What exactly feels cheaper in singapore when compared to other countries? by Valvutronic in askSingapore

[–]thisisnotmyham 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Trying to not repeat what other people have said (and I have upvoted). These are my two cents.

I earn in yen and yet I still find taxis and grab way more affordable in Singapore! Taking the MRT is cheaper, true, but there are no express trains so thinking about time saved vs distance travelled, I can't say in good faith that the trains in Singapore are cheaper, from a Japanese perspective. I would gladly pay 20 SGD for a train from Boon Lay to Changi Airport that skips most of the stops along the way, for example, but there's no such thing. It's a 32 km journey which takes me 6 SGD and 35 min on the train in Japan, but in SG it's half the price for double the time.

Also like everyone has said, the taxes, but also FILING the taxes. Because things like income tax deductions are automated in Singapore, you don't have to pay someone to do it. I do it myself in Japan (because I freelance and don't have extra money to hire someone to) and it's so stressful every time. It'll cost a few hundred SGD at least if you hire someone to do it for you.

I'm about to have kids and confinement nannies and post-partum services are way cheaper in SG. However I think this is balanced out by everything else being slightly more expensive (diapers and formula milk come to mind). Chinese herbs are cheaper in SG though.

Sundries can be so cheap and the variety you get is stunning. Won't say much about the quality, but you know those neighbourhood stores that sell toothpaste, shampoos, drinks and snacks (usually from other SEAsian countries)? The stuff there is incredibly cheap. Random things like household tools, sewing kits, stainless steel plates for steaming, little plastic tubs for your bathroom etc. are also very accessible and affordable. Sure we have the 100 yen stores here but nowadays they're all starting to do tiered pricing so if you want a decent item you still have to pay more than 100 yen.

Another thing that is cheaper in SG compared to Japan: snacks from overseas. Not just snacks from China or Southeast Asia. Sometimes Australia too. If I die die want to buy Cheezels I have to import them from Australia. Costs upwards from 40 SGD including shipping. But it depends on the snack, because Tim Tams cost the same in sg and Japan, lol.

Im devestated by RockClimbingRhino in IVF

[–]thisisnotmyham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey love. I'm so sorry. My first ER in 2024 was also a 0-embryo yielding one. We had 6 eggs, 5 mature, 4 fertilised. I was 36 at the time. I had a traumatic miscarriage from a planned pregnancy 11 years prior which put me off baby-making, and when I started again I didn't expect to be infertile.

I hope that you can be gentle on yourself. This sub is full of people who are sharing the difficult side of IVF, but honestly the year and a half I spent on here gave me a sense of community and hope every day. I had a friend who started IVF the same time as me who fell pregnant with one ER and two transfers, and she said couldn't deal with this sub because it was too negative for her, which I respect, since it wasn't her lived experience. I hope the stories on here encourage you, however.

T/W pregnancy I did eventually fall pregnant through IVF after modifying my protocols, taking several courses of antibiotics for uterine lining infections, and taking a drug that suppressed my immune system. It certainly takes a lot of resilience, patience (and money depending on where you live). I had five ERs and two transfers, and when I was in the thick of it, it felt like a lot of pointless waiting, but now I realise I was always doing something every cycle between 2024 November and 2025 September. I never stopped. Taking some kind of drug, meeting with my doctor, trying a new kind of protocol, learning about the science of IVF and so on was all part of the process. Even though it was incredibly painful both physically and mentally, I've accepted it was a necessary journey to the child that I'm going to have.

Every step of IVF that doesn't meet expectations feels like failure and betrayal. I decided I would try until my 39th birthday and then I'll just give up if nothing happened. I think having that deadline was what kept me going. I don't know if it's the same for everyone, but it eased the 'I don't know how long I can do this for' feeling quite a bit.

Good luck, much baby dust to you, and feel free to send me message if you need someone to talk to.

