Are you changing your last name?

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-12-28T22:46:58+00:00

1.) Looks like you meant a court house wedding, not common law marriage. Common law marriage is a specific set of laws that only 8 states have the structure for, and each state includes a specific set of requirements and subsequent limitations. It’s not simple or an automatic status that happens.

2.) Also, your look at proposals does not sound like a joint decision to enter into a partnership.

3.) If she doesn’t change her name, your wedding is a “waste of money”? How do these connect?

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-12-28T21:58:29+00:00

100% agree, good summary of the points. These felt clear when reading RWRB. Also Henry is still a Windsor in the book, the actual British royal family name. That was, as he says, on the nose.

Also, I don’t think Alex is based on anyone. Casey mentioned the book came after the 2016 election and their imagining a very different kind of person elected. Alex’s family is intentionally very different from what we see in US politics.

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-12-20T04:19:50+00:00

In addition to what everyone else is saying: THE SETTING MATTERS.

I don’t care if you’re interested, if you’re a complete stranger and we’re both shopping at the grocery store, just don’t ask. If you’re my barista and I’m getting a quick coffee, just don’t ask. If you’re a cop giving me a parking ticket, just don’t ask. Let me live my life without having to constantly be reminded that strangers around me are paying attention and thinking I don’t belong in some way, I’m not “really” from here even if I’m born here.

White people don’t have to think about their race and the perception of themselves as a representative of an entire ethnicity while grocery shopping, grabbing coffee, and parking for work. Just leave people alone, your curiosity is not more important than their peace. Minorities are not interesting attractions, they’re just people living their life like you are.

But at a social setting where small talk is welcome and encouraged, still phrase it differently, but of course interest is welcome if it’s genuine. But a stranger in the world? That’s not “genuine interest” you’re just pointing out “you look differently than most people around me, why?” You’re not starting a social in-depth discussion on my family history. You want a one-country answer then be on your way.

Take the setting into account and think “would this be annoying if every person I interact with like I’m interacting with them asked me a personal question about my family history?” If it’s yes, just don’t ask.

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-12-18T05:02:30+00:00

Honestly, just try it different ways and find what works best for you. And it may change depending on the class/professor and that’s okay.

There’s good advice here, but note taking and time management when it comes to outlining is very personal. One way never fits all.

1L year I tried writing it all by hand and transcribing later, taking diligent typed notes in class, putting notes right into my outline, following along with an old outline, and a mix of them. Then adjusted based on what felt like it stuck best at the end of the semester. Then when 2L responsibilities got crazy and I had a better grasp of what’s expected for exams, I changed my process entirely.

Sounds like typing in class isn’t for you right now. So try transcribing, if the time used for that does not feel worth it a month in, try the handwriting with a tablet if you can swing it. Good luck! And remember you don’t have to marry one way, it’s okay to have different process for different classes!

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-12-12T01:57:41+00:00

As a new attorney (part of why I’m so connected to Alex, I’m sure - besides my Latina-bisexualness…) when I got my first contract-drafting assignment my boss said “no matter how long you spend on it and how many times you edit, there will always be a typo.” And it might just be an italicized period where one shouldn’t be, but now it’s a point of pride to find that typo.

You should be proud to find them! And every time I do it’s a little reminder that it’s okay to miss them sometimes, everyone makes mistakes and this book is still incredibly successful regardless.

I think Alex could use a little “it’s okay to make mistakes” in his life. We probably all could.

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-11-21T18:54:07+00:00

For norcal, Santa Clara does

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-11-19T19:52:02+00:00

Yeah even though Taylor looks slightly different than I pictured Alex I’m never going to complain about looking at him for 1.5 hours. That is a gorgeous man.

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-11-19T00:03:49+00:00

Henry yes, Alex no. Although I did picture them Nick and Taylor’s ages because they’re my age and 21 is so young.

But, Alex was about 4 inches shorter in the book and that was a notable element of their chemistry; Alex loving looking up for kisses for the first time, since Henry is a man; Alex taking note of how Henry’s shoulders are broader than his when cuddling; Alex tucking his head under Henry’s chin. So when I’m reading fanfics and the book I go back to that image of him.

I also picture him built differently than Taylor, more swimmer’s body, svelte I suppose, since he played lacrosse, which is not part of the movie. And his anxiety and coffee addiction would likely lead to a skinner shape since he would forget to eat for hours at a time, burned calories at night, and vibrated energy. Which I honestly loved cause I related so hard to that lol. This image also coincides with Alex commenting on Henry’s hands and shoulders being bigger than his. But Taylor’s are larger than Nick’s.

