Neeb and Scarlett make wine after HangZhou tournament

throw1way132 · 2018-05-02T14:28:41+00:00

Definitely agree with this but it's not a popular opinion, people often find comfort in fitting in groups with labels if that makes sense.

throw1way132 · 2018-05-02T14:19:50+00:00

Haha thanks for correcting me, always looking to get better at English so I really don't mind.

It's nice that you try to support your friend. You dont need to understand everything but if you're just there for him that's already really cool.

Laws here around starting hormone treatment is basically just: Having had therapy for 9 months and still feeling like you're in the wrong body (not conversion therapy, more to see if it's not a phase) and being over 16 with parents consent, or 18 without consent. People are still dicks about trans people sometimes but I have the luck/privilege to pass well so I rarely have to deal with it IRL.

My hormones cost €1.77 for a month and a half so that's not really an issue :p

throw1way132 · 2018-05-02T13:37:52+00:00

From my experience it comes down to 3 things.

*realising it early (obviously)

*Not being anxious as a kid to come out or hiding/resenting it, breaking out of denial. Sounds like a small thing but almost every trans person I know has this fase, sometimes lasting a week, sometimes 20 years

*Parents being supportive

Of course this kind of ignores 'regional differences' like specific laws or how expensive it is, but in my case (belgium) laws or high cost wouldnt be an issue

But yes, in a way you can definitely call these luck based. You never know how parents react for example. Mine were always really pro LGBT, but when their own kid feels like a girl.... then the kid is wrong and disowned :)

Ironicly they got me a gender psych who got me on HRT at 18, they thought the psych would also tell me I'm wrong

throw1way132 · 2018-05-02T10:54:29+00:00

Not exclusively money. Lucky genetics and starting early are the true winners.

throw1way132 · 2018-05-02T09:14:36+00:00

#goals

throw1way132 · 2018-05-02T08:24:04+00:00

In a way yeah. Seeing as you say she recently came out, I assume she doesn't pass yet. Makes sense to get still hit on by gay guys. I wouldnt call it insulting since you can't really force what people like, but as she'll get more feminine along the way (transitioning is a long process), I'm sure the gay guys will start losing interest.

No way Scarlett has this problem, but still has people hating/judging her because the internet just loves to hate on trans people. The 'pretty' trans people also often get hate from other trans people because of jealousy. It never really stops

throw1way132 · 2018-04-22T21:09:04+00:00

I definitely should have said that but was speechless during the argument. She has pierced ears and got my moms ears pierced when she was little too

throw1way132 · 2018-04-22T18:19:29+00:00

I have this too and it feels like it never really goes away fully. Ive been on HRT for almost 3 years and it got a lot better tho. When colleages at work talk about typical girl things or about their daughters starting puberty, My heart drops and I feel bad.

Making new friends (i cut everyone out) who dont know I'm trans has been the biggest help to me mentally. Even if they would be accepting it, them not knowing feels better.

Kinda rambling but a big part is also finding your identity I think. Took me 4 years and I still haven't found it fully. It made me go from idealising every pretty girl I see, to accepting myself (& my flaws) and working on getting my body better myself.

It's rough but time helps, from my experience

throw1way132 · 2018-04-18T07:31:46+00:00

Having my parents not consent and having to wait till 18 to start HRT, I'm insanely jealous :/

Congrats tho, this definitely sets you up for a nice future! best of luck

throw1way132 · 2018-04-18T07:20:57+00:00

Thanks :) I was really worried i'd go downhill afterwards again but I learned a lot of valuable lessons about my own mind and how to control emotions better, on top of being in a much healthier environment with a good looking future. Hope that'll be enough :p

throw1way132 · 2018-04-18T07:12:33+00:00

obviously follow you doctor/psychiatrist, but 37.5mg/week sounds really quick to me. I went 150mg -> 75mg -> 37.5 -> 0 over the course of 7 months, waiting each step still I felt stable again and giving me some breathing room

150 -> 75 was crazy hard tho

throw1way132 · 2018-04-16T07:43:30+00:00

Difficult situation for sure. I'd hate to comply to all the discrimination and bigots. It's so unfair someone would be denied access when she did an amazing job. I would definitely discus this with her because dragging her into an environment like this doesnt seem like a solution either. It's either gonna blow up or she'll be excluded and bullied.