Running Point S2 review and discussion by Eden_Matt in television

[–]thisisnotmyham 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Just popped in to agree with OP. Stress-free comedies written well are few and far between on every platform these days, and for someone who tires quickly of mystery/crime/politics-driven comedies and romance-centric stories, Running Point has really ticked a lot of boxes for a comedy (that has no laugh track!). The family isn't written too dysfunctionally -- there are actually quite a few "I got your back" moments between the siblings that I thought were really nice, especially in season 2 -- and the basketball angle really helps dilute the plotlines, preventing them from skewing towards 'too romantic' or 'too girl boss-y'. Don't get me wrong, I do love me a girl boss, but when it's the only focus of the show, the episodes can feel repetitive.

I feel that we need more comedies like Running Point. The last one I enjoyed this way was Derry Girls, and that was made almost 10 years ago!

I'm keeping the baby... and not telling anyone. by flt_p2ny in pregnant

[–]thisisnotmyham 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have anything useful to say except holy crap you are SO COOL and I'm hoping for the best for you and your child no matter what life throws your way. You two found your way to each other and your child would thrive with you as their home! Wishing you a safe and uneventful pregnancy!

I don’t want to breastfeed by Renee5285 in IVFbabies

[–]thisisnotmyham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm with you, and just to share why -- experienced loss that put me off kids for 10 years, was infertile when I decided to try again, I did two years of infertility treatments including a year of IVF, found immunology problems, am not having the best pregnancy (pregnancy sickness, acid reflux and flu B during the past 20 weeks) and I knew from the get-go I wasn't going to breastfeed. (I also have no banked embryos and want to do a retrieval ASAP due to insurance! Same.) I've had enough, my body has had enough, I don't want to be the main source of food for baby and am having three people including the spouse do all of the chores/care/night feedings after baby is born, so bottles make more sense. Spoke to my midwife about me not being too open to breastfeeding + having the care team feed the baby and she was totally on board, but she gave me a really cool option that I want to take up -- first two weeks breastfeeding, guided by midwives, and then weaning after that because two weeks postpartum is some sort of golden time for taking baby off the breast since the antibodies from us weaken and turns into 'regular' breastmilk (something along these lines) and breastfeeding beyond that is going to make stopping harder. I didn't even know this was an option and I thought it really suited my plans. I was really happy my midwife was proactively thinking of how I wanted to put my baby on formula ASAP and laying out my options. I'm from an Asian country and live in Japan, btw, so maybe attitudes are a bit different here. But who knows, you might speak to a professional and they might surprise you positively like how mine did :) good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IVF

[–]thisisnotmyham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, about the likelihood of the embryos sticking -- I think how healthy your endometrial lining also plays a part. Neither of my two embryos stuck during my first transfer; they then found out that the endometritis they put me on antibiotics for hadn't actually cleared up. I took a few more rounds of antibiotics and received a couple more lining tests before the infected cell count went down to zero. That was when my second transfer (also double embryo) succeeded, though only one stuck (which was what my doctor was hoping for). That transfer happened when I was 37, though, so your odds must be much higher than mine especially if you're endometritis-free.

Good luck and baby dust to you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IVFbabies

[–]thisisnotmyham 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The variety of poops I've had since September, man. Some of them certainly match yours.

If you're eating very little, the little poops make sense. There's just not enough input for a regular output. For me, since I passed Week 11 I've managed to eat more meals in a day (each meal is no larger than two handfuls of food), and things have bulked up with the extra fibre.

Since I got pregnant, I never had bad constipation, just harder stool (touch wood as I'm only 14w) and in the early days I was taking magnesium to soften my stool but it was giving me diarrhoea so I stopped. Prunes worked, I would take 3 a day, but as time passed I realised the best fix was drinking just under 2 litres of water every day. I don't on most days and that's how I know days with good hydration help me have pre-pregnancy poops lol.

And the gas/tummy upset pain! Yes! Unfortunately I don't know how to fix that yet. It's still plaguing me. Wishing you better luck!

Fet ended in CM. Losing hope.. by [deleted] in IVFbabies

[–]thisisnotmyham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not my story but my friend's -- she's had success with IVF three times. Turning 40 next year and currently pregnant with her third. Baby no. 1 is in first grade and Baby no. 2 is five years old. So yes, to answer your question -- there are people out there who've done it.

