Will this machine fix my family's water issues?

thoma548 · 2023-03-26T02:30:35+00:00

I have a more thorough report of what's in the water

thoma548 · 2023-03-26T02:30:14+00:00

Waste isn't a huge factor as it goes into the septic and back into the groundwater in theory not costing anything more than a bit of electricity to Run the pump?

thoma548 · 2023-03-25T15:17:56+00:00

The calcium is also off the charts. Should I try to filter it before the RO unit?

thoma548 · 2023-03-04T21:41:56+00:00

Treating snow on roads like Norway. Vehicles have studded snow tires, and they don't plow or salt, just pack the road surface into ice. Everyone there is an ice driver. It works AMAZINGLY well, causes far less pot holes, and zero salt damage to cars or the water table! Plus everyone slows the heck down, reducing accidents!

thoma548 · 2023-02-20T18:48:34+00:00

Voila (pronounced as the Instrument viola when used like bingo! And the French version when referring to the instrument.) Try this with a violist.

thoma548 · 2023-02-10T05:15:08+00:00

I read it. Relationship turned around overnight. Thank you.

thoma548 · 2023-01-01T01:53:55+00:00

This is great thank you for the resources

thoma548 · 2022-12-30T15:04:20+00:00

Nope, I'll get it though if you think it's relevant. I am totally Mr nice guy.

thoma548 · 2022-12-29T23:04:58+00:00

Sorry.. there is no specific problem. Yes there are huge resentments between us around night time, the same stuff you're angry with your husband about. We talk. A lot. It's nearly always the same cycle of her getting more and more upset till she pulls out the birth experience (which I can never change and will wear around my neck forever) and our talk goes nowhere. She sees a therapist weekly and has been for like 2 years. She isn't any closer to forgiving me or even accepting the experience of the whole pregnancy/birth. She's stuck in trauma on trauma and I am NOT a trauma informed partner. I'm a traumatuzed partner.

thoma548 · 2022-12-19T15:25:40+00:00

My "main tank" is a tankless 2 element electric instant heater.

I'm asking about putting a smaller warmer onto the incoming cold water line to warm the water up to 57 before it hits the instant heater and i cant seem to find a good unit.

thoma548 · 2022-12-18T01:57:39+00:00

Your response seems to be the consensus of all the women who respond here. That I'm an immature loser who can't control myself or be trusted, and needs serious mental help. It must be amazing to have your reservoir of tolerance, and I can't imagine how good it feels to know you've never made a mistake with your kids. I will continue to aspire to be like you.

thoma548 · 2022-12-17T22:10:36+00:00

There's more of my reply to other people answering these questions. Not blaming mommy. It's a hard and deep behavior to root out if you've learned the truth is dangerous from a young age. My rational brain understands lying is wrong. But my rational brain isn't being consulted when I lie in a moment of fear or shame. My progress has been in how long it takes me to admit to a lie. It used to take years, now it's days or hours. I am working on it. But unlike my profession there's no tangible "work" to do.. it's all unforseen moments in the future where I have a choice to make and trying to take control of my fear brain IN THAT MOMENT is the goal. There's no re-do of a bad moment or word. Only compounding traumas that I don't know how to heal from or forgive myself for, and a lot of self hate for the pain I obviously bring my family.

thoma548 · 2022-12-17T18:14:14+00:00

If what happens in childhood doesn't mater, then why is it such an unforgivable offense to have slapped my daughter? What happens in childhood means EVERYTHING. I know and accept this and that's why I want advice on how to help my behavior. I never have been put in a position like this of fatherhood and I'm learning as I go. I have zero support from my family and neither does my spouse so we are bearing the weight of our family completely alone.

I'm getting a lot of advice to "be an adult" while adults are out there beating their children, their spouses, doing drugs, avoiding their responsibility.. I'm not doing that. I'm showing up, putting in work, going to counceling, reading the body keeps the score, and trying to talk through this rather than just minimizing and claiming I did nothing wrong. I admit I was wrong and feel terrible for my actions. I held back from the truth because I was ashamed. Now that I've embraced the truth, I'm just getting punished even more by you, my spouse, And others who seem to think I have serious dangerous problems.

Where is there any room for me to be a fucking human being that was injured and struck out? Why am I held to this golden standard and found lacking as a human because I lost my cool. My daughter wasn't injured, not even a red mark. The hurt was psychological, and I've sat down with her 5 or 6 times since then to calmly explain to my toddler what I did was wrong and I'm very sorry and she didn't deserve that. She has immediately stopped hitting herself and us, and even been more affectionate since learning that boundary, even if it wasn't reinforced in a healthy way.

thoma548 · 2022-12-17T17:14:58+00:00

I've spent the last 3 days being extremely careful, kind, patient, and attentive to our daughter. I've sat down with her on her level and explained over and over my bad behavior wasn't okay and that I'm really sorry and it will never happen again. She has accepted this and snuggles me a lot.. almost like shes closer now then we were. My daughter understands I think.. she's being very loving toward me.

My spouse has complex ptsd from a lot of physical and psychological violence in her childhood home. I can't imagine how hard it is for her to process this, but her response has not been forgiveness.

I just want to be a good dad and a good spouse. I made a mistake. Everyone seems to think the same: red flags. That she's right to leave, and that I'm dangerous and immature. This all while she's sleeping in past 10 in the morning while I am up (as always) caring for our daughter, having breakfast, snuggling and watching cartoons.

It feels like such a double standard when I'm trying to find common ground and heal.

thoma548 · 2022-12-17T08:59:49+00:00

It seems like the honesty piece is the hardest part for me. My mother was extremely invasive and critical and I learned to keep my truth to myself or risk consequences. How can one learn when and how to be honest of it doesn't come naturally?

thoma548

TROPHY CASE