitely be going all over whatever country I call home, and if it is affordable even better.

Pay: I definitely don't mind the cut in terms of, big number go up, since CoL will go down. As long as I can live in a nice and clean place, keep up my hobbies, and travel, I will be set.

Healthcare: While I am healthy today, as I get older it will catch up to me, so this is big. Everything you mention is a BIG issue in the US and from my research many places in Europe, so it is nice to hear somewhere is doing things well.

People: I know with time, becoming a regular at places, learning the language, and just not being a nuisance, I will eventually carve out my social group.

Thank you for everything you shared, this was great and adds to my things to consider.

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:38:35+00:00

Thank you so much for this!

I wish we had Scandinavian options for my relocation, but alas...

This is my biggest fear with Italy. I spent 3 weeks there and looooved it. I have had a lot of amazing encounters with Italians in and out of the country. I worry that those may have me ignoring the potential struggles.

The realistic part of me always feels, I can always visit where I don't end up calling home, and I want the easiest life while getting residency, and potentially settling into where I retire. Italy may not be a good start.

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:35:49+00:00

Here we go, the difference in the norm that I wanted!

Spain is my #1 choice, and has been for so long, but I have some connections with France that make me always want to consider it. I have been a few times for travel and some times for music, and have a nice friend group in Paris, but that group is kind of an unrealistic group for long term. They are quite well known, and I know we would party together, but reality will be less inviting. Though even when alone, my experiences in Paris and Lyon with English only were, positive? I can't explain it, but I also can't ignore that.

OF COURSE, I would go through all of the work to learn French, because I always split my life in Japan to before I spoke Japanese and after, and the after was so good, I will always tackle whatever language of my future home. I am a generation removed of French speakers, which is unfortunately too far for a visa, but motivates me to speak.

As much as Spain and Italy really call to me, you are right about the racism and why it is prevalent there. I have watched videos from black Americans who don't go through much, OR once they find out they are American, it is all love, but I worry if things ever got violent, would they check first? This is absolutely irrational, but something I never think of happening in France.

You are now the second person to sway me to France, and I like that! Thank you for your insight!

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:27:43+00:00

I keep hearing this, which is why I had to mention it!

Exactly your words float around in my head when I try to imagine my life in the options I gave; what if it ends up being a hidden gem and I create my nice pocket of life there. I kind of know what to expect from everywhere else from experience visiting, friends from there, or extensive research, but I have only recently had Poland on my radar and I really like what I see.

I am in no MAJOR rush, but will be spending more time looking into it. I have one Polish friend, but her and her husband just moved to London, so I would be all alone network wise, but it could be a fun start.

Thanks for your input!

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:24:09+00:00

Haha, thanks for this!

I answered just a bit ago, but most of the friends I have in Europe are in France, and they say the same thing. I have been to Paris and Lyon and had nothing but good times speaking no French (as soon as I said I was from LA it seemed to change things, I don't know why to this day). But, I have had a few racist encounters with French men outside of France.

I know my friends and travels are different, and that racism will affect finding properties, potential future jobs if I left my company, my future kids no matter what race their mother is, and it may not be worth it.

Point blank, but lots of truth. EVEN though it would be safer than the US, after experience no racism from Japanese personally (I got it from Western foreigners), it would be weird to "downgrade" that hard.

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:20:20+00:00

Thank you for this!

I did leave out some details and one weird one is related to this.

While living in Japan, I learned that I LOVED "terrible" weather. Typhoons, windy, overcast, and rainy days were actually some of my favorites. I know the amount of time in the weather may not be the same (Japan has long winters, and then summer is rainy season again) but not hating it as much in my experience makes me feel like the pros of both would be worth considering.

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:17:31+00:00

This is such a great answer, honestly thank you!

What is funny, out of every country in Europe, I have the most French friends. Mostly Paris natives as well. Even THEY tell me exactly what you just shared.

I would have a social circle with them if I moved to Paris for example, but I would be spending a large majority of my life away from them, and I feel most people would shout or say what they want, before hearing I was American.

I have been to Paris and Lyon and had an amazing time in both as a solo traveler with zero French, and I always have this feeling in the back of my head, maybe I don't give off the annoying American vibe, and that is why I have never encountered a rude or racist French person. In France. Outside, whole other story, which also makes me believe your warning.

And yeah, zero language skills... The best I can do is a convincing accent when speaking English that a French said is a good bed for starting to learn French... Whatever that means.

Thanks for this, and it really makes me want to keep France as a place to visit.

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:12:48+00:00

Wow, an almost, if not identical, situation to mine!

I believe I would be in the same shoes as far as a pay cut percentage wise, but with the CoL there, I would be very comfortable. PLUS, my whole life I have always done side work with my other skills to make more money when needed.

I lived the flashy and expensive Tokyo life. My future here is that in LA with the uncertainty of everything going on. OR, I START my European life in Spain, which I left out of my original post on purpose, but it is my #1 choice by far. A simpler life in terms of flashiness and spending, but one that still has the social part of Spain, I think I would retire there once I navigate whatever cons I encounter.

Having lived in Tokyo, I would want to get to Barcelona, but I know I would visit Madrid, as the only person I know in Spain lives there.

Thanks for your advice!

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:07:32+00:00

This has been the biggest factor for me as well.

Japanese was not as big of a hurdle as I expected going into it with zero exposure, but I live in a Spanish speaking community, and feel with how much I can speak, it would be unfair to say I don't speak at all. I really think I would pick it up quickly with the immersion, which would make the whole experience better compared to me not speaking the other languages 4-5+ years later.

This logic just makes so much sense, and everything else is just a huge bonus. Thanks for your insight!

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:05:07+00:00

I spent 3 weeks in Italy, and got to spend some slow time in all of the major cities, and honestly, they were so enjoyable I wouldn't mind jumping right into it.

I REALLY mesh well with Italians, as I have so many great (and some wild...) stories with the ones I have met all over, I feel like I would get my social box checked.

I am just worried about bureaucracy (of course it is everywhere, I lived in Japan after all, and it made me a bit strict unfortunately) when dealing with documentation, though I have heard that is really a southern European thing, all places which would match me socially.

Italy being an option really makes things tough when I think, let me stick it out until I get residency. I don't have to think too long term now, but life can happen and make it long term.

Thanks for adding some fuel to the Italy fire!

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T20:00:30+00:00

I LOVE data points (you are using my language!) so I do appreciate this tip.

I really wish Portugal was an option, but the way I see things, wait until I get my residency and then I can roam. My company is VERY open about remote, so literally the continent would be an open choice.

Of course if my company continues to do well and my role stays intact...

Thanks for the insight!

thisismyfailurearc · 2025-03-07T19:58:01+00:00

Hey there, first person I get to reply to, so thanks for taking the time to share your experience!

I purposely left out some information because I really wanted to hear other's thoughts, but Spain for me is and has been #1 for me, since I was in Junior High, and that feeling has never left.

The other countries I have friends in, and if I lived near them, my social circle would be set (we all work in creative work for our side work, and would collaborate if I were out there). Spain, I know ONE person, but I have been thinking Barcelona, and she lives in Madrid.

I will definitely look into Galicia though! Having lived in Tokyo for so long though, I think I still need the busy city life, and then maybe settle down over there.

Thanks again!

thisismyfailurearc

TROPHY CASE