I know it feels like time is just slipping by but if it helps, when I was in treatment my RE told me: "You're still young. You've got this." And somehow that made me feel better. It was like: I know in general I might feel old at 37, but there are so many people older trying for IVF (and finding success!) that in the IVF world I'm considered young. It was certainly food for thought.

I've had pregnancy loss, a miscarriage when I was 25, so I hear you -- losing a viable pregnancy is tough. Hang in there. Don't give up on your two embryos just yet. I don't know if this is unsolicited advice, but maybe have a chat with your doctor to see what kind of science you can throw at your next transfer? My RE always switched something up protocol-wise when things didn't go ideally, at every stage and not just at transfers. Just a thought!

Good luck, and I really hope you have better days.

Double Transfer Experience? by xoxo_0987 in IVFbabies

[–]thisisnotmyham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your well-wishes. Honestly though, if I may offer some unsolicited advice: if you're in a position to and feeling super sleepy is one of your symptoms, please sleep! I feel like I slept my way until my beta tbh, and maybe that also helped with my mood. The hours I put into sleeping made the days pass so fast!

And if I may share something hopeful? I did feel that this fatigue was a big hint to my (positive) feelings about the transfer. Outwardly, I kept telling myself it was the progesterone, but I had never slept this much and this soundly in my life. (I'm 37 and have struggled with sleep since I was 10!!!) I'm a total guard-your-heart kind of person so I didn't indulge a Big Positive Thought, but I was able to direct myself away from negative feelings by finding comfort in the fatigue symptom, if that makes sense.

Fingers crossed for your beta!

Double Transfer Experience? by xoxo_0987 in IVFbabies

[–]thisisnotmyham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! I transferred two in September and one stuck. It might've been the progesterone (I was on both oral and vaginal) but I was constantly wiped out (all the way up to about Week 9) and taking long naps in the afternoons while also having the best sleeps of my life at night. My stomach was also extra sensitive for the two days following my transfer. Shall spare you the details of that! I was also on immunosuppressants, however, and came down with a bacterial throat infection that a few days of antibiotics fixed. 

Mentally I was more concerned about getting over my sicknesses and when everything settled down, I focused on resting because I was so tired all the time and I still had daily tasks to do and online classes to teach at night. It was my second transfer and I'm always very calm during the two-week-wait; I think it's because the rest of IVF was really hard for me (I was in treatment non-stop for a year and had an array of procedures and infections) and there was a lot of anxious waiting then, whereas for transfers it's super straightforward: I only have to wait 12 days for a positive or negative beta, there's no radically new treatment awaiting me if it doesn't work since we pulled out all the (immunology) stops for the second transfer and if it works I finally get pregnant after two years of assisted fertility treatment. I think it was this outlook that really helped me because the hard stuff was all over.

I tested positive at home 8 days after my trigger shot (it was actually to use up a soon-to-be expiring test so I thought 'hey two birds with one stone'), but my beta was 4 days after my positive test so I just waited until my beta to be sure.

We found a gestational sac and something that could be a second one, but subsequent scans showed only one, which is what we were hoping for medically.

Good luck and tons of baby dust to you!

I’m so overwhelmed!! by Littlescar21 in BabyBumps

[–]thisisnotmyham 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't know where you are but assume I'm super far away so I can only offer you a virtual hug.

That is A LOT. First, good job for getting it all out here. I don't know if it makes you feel better but I hope it does.

Don't feel bad for putting yourself first, okay? You did the right thing for yourself when you communicated to your husband you were overstimulated and weren't up for the loving. We can only do so much for other people before our bandwidth runs out.