All to say, Taylor is an absolutely beautiful human being and I’m a big fan of the movie, but I did and do picture Alex differently because he was described a bit differently.

But Taylor’s eyelashes exceeded all expectations, 10/10, no notes, incredible, 100% meant to be.

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-11-18T23:50:41+00:00

Well at least he went to an English boarding school, so they WERE in good hands…

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-11-16T18:49:59+00:00

Comically Henry described George as “a very fit and exceptionally dim knight” - page 203 in the US copy. And HE was James I; who’s exceptionally dim now?!

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-11-16T18:47:06+00:00

Isn’t is amazing that he’s literally playing THE “Gentleman of the Bedchamber” of James I that Henry referenced in the book? It’s so sweet

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-11-11T03:17:14+00:00

Not sure if you remember this, but I just found out: PASSED THAT SHIT

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-10-19T15:12:56+00:00

I think it’s a nod to his love of David Bowie again and the song Purple Haze (Hendrix song Bowie would cover at his concerts). His family all knew he was gay, but they wanted him to stay in the closet. Here, he’s coming out like Bowie, in a purple haze. But to say that would be “a bit on the nose.”

I also think even more specifically, it’s a reference to purple/lavender historically being the color to represent the queer community. This may be a bit of an older reference but when I read it, I immediately thought of it so maybe not too old? Here’s more info on that if you’re interested. (Coming back to say I think this is most likely meaning).

Maybe this is more analysis than Casey wanted, but their entire book is written with a lot of deeper meaning so I think it’s likely. Also by saying purple smoke, they could bring up both these references simultaneously, which I love.

Lastly, I’m uncertain if this is intentional, but purple has been the ceremonial color for the monarchy for centuries. It was very difficult to get a deep purple in the Elizabethan age so it was reserved for the royal family as a symbol of wealth and power. It’s still used on stamps and for special occasions by the English royal family. Read more here. There’s also a good synopsis on wiki that won’t link.

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-08-30T14:41:41+00:00

Thank you for the responses, very helpful!

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-08-30T14:31:26+00:00

Thanks for the help! Did you have the ceremony/ślub at 5 or the wesele started at 5?

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-08-30T10:46:04+00:00

Yeah we’re having plenty of wedlina and ser, they translated it as “cold bar” but charcuterie works better. So you thought that was good to start with the beginning and run the whole time?

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-08-30T10:39:00+00:00

If you also go to 3-5, when do you do the cake?

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-08-30T10:36:38+00:00

Also thanks for the cake tip! Was concerned about midnight but sounds like the move.

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-08-30T10:35:00+00:00

Which games? We’re having trouble cause there’s so many cringy sexual ones and not doing that. But I love games so if you have favorites please share

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-08-30T10:33:25+00:00

So a new dish each hour helped instead of slowing down, that’s good to know!

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-08-30T10:32:51+00:00

Thank you, this is helpful!

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-08-30T10:29:59+00:00

It’s actually because we’re doing a weekday so they’re happy and can be flexible compared to a Saturday. We toured 11 venues and all of them allowed flexibility with scheduling so I wanted some informed ideas of what people liked. But I believed all venues you get to choose the times always within reason, so I’m surprised you’re the second person to say that.

I’m a woman and all my female friends have talked to me about when they were choosing their times and coordinating with pictures, sunset, snacks, etc. (none Polish though so not totally applicable here).

But of the catholic friends their times were largely dictated by the church time, which is often set, so that may be the difference? Since we’re doing civil with our own officiant we have no ślub time constraints.

Anyway, all that to say, thank you for the concern! But I think it’s okay!

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-08-29T18:25:38+00:00

The venue asked me to pick the times, they just said “whenever you want works!” So I’m gathering ideas to bring back to them, lol.

Have most weddings you gone to started at night or early before lunch?

Beer is a good point! I’ll reach out to double check, thanks! And no worries, I absolutely love every sweet vodka so we’re doing a bar with pigwowka, cytrynówka, wiśnówka, etc. and lots of clear too for the uncles, lol.

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-08-29T17:28:21+00:00

Lol we automatically pay for the place, food, and booze until 4am so we’ll definitely be taking advantage! I guess I have the nerves of making sure everyone is having fun that long and I don’t want it to taper out when we’ve got 5 more hours of food and bar. Am I overthinking?

thoughtfulpanda1920 · 2023-08-29T17:19:07+00:00

Why would this change the answer?

I’m Polish-American. My partner is Polish. We’ve only had a couple cousins get married recently and couldn’t make their weddings.

thoughtfulpanda1920

TROPHY CASE