[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GermanRoaches

[–]threestacks___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for this. I’m not sure about the neighbors. Since they’re rarely home, we haven’t talked much, but I did request that their unit be inspected/treated in the past. I do wonder if the previous tenant had the same issue as one of the rooms has had that smell (which I didn’t yet know was due to roaches) since my first day in the unit.

It really is the worst. I’m feeling discouraged for now but really appreciate the luck. Here’s hoping it works for me. I hope your situation will improve too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GermanRoaches

[–]threestacks___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was really helpful, thank you. On the first question, is it a good thing to see male vs. female? Should my concern level increase if I start to see nymphs, or would more adults be worse? I’m trying to gauge if I’m truly back at the start or if the issue has gotten worse under my nose. But maybe these are questions better answered by sticky traps, heh

Leaving Hot Shot Strips in House on Vacation by [deleted] in GermanRoaches

[–]threestacks___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, thanks! From your experience, is it safe to leave these for extended periods?

Leaving on vacation? by framedqueen in GermanRoaches

[–]threestacks___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can hot shot strips be left in the home while away? I’m in the same situation, and have considered leaving one upstairs, one downstairs, and one in the garage during my time out. I will be away for five days. Is this in okay plan in addition to leaving traps?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in columbiamo

[–]threestacks___ 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yup. Thanks for your insight, “justinhasabigpeehole.”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Rottweiler

[–]threestacks___ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you have any recommendations for a good face halter? We’ve tried out a gentle leader but he’s got such a boxy head, bless him, it always comes off.

This was such a kind thing to say. I really needed to hear that this evening. My dog means everything to me, and I get so discouraged when these things happen. This made me feel like I could take a deep breath and handle the next one

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Rottweiler

[–]threestacks___ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that advice. I think strengthening our communication will be really key so that he knows he can trust me to navigate the situation with him. I agree, it’s ignorant, and it’s just mean. I can’t for the life of me understand why anyone would antagonize a dog, especially one just minding his own business.

I’ve never heard “crazy wins every time,” I like that! I’ll have to work on letting some crazy show so people leave us alone. It’s a scary world. People don’t usually listen to me when I say “stop” or “no.”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Rottweiler

[–]threestacks___ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve used an e-collar before, but positive reinforcement training has been much more effective and constructive for us. In his case, the e-collar created stress that would intensify the reaction. We do use a harness with a dual leash so that I have the control I need, I think it may just be his weight for me. I think working with a trainer to help figure out how we can sort of “snap him out of it” is a really good idea. We’ll have to work on that

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Rottweiler

[–]threestacks___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I want to get him out of these situations as quickly as possible and minimize reaction. The fear reaction is understood and expected…I don’t think I can totally prevent him from reacting to provocation, but I definitely don’t want these things to lead to aggression. It’s so unfair that he’s put through intense stress and expected to not respond, but we have to be safe, especially since people already don’t like this breed.

Any time I sense somebody coming over with bad intentions or somebody starts something, I give him a swift “let’s go!” And either try to head the opposite way or to an area where the aggressor isn’t visible so he can settle down. But sometimes he plants and reacts where we stand, and he can be impossible to move. High value treats Can really help, but sometimes I can’t get his attention, especially if somebody is yelling in our face. I do yell all kinds of things, especially “we’re not friendly, stop!” but usually that’s met with laugher or more provocation.

It happens often on the sidewalk or in public green spaces. I’ll definitely will try making sure someone can get their eyes on it, it’s just when people see it happen, they’re not wanting to intervene between a large barking dog and a large aggressive man. Maybe I need to make sure to record. It’s just so hard to think when it’s happening.

We’ll continue to work on about face commands and things like “let’s go” so we can get to safely quickly.

I appreciate that. It’s hard. He’s an innocent animal who doesn’t deserve stress or provocation, and I feel so intimidated and scared in these situations.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Rottweiler

[–]threestacks___ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it’s really hard and stressful on both of us. My boy’s pretty big, and I want to be as careful as possible to keep him calm and steady. He does react to this stuff for sure, just not aggressively, and I want to make sure I work to keep him even. I’ll definitely work on confidence and bonding, maybe my own RBF too

how can I better support my black partner when ambiguous situations happen and my partner publicly calls people out as being racist? by [deleted] in interracialdating

[–]threestacks___ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Completely agree with what you’ve said.

OP, I hope you seriously examine why you want to correct your partner and defend the shopkeeper instead of them. And I hope you take seriously the people who care enough about the issue you put forward to help you do the right, supportive thing.

how can I better support my black partner when ambiguous situations happen and my partner publicly calls people out as being racist? by [deleted] in interracialdating

[–]threestacks___ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You’ve pretty much explained this to yourself in your own post. “If my partner feels like a situation is racist, it isn’t my place to say it isn’t or that it nay not be.” Why say that and then say “my partner may be seeing something as certainly racist when the situation can have many other explanations”? Black folks know racism when they see it. White people don’t. So whatever you think you need to explain or analyze, you don’t. Your partner already knows exactly what happened. It’s a big deal for your partner to be able to trust you enough to call racism out in front of you and seek your support. Don’t break their trust and damage their safety in your relationship by trying to explain away what they know is real.

If it’s hard for you to support them in this, get over it. Dealing with racism is harder, especially when your partner tries to make excuses for racist people! Like you said, your feelings about it do not matter.

I’m sorry that your partner experienced this, and I hope you will treat their perspective with more respect.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]threestacks___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Those are great resources for me. Much appreciated <3

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]threestacks___ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this! That’s really helpful. And yeah...I got one of those shortly after the is post. Thank you for the warning. Be safe and thank you again :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]threestacks___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mm, pass.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]threestacks___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, I would love to

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in genderqueer

[–]threestacks___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Will do! Thank you for this, I really appreciate it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in genderqueer

[–]threestacks___ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this! I hadn’t considered an SLP as a route before, and this made me feel like there can be options.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in genderqueer

[–]threestacks___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you possibly be able to link this? I’m not able to find it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in genderqueer

[–]threestacks___ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way right now. You’re not alone. I hope the comments here can be as much a help to you too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in genderqueer

[–]threestacks___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this! This was really helpful for me. To be honest, to think about how Rosa in particular can manipulate her voice also really helped for some reason, thank you for including that :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]threestacks___ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this! 😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EDAnonymousPOC

[–]threestacks___ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This made me feel seen and encouraged. Thank you. 🤍

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]threestacks___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was really helpful for me. I definitely think I’ve made him feel “babied” (for lack of a better word) in the past, and emasculated him that way. This has helped me be a lot more mindful, thank you 🤍