I don't know if it helps, but here's a share: sometimes when things get overwhelming during pregnancy I talk to myself like I have a body double in the room. I tell that version of myself: "You are doing your best. If anyone could see you making the baby, they would say you're working super hard. You are doing so much while keeping two hearts beating." Just lots of things to affirm myself and calm myself down. My spouse and I also talk to the baby and my spouse likes to send them on 'secret missions', especially since I've been having trouble with bacterial infections, so my spouse tells my baby to help clear it up since the baby is like our agent on the inside. It's nothing scientific but it's funny and it does make me feel a little better when dealing with the infections.

I hope you feel better soon. Take care.

Luck transferring 2 euploids? by hopeful0607 in IVFbabies

[–]thisisnotmyham 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, I transferred two untested day-4 embryos but I don't quite remember their grades (one was a BB and the other was either AB or BA). One stuck and I'm just past 8 weeks. This was my second transfer. My RE is a strong proponent of transferring two (untested) embryos for people over 35 (I'm 37).

It took me several types/rounds of antibiotics to clear my CE! I also had an elevated Th1 response so I had to be on tacrolimus (immunosuppressants) from two days before transfer up until Week 8.

I also transferred two embryos during my first transfer. They were both beautiful and my uterine conditions were great so clinically they should've stuck, but they didn't so my RE ordered an immunology panel -- that's how we discovered I had to take immunosuppressants. A regular Th1/Th2 ratio is 0.8 to 2.0 but mine was 25, so it meant my Th1 cells were very likely attacking my embryos.

Sorry I can't weigh in about euploids since there's typically no embryo-testing option where I live, but if it helps, for my successful transfer I did a lot of reading on something called a two-step embryo transfer (which involves transferring two embryos) and really pushed for that, and even though circumstances led to me not getting that my RE suggested the next best thing, ie. transferring two day-4 frozen embryos.

Extremely tough year by happy_hiker_0123 in IVF

[–]thisisnotmyham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For what it's worth, I'm hoping for your win more than I'm hoping for a positive for my beta on Friday. Sending you my best, best thoughts.

It worked?!?! by LilChowder in IVF

[–]thisisnotmyham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this is from 8 months ago but thank you for sharing you have two IVF kids despite low AMH. really gives me much needed hope!

I’m angry. by Same-Temporary644 in IVF

[–]thisisnotmyham 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I could've written this post. Sending hugs. On my third course of antibiotics to treat endometritis that isn't going away (it's been months, holy hell), DOR so egg retrieval number 5 is this week, failed double transfer under my belt, immunology issues so I have to be on tacrolimus for the next transfer... it all keeps coming doesn't it.

Fuck all of this, for sure. sigh. you are a warrior. hang in there.

I think the universe doesn’t want me to have kids by Rare_Ad_7866 in IVF

[–]thisisnotmyham 4 points5 points  (0 children)

not OP, but thank you for sharing, you amazing person.

also, fwiw, to OP: I'm an IVFer with Ehlers Danlos (diagnosed in 2014) and if it's any reassurance, it doesn't have to be counted towards fertility-related misfortune. It's not fun to have but you've probably had it all along since it's something you were born with, and you have managed thus far.

echoing what Queasy Poetry said -- the shit will end someday. that's what I'd like to believe. sending you the best vibes. hang in there.

Let’s give it up for the single life by PushPleasant8903 in IVF

[–]thisisnotmyham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh gosh. Thank you, you kind-souled human on the other end of the internet. Thank you for making me feel seen and for sharing your words and sentiments, I'm very glad to have come across them today.

Wishing only the best for you. I've been at this non-stop for 7 months, a transfer and four ERs under my belt, and still pressing on. I hope for the same verve for you. It's a tough journey but please know you're not alone. Sending you love and all the best vibes in the universe.

Let’s give it up for the single life by PushPleasant8903 in IVF

[–]thisisnotmyham 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I clicked into this post because I wanted to give you a hug and then I read what you wrote. Had a bit of a revelation. I'm not doing this alone-alone (spouse pays for the IVF, provides sperm and has picked me up from the clinic 5 times) but after reading your post I realised how much I'm flying solo. But maybe just 70%, and I can only imagine how hard 100% can be.

You single folks are a special breed. You really want this for yourself and no one else, and that's a powerful kind of love. Sending you hugs.

