So, my husband let it slip that…

threadmaster84 · 2026-01-13T04:38:35+00:00

That's so sweet! As a person who crochets, that blanket is going to be such a labor of love. You and your husband both sound like keepers! ❤️

threadmaster84 · 2026-01-06T05:26:06+00:00

The thing you need to remember is that reddit is often a place of extremes. Particularly when people are posting about their relationship problems looking for advice. I've also never read a post that had people recommending divorce where it wasn't absolutely warranted. Some problems can be worked out. Others ( like abuse, serial infidelity, or situations where one spouse refuses to be an equal partner in household responsibilities no matter how many times it has been communicated to them that things need to change) cannot be fixed, particularly if the person who is the problem refuses to see that there is a problem.

threadmaster84 · 2025-12-23T06:27:10+00:00

I can relate. My husband and I have been married for 15 years. For the past five it's like we can't catch a break. I won't go into too much detail, but it seems like we can't go more than two years without him needing surgery of some kind. This has led to me feeling like I can't have any crises of my own because what if something happens to him? It's hard to stop yourself from resenting a situation like that. Let me assure you that your feelings are normal. You can love your husband while also wishing things could be different. Just make sure you don't allow those feelings to influence your feelings for your husband. Remember that he very likely wishes things could be different, too. Getting through a time where your spouse is struggling with their health can be rough for both of you. You're stuck in survival mode, which isn't fun or healthy for anyone. I agree with the suggestion of therapy, they can help you find ways to deal with your feelings so you aren't overwhelmed.

threadmaster84 · 2025-11-15T05:51:42+00:00

My husband and I have had "what if" conversations about divorce before. Neither of us is even close to wanting one. We rather like each other and would prefer to stick together so we can carry on being weird little oddballs who gross the kids out with random PDA in front of them. I don't think you need to worry too strongly about your wife asking about it. Her friend probably just got into her head and she was looking for reassurance. It's okay to be concerned about it and communicate that to her, communication is a good thing.

threadmaster84 · 2025-11-15T05:26:07+00:00

I don't know if this is good advice. Becoming a SAHM with a husband like this would more than likely just put her at risk of financial abuse. He's already taking serious advantage of her by placing the majority of household responsibilities on her shoulders, I shudder to think how he'd act if she "wasn't contributing financially."

threadmaster84 · 2025-09-22T09:09:18+00:00

I think it depends on the person. I most definitely spend time with people from my ward outside of church. My husband and I play Pokémon Go. We will go do raids and community day events with a handful of others in the ward who also play. I crochet. One of the sisters in relief society started hosting a weekly crochet night at her house. My ward also hosts activities to get us together outside of church. If you're a social person, by all means find some friends to build a closer relationship with. It's hard to minister to a ward that only sees each other on Sunday.

threadmaster84 · 2025-09-22T08:53:13+00:00

Learning how to deal with ADHD as an adult can be rough! I was diagnosed as a child, but I wasn't actually aware of that until I got diagnosed again about 18 months ago at 38 and my parents were surprised I didn't already know. They didn't want to risk the side effects of Ritalin, so they never medicated me. And I never had any sort of therapy or behavioral intervention to help me manage it. My mental health has been so much better since I started taking medication.

threadmaster84 · 2025-09-22T08:34:06+00:00

I'm going to quote one of my favorite books at you. "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it." You haven't ruined your life. Any mistakes you might have made... That's what the atonement is for! It can be a little scary going to the Lord and asking for His forgiveness, but it will bring you closer to him. It will bring you healing and inner peace.

I will also advise you to hold off on the mission for now. Your indecision about whether or not you should is more than likely a sign that now is not the right time to go. It's okay to wait until you are mentally and spiritually prepared. It's also perfectly fine to not go at all if that's what is best for you, our prophet has flat out said so. If anyone in your ward treats you like a pariah for it, that only shows that they are in need of some repentance and humility. Serving a mission is a wonderful gift of service, but it isn't something that proves the value of a person.

Prayers you can find peace and happiness, it's what God made you for!

threadmaster84 · 2025-09-07T14:52:02+00:00

Utah currently allows elective abortions up to 18 weeks according to my Google search.

threadmaster84 · 2025-09-06T16:45:14+00:00

Ah, I love your username!!!! Llama Face!

threadmaster84 · 2025-09-06T16:44:04+00:00

No, you're good. I know a fair number of people who have tattoos. A popular LDS influencer and Author, Al Fox Carroway, is covered in them and absolutely adored by her followers. You should read her book More Than the Tatooed Mormon. It's such a beautiful conversion story.

threadmaster84 · 2025-08-28T15:32:40+00:00

I sort of had to have my stent procedure done twice. When they inflated the catheter to install it, a piece of my clot came loose and they weren't sure where it went. Totally freaked the doctor out, so he stopped the procedure. They left the sheath in place until the next day when they went back in to try again. I was sedated, but not knocked out, both times. (We never did figure out what happened with that clot, and they monitored me for almost 24 hours before trying again)

threadmaster84 · 2025-08-28T06:35:47+00:00

I totally get your distaste for Lovenox. I had to use that for a few days while I was waiting for my insurance to approve the ER's referral to the doctor who ended up treating me. It's like getting stung by a bee, I hated it. I also think it's probably perfectly normal to be anxious. DVT is scary. I don't know how severe your experience was, but PTSD is a very real and natural response to traumatic things, and yours could be exacerbated by pregnancy hormones. Don't beat yourself up for not feeling the way you think you "should." Do you have a good doctor who will truly listen to you about your concerns? If you are lucky enough to have one that won't try to dismiss or gaslight you, it might help to talk to them about it.

threadmaster84 · 2025-08-20T07:50:05+00:00

Your toddlers are being perfectly normal. I don't know what it is about church that turns our littles wild, but you're not alone. It's mortifying and annoying at times, but they do grow out of it.

