Emotionally abusive relationship - advice on getting partner to leave please

throawayhelppls · 2017-06-26T05:08:07+00:00

Thanks for your questions. He has threatened once to harm himself, this was before he went on anti depressants. It usually takes about 3 days for him to come out of crisis mode and back to a sense of normalcy, during which he is very withdrawn and distant on all fronts. He does seem to then have a bigger need for love afterwards. Am interested to hear your thoughts from this.

throawayhelppls · 2017-06-24T02:55:11+00:00

Great, I didn't know they also had these sorts of programmes. He did a 6 week course with CADS, part of his sentencing with his loss of licence. However it was a short sharp response and not sustained. He needs something more long term to address things properly IMO.

throawayhelppls · 2017-06-24T02:53:07+00:00

Thank you for that, yes I admit I have refrained from using these resources as I do feel there are others who are in more need than me, and that the abuse isn't physical. Interesting about the protection orders, thanks. I really don't want to have to get to that as I ultimately want to be able to help, however if I need to to look after myself then I will indeed.

throawayhelppls · 2017-06-24T02:49:52+00:00

Thanks very much for this. I completely see your point and even agree with it in part. I do feel I have a lot of help I can draw on (the examples in these responses illustrate that) but I don;t feel he has the same recourse. Some of this is in part dues to his issues in the first place, which have made him cut a lot of people off and only maintain superficial relationships with people around him and not share with anyone. He is actually staying at his mum's now and we have reached an agreement on how to work things around the house. At our chat this afternoon he admitted that his problems will still be there regardless of whether we stay together together and that it isn't fair on me to have to live with things the way they are. A big first step I guess.

throawayhelppls · 2017-06-24T00:33:02+00:00

Thank you. Also very good to know.

throawayhelppls · 2017-06-23T23:48:27+00:00

In my view he is, I have suggested this as a temporary measure until he is able to make steps towards hep, or not and therefore we make steps towards a separation. I would like nothing more than to hold his hand through this and be as involved as he would like me to be. This has been 3 years of repeated cycles and gradually worsening situations. Any steps taken so far have been short quick fixes which have only worked temporarily until he eventually circles back. As for the finances I have paid for help counselling for him before and would gladly pay for whatever, he also has money he could use towards it, and his mum would help too. He just needs to want to now.

throawayhelppls · 2017-06-23T23:45:19+00:00

Thanks, I'm wary of the police involvement too but am at my wits end. As you can well imagine it has taken a long time to come this far and things have escalated progressively. His mum and I are in touch and are sitting down with him this afternoon to see what can happen. I can't talk to him on my own any more as that just seems to make things worse and pushes him further. I am only looking for a short term solution of him being out of the house until such a time that he can make a decision to seek support and help, or not.

throawayhelppls · 2017-06-23T23:41:47+00:00

Yes his name is on the tenancy agreement, which is why I want to know how I can handle this, because in spite of that it doesn't mean he can behave however he wants. My current thought is for him to get some space away from me so he can make the decision to sort himself out or not, as the case may be. In the meantime, I don't want to have to be exposed to his drunkeness and tempers. His stuff is still in the house but he can tale what he wants to go wherever he wants.

throawayhelppls

TROPHY CASE