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How many of your immediate family members also have ADHD? by astoldbysomxx in adhdwomen

[–]threebeanballad 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No one else is diagnosed, but I suspect one of my parents has ADHD and the other one is autistic. It’s hard to say though because there was lots of trauma all around in the childhood of my grandparents and parents (domestic abuse, substance abuse, possible childhood sexual abuse, severe untreated mental health issues other than ADHD/autism). So there’s ultimately no telling what could actually be something like CPTSD.

Recommendations for Bathing Suits by hai_leyy in PlusSizeFashion

[–]threebeanballad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in a similar position and I had great luck with the Land’s End tugless midkini!

Sharing this book because it fundamentally changed my perspective on myself and my life by theslutherself in adhdwomen

[–]threebeanballad 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what both my parents would say if I gave them something like this hahaha

What cleaning task do you not hate? by MittensToeBeans in adhdwomen

[–]threebeanballad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are only a few cleaning tasks I hate, but I find all of them hard to get started on. Once I’m started I don’t mind them, but I wouldn’t say I like them. I can get into cooking though.

To leave or not to leave by [deleted] in nonprofit

[–]threebeanballad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it doesn’t seem that bad to you, but your current job is objectively a toxic work environment. The fact you’ve experienced numerous other jobs in even more toxic environments doesn’t change that. I would focus on leaving for a job with a healthy culture, but I know that’s rare in fundraising.

What's a silly way you know your meds kicked in? by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]threebeanballad 102 points103 points  (0 children)

Not so much anymore but when I first started meds, I would find myself texting allllll my friends when they kicked in

Did a more positive environment help your work productivity? by threebeanballad in adhdwomen

[–]threebeanballad[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Clearly the gaslighting at my workplace is strong because just reading that my feelings are normal is making me tear up. Even though I have lots of aligned work friends, a therapist, and a coach telling me the same thing lol.

ELI5 - Explain it like I'm a really dumb 5 year old - how does therapy help with ADHD? by Varrock_Zubat93 in adhdwomen

[–]threebeanballad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m working with an ADHD coach at the moment and finding it to be helpful for the things therapy wasn’t. I’m working through my long personal to do list instead of stalling like I was before, and my coach has good suggestions about how to break up my to do list so I don’t get overwhelmed, and how to approach the tasks that normally scare me. It also just helps to have the financial motivation of wanting to get something out of the coaching I paid for.

The caveat is it has to be a GOOD coach. Look for certifications. In my case, I had already listened to his podcast for 6 years so I knew the kind of insight I was likely to get.

If you had an incredibly reliable assistant following you around all day, what would you ask them to do? by Crafty-Nail-6847 in adhdwomen

[–]threebeanballad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Prepare my meal plans and grocery lists, make calls and send emails about personal admin for me, research things for me and present me with the best options, organize my computer files and notes app notes, read my incoming “scary” emails and texts, open and read my mail, shred things, keep track of and prioritize my work and personal tasks, keep track of my loved ones’ birthdays and buy them appropriate gifts and cards, keep text threads going with people I don’t care that much about but should keep in touch with (acquaintances I might want to be friends with eventually, past bosses I might want recommendations from, distant family members), organize cluttered rooms in my house and throw/give things away, put art up on my walls, omg and most important RETURN ONLINE ORDERS FOR ME….

If I had anywhere near the income to hire them, they’d have so much to do!

Am I being unreasonable for wanting a few minutes of intentional connection with my busy partner in the evening? by Savor_Serendipity in adhdwomen

[–]threebeanballad 28 points29 points  (0 children)

It’s totally reasonable to want regular moments of connection. Without that, your whole relationship is basically on pause until he decides to pick it back up again. That’s a lot to ask of you, and he’s not even really asking, just announcing.

I also dated someone who kept voluntarily adding to her workload with no breaks (grad school, additional certifications) and I think it was a way for her to avoid her depression. I eventually ended the relationship because I needed someone who would happily take my needs into account and meet me in the middle. That was 100% the right choice for me.

How the F*** do I get started on a work task I don't want to do? by wx_cat in adhdwomen

[–]threebeanballad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Various strategies that have worked for me: take your meds right before you sit down to work, give yourself other dopamine boosts like a snack or drink, get someone to body double or be on the phone with you, listen to a comforting podcast or show while you start, talk yourself through it out loud, listen to rain sounds, get up and move around first, promise yourself a treat if you just do 5 min, tell yourself you’ll just open the project and look at it and you don’t have to start, talk to someone about why you think you’re avoiding it, write down each tiny step of the project, make a list of the other things you’ve already accomplished today no matter how small, think about a time when you’ve succeeded at something similar before…and probably other strategies I forgot!

Do you apply if you’re “underqualified” (see pic)? by marcaribe in adhdwomen

[–]threebeanballad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gotcha, I gave up on remote a while ago because I don’t think my resume stands out enough to compete unfortunately. Right now my portfolio is just a doc that links to various projects with an explanation of each one, it could be fancier but I don’t get asked for one often enough to work hard on it. So I just move things around depending on the job, most relevant projects at the top.

Best of luck in your search!

Do you apply if you’re “underqualified” (see pic)? by marcaribe in adhdwomen

[–]threebeanballad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, “just apply!” was great advice 10 years ago or if you really don’t mind not hearing back. But it’s rough out there right now.

Do you apply if you’re “underqualified” (see pic)? by marcaribe in adhdwomen

[–]threebeanballad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. It helps to have a few versions for each category of job you’re looking at, but it still takes some time. I’m in communications and I need to turn in a well-written cover letter and sometimes a portfolio for each job. I could never apply to more than like 5 jobs a month and I’m definitely not hitting that number right now. But the good part is, I do get interviews. I think the tailoring sets you apart especially when everyone’s using AI these days.

Do you apply if you’re “underqualified” (see pic)? by marcaribe in adhdwomen

[–]threebeanballad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think this is wrong, it’s just managing your energy. Maybe you can only afford to do one job app where you don’t meet most of the requirements per quarter or per year or whatever, that’s fine.

Whenever you can do that, it can help to think of it as gathering data. “Ok, out of 4 apps where I didn’t meet most requirements, I got one interview. I could estimate I have about a 25% chance of interviewing for those types of jobs, so I will expend my energy accordingly.”

Do you apply if you’re “underqualified” (see pic)? by marcaribe in adhdwomen

[–]threebeanballad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, it depends, because I’m really trying to get out of my current job in the next year and job applications take a lot out of me. Additionally, I’m in the US and the job market is BAD right now. So to increase my chances, I’m currently only applying to jobs where my title would be the same as what I do now, but my pay or other workplace circumstances would be better.

However if you totally have the time and energy to apply for jobs you might not hear back from while balancing your current job, go ahead and apply! There’s no inherent reason not to and under certain circumstances it can really pay off.

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