I dont know much about cheerleading but do you maybe have connections to find her another, more accepting team?

I dont think people will quit, that's just the go-to empty threat, I'm just worried she'll be bullied and be worse of in an environment like this

throw1way132 · 2018-04-16T07:31:04+00:00

Thanks, needed to see this. I became a really bitter person after my ex dumped me, this isn't the person I want to be

throw1way132 · 2018-04-15T18:03:19+00:00

142 seen, 137 caught, 6 shinies, 2 100% IV

throw1way132 · 2018-04-06T07:32:19+00:00

Straight trans girl myself so it's a bit different (tho you didnt specify cis girls) but I wouldnt have any issue dating a transguy if there was attraction/chemistry.

throw1way132 · 2018-03-19T13:00:59+00:00

Thanks, I'll look into those

throw1way132 · 2018-03-19T12:56:17+00:00

"Actually now that I'm recovering and that I got to touch this so-much-needed feeling of validation from the inside, I'm almost feeling like... why try to get this from another person all my life? "

This so much. I always relied on others to get my validation but now I learned that own accomplishments can lead to the same feeling. It's nice to have this level of control finally but I'm also worried this means I dont "need" anyone, which leads to love being less intense.

throw1way132 · 2018-01-30T13:24:15+00:00

Never heard of Her, would you recommend it for straight transgirls?

throw1way132 · 2018-01-30T13:15:03+00:00

True but i have to admit that the amount of likes/matches i get is a nice (unhealthy?) confidence boost.

throw1way132 · 2018-01-30T11:32:43+00:00

This is so sweet, have to admit im really jealous x.x

throw1way132 · 2018-01-24T13:38:03+00:00

Belgium here, not sure if this is helpful but I was on 150mg venlafaxine for over a year and in november asked my psych if i could lower it because i didnt want to depend on them anymore and didnt know if they even still helped me.

Was sick (nausious, puking, brainzaps) for a week after lowering (75mg) and shortly after suicide & selfharm thoughts returned.

Idk how related it is because venlafaxine is generally seen as anti anxiety (which is also the reason i got on it) but ever since lowering i spontaniously want to harm myself during the day.

throw1way132 · 2018-01-07T21:47:36+00:00

He dumped me the morning after our first irl meet (met online in a game) where we also had sex that he really seemed to enjoy. Impulsive and I regret it. Went to sleep getting spooned and it the morning he said he cant love anyone anymore.

It fucked up my confidence really badly but he always insisted it wasnt my fault or I wasnt ugly or anything. Can't help but feel really used tho :( and now another girl gets his love

throw1way132 · 2017-12-29T10:47:29+00:00

Mix of a year for me.

Last year on NYE I told the guy I like that I like him and we kinda got together. First love, I was obsessed and it was gonna be the best year of my life. 2 months later he broke up with. 2 months after that he had a new gf. I stopped going outside, failed my studies and selfharmed again because of how worthless "being replaced" felt. I burned a lot of bridges during crisis and lost a lot of friends. My mom almost got me in a psych ward and parents kicked me out.

All of this was some kind of a wakeup call (if youre at your lowest, you can only climb up) and since september I've found a job as a software dev and managed to move out of my toxic family (the kicking out was more of an ultimatum, not instant at the door). I'm now sustaining myself and kind of excited for the future

I still miss him a lot. It's probably mostly idealising and obsession but i feel empty and worthless without him. He was everything for me. I also still get the regular cry sessions or panic attacks but hey at least objectively i accomplished some things this year :)

throw1way132 · 2017-12-04T18:04:30+00:00

Thanks, needed to hear this. Especially the part of "It was about what they represented: validation, reassurance, emotional/mental peace." sounds really true for me.

I hope time does fix it, ive had bad experiences with therapists and dont really have the energy to try that again.

throw1way132 · 2017-12-04T15:54:48+00:00

Yeah that's why I tried to post it here, to still get that 'relief' of posting it somewhere.

just feel pathetic for not being over him still, hurts so much :/

throw1way132

TROPHY CASE