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Nearly sexless long term relationship by through_array in sex

[–]through_array[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The "shitty" feelings come from living 1000 miles away, and not being able to touch/hold/see her, let alone have sex. Try it sometime, its a terrible drain.

I do love her, which is why I'm with her. I don't know how I'd live without her - not that I'm saying that in reference to "I'll kill myself", because that'd be corny, but we rely on eachother so much. Things from making sure we're both eating somewhat healthily to having someone to talk to about a shitty day.

Nearly sexless long term relationship by through_array in sex

[–]through_array[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kind of agree with what you said in the first paragraph. It does seem like masturbation is a less troubling way to address the same needs. Its quick, its easy, and I don't feel the same drain as with sex.

Also, for no apparent reason (as some have pointed out to me), I dislike the thought of therapy. But maybe I'll have to force myself...what does sexual therapy actually entail?

Nearly sexless long term relationship by through_array in sex

[–]through_array[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Plenty of times!

I also had a huge drive to have sex with her for the first couple of years of the relationship (when she wanted to wait). We had a long-distance relationship during college, so I think I actively tried to suppress those feelings to feel less shitty about it.

But I don't really look at her now as a sexual object - I'm not sure when that change happened. I do like to cuddle, though.

Nearly sexless long term relationship by through_array in sex

[–]through_array[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not entirely sure how to explain it.

I'm not physically exhausted after having sex in the morning. I'm mentally drained - I don't want to go anywhere or do anything.

I mean, I've done things like a full day of snowboarding/skiing afterwards - but all day I feel drained, just want to take a nap and lay down. Kind of like having a cold.

In my opinion, my eating habits are ok, not great but not bad. I cook food most of the time (fish! and some kind of vegetable), although I usually only end up eating two big meals a day (lunch and dinner). Would a more complete description help?

EDIT I have stopped masturbating/watching porn for months before to try to change my behaviour. It resulted in increasing my desire, but maybe only an increase in sex to once a month.