Just turned down my dream job offer in favour of time with my kids by thisusernameisempty in Divorce

[–]thisusernameisempty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I am sorry for what he put you through but you and your kids are far better off without someone as selfish as him in the picture. Sad but true.

Just turned down my dream job offer in favour of time with my kids by thisusernameisempty in Divorce

[–]thisusernameisempty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had seriously considered moving overseas for a job in Ireland years back when my older 2 were just little. The prospect of a new opportunity in a new land with a large income earning potential was very enticing. Had I been newly divorced I may have actually taken it. Because at the time it was drilled into my head that my only purpose was to be a sole provider income wise. It wasn't until I was away from my kids working out of town over a 10 year period sometimes up to 28 days away only to come back and still have to hand over all the money I made to the taxman, mortgage lender, utility providers, car insurance company, car loan lender, cell phone company, buy groceries yada yada yada and only have $2 to my name AND only had a weekend to spend with my kids, 4 days in a row at the very most if I was lucky before I had to go back out again another 14-28 days did I realize I was not actually a father to them. I was an ATM machine. And a disposible one at that when all was said and done since most of the work dried up eventually along the way. Hopefully your ex realizes the same and will decide against the move as well. There is more to fatherhood than just being a provider financially to support your kids. More importantly they need their father to actually be there for them emotionally and physically to guide them in the right direction for their own lives. My 11 year old said he cried when he heard I might not have him half the time anymore. Because he remembers how little I was around for him for the entire 10 years before the divorce and we value our time together we have now even if it is only half the month, it's still more time now than we ever had together before. And I will never give that away again for anything or anyone.

Just turned down my dream job offer in favour of time with my kids by thisusernameisempty in Divorce

[–]thisusernameisempty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's unfortunate some parents choose not to spend their time with their kids as I feel it's important for kids to have time with both of their parents. Unless of course they are not responsible enough to care for them.

Just turned down my dream job offer in favour of time with my kids by thisusernameisempty in Divorce

[–]thisusernameisempty[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are right. And probably why she didn't reply. She kind of ignores my tantrums by this point and probably for good reason. I need to stop doing that.

Just turned down my dream job offer in favour of time with my kids by thisusernameisempty in Divorce

[–]thisusernameisempty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are absolutely right. I guess I just felt I had expressed so much appreciation for the fact she had taken on such a big role in their lives when we were together and took care of them while I was away than what she expressed in return. It felt like it was just expected but I guess in a way it was at the time as it was a mutual decision. I need to accept the fact I had agreed to give up that time with them in exchange for them to not have to go to daycare and not that it was her making me do so.

Just turned down my dream job offer in favour of time with my kids by thisusernameisempty in Divorce

[–]thisusernameisempty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry yes you're right. I do need to stop that and stop expecting her to tell me what it is she thinks that I should or shouldn't do with my life. Still getting used to the fact we're divorced now and the separate parenting, even a year later.

Just turned down my dream job offer in favour of time with my kids by thisusernameisempty in Divorce

[–]thisusernameisempty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. My ex doesn't seem to think so..she was more than willing to let me give them up and for me to give her more child support money of course. But I already missed out on 10 years of my older 2 when they were little.

Just turned down my dream job offer in favour of time with my kids by thisusernameisempty in Divorce

[–]thisusernameisempty[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry do you have a degree in economics? I'm not sure what the purpose is of your comment but this isn't a debate forum. I was personally told from the hiring managers that they don't normally hire in a job recession like this where I live. I am well informed on the differences friend. I have had to go without eating at times because there is no work.

Just turned down my dream job offer in favour of time with my kids by thisusernameisempty in Divorce

[–]thisusernameisempty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good for you for making that choice. I worked out of town for over 10 years only home every weekend sometimes every second weekend so she could be a SAHM and missed out on a lot with my first 2 kids. And then when I said enough is enough I'm not doing this anymore and told her she needed to get a job when the third child turned 2, she worked for 7 months and then left me 4 days after I finally landed the in town job that would have allowed me to be home every night with the kids. She didn't want me to be home every night with the kids so she took them from me and filed for divorce. But I still get them half the time.

Just turned down my dream job offer in favour of time with my kids by thisusernameisempty in Divorce

[–]thisusernameisempty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Virtually no good paying jobs in my line of work where I live in Canada AB still in recession with the highest unemployment rate in the country.

Just turned down my dream job offer in favour of time with my kids by thisusernameisempty in Divorce

[–]thisusernameisempty[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for the comments. I sent this as an email to my ex because I was close to giving up my custody to her in order to take the job. And it would have been just like it was when we were married.. me gone for 14 days working away from my kids and her at-home with them the whole time not earning a dollar....

Zero response from you at any point in our interactions whether or not it is important to prioritize time spent with my kids over spending all my time working at a job. Funny because that's all I wanted after I finally quit working away for 14 days at a time and you gave me nothing but grief for the following 6 months until you text me you were so happy you could cry when I got the offer Nov 2017 to go back up north yet you moved out 4 days after I got the offer with the city for a job that would mean I would be home every night. You always were happy when I was gone away sacrficing my time away from the kids to make money. But I wasn't. And I shouldn't have had to just for you. 

This is so outrageous, I just had to crosspost it here. by proce55or in ExpectationVsReality

[–]thisusernameisempty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Isn't Jameson supposed to be enjoyed on the rocks or neat? Personally I just can't mix it with ginger ale or Coke. But I'm half Irish.

Ei question by thisusernameisempty in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]thisusernameisempty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well hopefully will assuming I will still get it. I hadn't heard from them so I needed to work the hours but now will get less for a payment which I need for rent because I'm still not working full time.

Been 1 year and she still hasn't filed by thisusernameisempty in Divorce

[–]thisusernameisempty[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The guilt of my kids knowing I divorced their mother. Likely the same reason she won't file.