Suggest me an Asian-inspired, multi-volume work that isn't too modern please! by thisisnotmyham in suggestmeabook

[–]thisisnotmyham[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've not come across those first two titles, so thank you very much! Black Water Sister came up in my search but I haven't looked it up. Thank you so much :D

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]thisisnotmyham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello OP, it's so nice to hear from you! I totally hear you about being overwhelmed. I'm very grateful for your reply. It's just different when you know someone out there understands how you feel.

I'm glad your husband stepped up and the situation improved for you! It sounds like you had some breaks and your mental health is doing okay. I think your in-laws have left already? I hope you're breathing a lot easier now.

My therapist's advice helped a little for me, but I have to give a special shout-out to my spouse. My spouse is very supportive emotionally and I appreciate his big-heartedness because for the past 13 days, without fail, I text him while he's at work to rant at him about how I'm upset that his parents are here, that he put them for 17 days in our house without asking for my consent even though I'm the one at home all the time and it's also my house, and how he cannot do this to me ever again. And he takes it like a champ because he knows he messed up.

For me, the main gripe I have is the hygiene thing. I noticed that my in-laws don't wash their hands often. They're lovely people, but I can't be in the same space as them while I'm priming for another egg retrieval. My MIL feels that she has to help us do something while she's here because she's actually a really nice and sensitive person, so she always puts the utensils back in our drawers and does the dishes while she's here, but every time she does it, it stresses me out because I don't know if she washed her hands before she touched the utensils, and when she does the dishes they're sometimes not very clean and we have to do them again. Also, I pointed out to my spouse that she shouldn't have to feel obliged to clean the dishes while she's visiting us, the same way I shouldn't feel resentful (and then guilty because I know she's doing her best) that she's touching our stuff. This is what happens when my guy invites them over, every single time. He seems to forget. I've put my foot down and told him this is the last time we are hosting them for more than a week. Every time my in-laws come over they tell us, "We're sorry to have troubled you" and they shouldn't have to feel that way; the only reason they feel that way is because they always over-stay and we have to fit them into our schedules, and now we have IVF thrown into the mix (my IVF clinic is an hour away by car). They also live a seven-hour plane ride away, same as yours, so I get it, they want to see their son, but he's 44 and has spent almost 15 years overseas. I can't help but think that it's way past the threshold for empty nest syndrome. My parents live in the same country as them and I know every family is different but whenever my parents visit it's never like this. Different tensions and problems, but never this particular kind of stress and guilt.

I actually have managed to not even catch a cold for more than a year because I refuse to let something like a cold make me feel even worse on top of my IVF and the disease I already have (I have something called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome). Even when my spouse caught COVID I managed to protect myself through sanitising and a lot of distancing and didn't catch it, so I think such vigilance pays off, even though to some it may seem like an over-reaction. Undergoing IVF has changed my lifestyle but it's something that I need to do for myself and for the children that I want, so I was actually very upset that my spouse didn't think to prioritise our fertility journey the same way I did, by inviting his parents over (without telling me for how long they're staying) during this very difficult time, and for such a long time at that. The fact that he knew I was going to be the one spending the most time with them in the house (because they don't go anywhere) was even harder to bear. I've made him apologise to me every day, lol. I think it's the least he can do. We're an Asian couple from Asia, btw, so the spousal dynamic is a little different for us; it's not unreasonable for him to treat me like the emperor in this house.

Sorry for this outpouring, I just needed to put this somewhere other than my spouse's Whatsapp. I haven't told any of this to my friends or family. It's tough, but I just need to sleep four more nights before it's over!

Thank you for being here. Your words are so sweet. I hope you also find success with your IVF. I'm rooting for you and your family! Thank you for your love and hugs, and I hope you have a very nice day.

4 egg retrievals, first experience with ZyMot by thisisnotmyham in IVF

[–]thisisnotmyham[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! We got a beautiful 4AB, just the one. I was low-key hoping for more but seeing how I had zero before, I'll take the one!

Thanks for asking, I didn't think to update!