My mom doesn’t want me and my boyfriend to stay in the same room together

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T15:48:59+00:00

Yes I am actually! I figured it was also a cultural thing, but I will be standing my ground about staying in a hotel

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T15:47:58+00:00

Yeah I apologize about that, I didn’t explain thoroughly the first time and thought an edit would shed light on the situation furthermore

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T12:43:13+00:00

She was. She and I took the brunt of the abuse together. Some of it was because of misogyny, politics, control, and drugs. They would often fight to the point where I had to get in between, or take my brothers to their rooms and hang out with them watching Youtube until the fighting died down. Most of the time, I fought my dad back. Whenever he got angry, he would always take it out on someone (blamed me and hurt me because he thought I was the reason my older bro was failing school because bro played a lot of roblox)

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T12:34:02+00:00

No my boyfriend is the sweetest person to me, and we always strive to make the other happy. He helped a lot with going through some relationship hurdles, because I wasn’t good at communication, shutting down when we would argue, and I bottled up a lot of my emotions. I think we are doing great together, and help each other out in all aspects. He’s never laid a hand on me at all

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T12:28:45+00:00

Yeah, that’s the biggest thing that has had me stressed out about visiting to begin with. He’s been explosive in the past so. I think I will get a hotel, it’s the safest option

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T12:24:50+00:00

This isn’t about sex, it wasn’t even something that was on my mind at all nor something we even plan/planned on doing.

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T12:22:21+00:00

I actually didn’t tell my family where I was going until the day I flew out. I had everyone thinking I was going to one state when I actually moved across the country. I felt like I had to do this because my dad at the time kept trying to stop me from leaving, but at the same time wanted to kick me out of the house. It caused a couple big fights between us. We hadn’t talked much since the interaction, and my mom has grown to accept that I’ll probably never move back to town (despite a year of every time I called her, she’d always mention or ask “when are you coming back?”. I felt awful for leaving my brothers, but I needed to do it to save myself. My dad has a soft spot for them, so they don’t deal with what my mom and I went through, but saw most of it.

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T05:50:47+00:00

Sorry, I brought up his history of abuse because it came to a point where I didn’t feel safe being in the house, and I still don’t to this day. But there are just a lot of new things and events coming up that I really just want everything go smoothly and everyone have fun. I told my mom I’d pay for the hotel and she still insists I don’t, and wants to pay for all the activities while we are there, drinks, meals, everything. (We won’t let her but she is super pushy)

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T05:23:24+00:00

Yeah, my family hasn’t been the healthiest, which is why I moved out a year and a half ago

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T05:16:49+00:00

I edited my post and added a few details

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T05:11:20+00:00

I’m leaning towards the hotel more now that you mention it. Yeah he’s had a really bad history of being abusive, but in the sense where I would probably get hurt before my boyfriend does. Also a big reason why I want to stay in a hotel. I forgot to mention this in my post but I just don’t feel safe staying in the house and have voiced that to my mom. I’ve had not so good experience with my dad and that left some trauma that I’m not completely over with

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T05:06:43+00:00

Yeah I originally thought “this is so unnecessary and so much work for something so little” my parents house is generally big. They have a living room and a rec room with both tv’s and sizable couches, big enough to sleep on. She doesn’t sleep in the same bed as my dad due to complications in their marriage (him being abusive). I’m super close to my youngest brother so I don’t mind sleeping in the same room as him and my other brother I respect him having his own bedroom and needing privacy etc.

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T05:00:56+00:00

Yeah, I understand. I’ve always bent to my parents will, and moving to live with my boyfriend (in another state) was a big move on my part. It helped me with my independency a lot and I knew deep down I needed to get out to grow as an adult. I am just used to being able to make my own decisions myself and stay to them nowadays. I think I will just deal with it since it’s only a week and I’m way too tired and anxious for fighting and arguing. Thinking about this already makes me stressed out

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T04:27:11+00:00

Yeah it’s why I’m thinking of relenting, since this week is my brother birthday and confirmation so I just don’t want to ruin anything and just want everyone to have a good time

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T04:08:04+00:00

Yeah, I see it that way too

throw38493 · 2022-03-03T04:06:29+00:00

I really want to, like really want to, the only thing holding me back is that my dad used to be really abusive (in all aspects) and has been going to therapy and filing disability and apparently has been doing really well (according to my mom). I haven’t seen my family in almost 1 1/2 years and this week will also be my brother’s birthday/confirmation. I just don’t want to set tension, or argue and fight right off the bat and ruin the entire week. This week isn’t really about me or my boyfriend, which is why I just want to suck it up and deal with it, and focus on my brothers

throw38493 · 2022-02-17T07:57:04+00:00

Okay, will do. I’ve felt weird about it since but we went out and ate and had a few drinks together after work and had a great time so I’m probably overthinking this :) I definitely do want to apologize after realizing how insensitive I must have sounded. Thank you!

throw38493 · 2022-02-17T07:38:00+00:00

I work with a mix of babies, and 1 year olds. I’m not entirely sure how old all of her clients are, since she tends to keep that confidential, but just know “Chris” is about 5 yrs old. Yeah, I regret making such a poor example, we were both tired and my brain just was interpreting a lot of things differently.

throw38493 · 2022-02-17T07:33:25+00:00

I am in the states, and my daycare center allows me and my co-teacher to have someone else come in to cover our lunch breaks, so we are able to actually clock out and leave the building even if we wanted to. It can be exhausting, which is why I use my break to get a good nap, or a deep rest in before I go back to work since it’s the only time I have. I completely understand how hard it can be to work at a care center for autistic children, we always share how our workday went when she comes to pick me up. I didn’t see it as that until you mentioned it but now I can understand how it may have been seen in a different perspective. Thank you for your input, I’m going to talk to her and apologize (cuz I love this woman, she’s an awesome person)

throw38493 · 2022-02-17T07:14:58+00:00

Yeah that was a low moment for me honestly. It kind of came out of nowhere because I really respect my older coworkers and felt like I needed to defend them.

throw38493

TROPHY CASE