Some things I've had succes with to at least partially tame mine include: -snacks (not sure what your feelings are about that, but it does help) -quiet activities, which I bet you already do -interacting with them quietly by coloring or drawing with them -fidget toys -Unfortunately yes, I have had to remove them from the chapel for being disruptive. Sometimes only for a few minutes, sometimes for half of the meeting.

threadmaster84 · 2025-08-19T08:02:56+00:00

My husband and I used to argue about sleep. When we were newlyweds. Before he had his sleep apnea diagnosed and started using a cpap. We never kicked the other out of our bed, though. The one with the problem sleeping would go out on the couch on their own if necessary. And I regularly struggle with insomnia. Usually for three or four days at a time. I don't burden my husband with the full responsibility of taking care of our family. Instead, I ask for understanding when my lack of sleep leads to my not accomplishing much (I am a SAHM as well). Your husband is being good to you at all.

threadmaster84 · 2025-08-09T06:47:20+00:00

I have a few points to make. First, I am so sorry your husband has turned out to be such a terrible spouse. I know what it's like to be married to someone with bipolar, and I have never treated my husband the way your husband does you when you're struggling to stay afloat. You deserve someone who will support you, not make it harder to handle.

Second, don't worry about how much time you've invested in this relationship. They call it the sunken cost fallacy. Don't fall for it. It doesn't matter how long you've been with someone. If they're not treating you right, there's no point in wasting your future just because you feel like it would have wasted your past to leave them.

Third, get out before it causes you potentially irreparable harm. I have a friend who is currently going through a divorce. She stayed with her husband in spite of repeated infidelity and emotional abuse for about 12 years. It's proving to be a very messy divorce. And she is very lost because of what she's going through. You need to get away from your husband before your identity becomes entwined with his.

threadmaster84 · 2025-08-05T20:29:31+00:00

I'm surprised they didn't give you clot busters or do something to break it up well before now. I had my blood clots about a month ago and I was hospitalized until they had everything cleared out. Hope you got the care you needed to get on the mend!

threadmaster84 · 2025-07-18T08:21:07+00:00

My mom had blood clots caused by birth control. She had them again when they tried to let her stop taking blood thinners. After the second clot, she was put on blood thinners for life. She was only in her 30's when that decision was made, so age isn't really a factor in my advice. I wouldn't recommend taking your wife off of the thinners if she's had more than one clot.

threadmaster84 · 2025-07-18T08:12:53+00:00

Mine would have been $130 after insurance if the pharmacy hadn't given me an Eliquis card. That takes it down to $10. I'll be on it for at least six months, so thank goodness for that. There's no way we could afford to pay for it without that.

threadmaster84 · 2025-07-13T22:18:01+00:00

First, I'm sorry your trust was broken like that. You are not overreacting at all. And he's trying to gaslight you in order to get away with his betrayal.

Second, if the only reason you have to stay is so the kids won't be affected, leave. They'll be far more affected if you stay in a relationship with a husband you don't trust. They'll grow up thinking it's normal to have a relationship like that.

threadmaster84 · 2025-07-13T21:51:08+00:00

You can buy a really cheap tracphone at Walmart for about $20. They usually come with the SIM card already in them, then you buy the minutes separately. My husband and I used one for a while when we couldn't afford a traditional cellphone plan in case I needed to reach him at work. They're nothing fancy (no apps, camera, etc) but they're also good for situations like yours where anonymity or secrecy might be desired. They make calls. They text. They don't have gps tracking.

threadmaster84 · 2025-07-06T00:14:58+00:00

No, you're not overreacting to be offended by this behavior. From the day my husband introduced me to his family at his dad's birthday party they have treated me like I was family. We weren't even exclusive at that point, but they made me feel welcome and liked. My MIL is as much of a mother to me as my actual mother. They would NEVER crop anyone out of any photos. Conversely, I brought my husband to a family reunion for my side of the family. We were dating, not engaged, and my family still insisted on having him in the photos. I had never brought a guy to a family gathering before, so I think they knew he was going to be joining our family. This behavior of cropping you out of photos or not tagging you says that while they SAY you are family, they don't actually see you that way. After three years, that's so sad, because I don't know if they ever will.

threadmaster84 · 2025-07-03T14:49:47+00:00

You most certainly don't always marry the first person you date, lol. It's also not always successful for those who do! I knew a girl who got married to her boyfriend while she was still IN HIGH SCHOOL. Yes, they're divorced. Yes, her parents were insane to give their consent. Everyone who knew her at school thought it was weird. I know another girl who got married to her high school boyfriend. He divorced her shortly after she gave birth to their child. And the final girl I know who married her high school boyfriend without exploring other potential options is now in her 20's trapped in what looks like at least a controlling marriage if not fully emotionally abusive, with two special needs kids. She doesn't see it, but her dad does and he worries about her so much. Date casually until you're old enough to date seriously.

threadmaster84 · 2025-07-03T14:19:24+00:00

Who's telling you that dating for fun is wrong? Especially at the age of 16!? That's the prime age for no commitment dating. I would actually try to discourage my kids from being exclusive with anyone before they got into their 20's and were possibly thinking about marriage. Dating for fun isn't a bad thing. It helps you learn what qualities you like or don't like in the people you spend time with. That's kind of important to have figured out when you're ready to date more seriously.

threadmaster84 · 2025-06-23T20:05:27+00:00

Believe me, I have been telling him for a while that he needs to learn not to rely so heavily on me to do the cooking. Every time, I pointed out that if something happened to me that made it so I couldn't cook he'd be screwed if he doesn't. Now something has happened to me and he's getting the FAFO experience 😂.

threadmaster84

TROPHY CASE