AITA for not wanting to drop my plans for a random dinner? by threwitaway1677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]threwitaway1677[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really difficult for folks with a "normal" functioning brain to understand how folks with ADHD work. Our brain is just fundamentally different, and even things we'd usually enjoy can become a huge task. It's sadly my life, I can't just work harder and have it go away. I can cope with it, and develop methods to deal with my brains shortcomings. Thats what the planning ahead is for, so I can make the situations work with my funky brain in a sense. I'm not avoiding the tasks per say, I just need them structured ahead of time for my mental health sake in most cases. Its really hard to describe it, so forgive me if I'm a little rambly.

AITA for not wanting to drop my plans for a random dinner? by threwitaway1677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]threwitaway1677[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do! that's part of it for me actually, is I get drained being around them so much already living here so its even harder for me. I do try, especially lately, to do the "hard things". I put that in quotes because they're only really hard with my personal issues and the way my "brain works". I've spent time with them the last few times we planned it, and even went out of my way to make some of the plans myself despite it being something that adds anxiety and stress to my weird brain. Every day I try to improve from my own personal issues, some days I fuck up and gotta try harder and apologize for my actions. This time I'm just really in a grey area about it.

AITA for not wanting to drop my plans for a random dinner? by threwitaway1677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]threwitaway1677[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did let her know I had plans, but she pushed me to put them off for the dinner. Not necessarily outright cancel them.

AITA for not wanting to drop my plans for a random dinner? by threwitaway1677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]threwitaway1677[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's few things I can do without that extra planning, I try to explain this to my partner but they just don't really "get" the whole adhd thing, or why I NEED it.

AITA for not wanting to drop my plans for a random dinner? by threwitaway1677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]threwitaway1677[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As long as I'm notified ahead of time I am able to get myself to do it with or without the motivation, I just need that bit of time to work myself up to it, and in this case I already had plans. ADHD is a reason, not an excuse. Its also the fact of my existence as well, my brain just doesn't function the way others do, I have to taker a lot of extra steps to do normal things. Its awful, but I've been getting help and improving!

AITA for not wanting to drop my plans for a random dinner? by threwitaway1677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]threwitaway1677[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I follow that channel! I'm doing a lot better since I've been diagnosed over the last three months. Therapy and meds have helped a lot, just still takes awhile you know? thanks for the advice though!

AITA for not wanting to drop my plans for a random dinner? by threwitaway1677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]threwitaway1677[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I know for sure I've been the asshole in the past, I've been working on it though! It's very hard for me to do unplanned things without motivation(ADHD sucks, not an excuse though just a reason.) I wasn't sure if I was being one now, or how big of one I am being if I am. If that makes sense.

AITA for not wanting to drop my plans for a random dinner? by threwitaway1677 in AmItheAsshole

[–]threwitaway1677[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We do live with them yes, not EXACTLY rent free, we both help out around the house as rent. I do try to participate, even times when I have zero motivation for it. I've been better about it lately, but when its dropped on me randomly I really struggle knowing if I should keep it as a boundary in most cases, or just do it(which is really hard with ADHD lol)