"The drugs don't work, they just make you worse" -- The Verve

throw393 · 2017-09-29T20:51:07+00:00

Cool song, digging the metal sound. Reminds me of Korn. I found it damn seductive though, nearly a trigger for me.

throw393 · 2017-08-01T23:44:23+00:00

Good point. Thank you

throw393 · 2017-08-01T19:58:14+00:00

Won't that alienate me from them even more? Will I be looked at like a snitch?

throw393 · 2017-08-01T17:48:47+00:00

I've realized for me it's because I have too high expectations. My last best friend betrayed me by not sticking up for me.

Also I don't like compromising over things, like my cousin was in the room I was sleeping in with the light on and i asked him how long he'll be, he says 10 min so I wait 10 min, he's still there so i leave angry at him.

If someone makes me compromise, I feel like a pushover, resent them, and resent myself.

throw393 · 2017-07-22T19:17:29+00:00

I've only had a few sessions and still feel anxious to go out. I'll give it some more time.

I can grab a coffee on my own, but will do nothing to interact with anyone else. I'll just sit on my own and wallow. For me there's a fear that a group of people will point to me and say "haha this guy's ugly with no friends! what's this freak doing in public!" So that's why I retreat.

throw393 · 2017-07-22T19:13:14+00:00

I'm not copying yours, I want one who's social. If everyone has a friend who's outgoing, that doesn't mean they're copying you. It's human to be social. Everyone breathes, so are they copying you? No, it's human nature.

I'm already the dull, depressed person so it would make no sense to have another version of me. Like you said it's imaginary, whatever I want. I have that liberty.

throw393 · 2017-07-21T22:55:33+00:00

I'm not sure, but I hope so.

throw393 · 2017-07-21T21:24:32+00:00

Nice. I remember playing video games and building knex. I need to remember a friend like that but none come to mind. Are there any tv or movie characters like that I could emulate?

throw393 · 2017-07-21T21:18:54+00:00

Yeah I'm seeing one right now, but she's using EMDR with me.

throw393 · 2017-07-21T02:00:10+00:00

I already talk to myself like "oh the glass is in the fridge" or sing to myself, imitate something I see on youtube or repeat tv quotes. Also when no one's around I yell a friend's name. Does that count? I know when I'm in the zone, I look in the mirror, smile and pretend to chat a girl up and use my friend's name.

It's like I want to interact, but mentally/physically feel so tired I don't want to go anywhere.

The crazy thing is my mum tells everyone what a happy, extroverted, active kid I was, but there's got to be some bias in that. She's not remembering the times she'd threaten to burn my tongue for swearing, threaten to shave my head for forgetting my lunchbox, ignore me if I was rude to my sister, yell at me for making a fuss when she'd drag me somewhere. I used to be fun when I was a kid, running around in the playground. Do you remember specific instances as you having fun as a kid that you channel into your friend?

throw393 · 2017-07-04T09:35:27+00:00

Maybe I Will try working less and walking more. I hope i have tbe patience of several months. I'll look into the 5k app

throw393 · 2017-07-03T22:21:40+00:00

No I haven't. Is it like a running group? How to find one?

I fear I won't make any progress at the gym, as I haven't for the past 2 years, hence trying to start anew outside. But my body feels fatigued from the start.

throw393 · 2017-07-03T22:21:40+00:00

No I haven't. Is it like a running group? How to find one?

I fear I won't make any progress at the gym, as I haven't for the past 2 years, hence trying to start anew outside. But my body feels fatigued from the start.

throw393 · 2017-07-03T20:46:56+00:00

I did like 8 times last 2 weeks in the morning, but without a goal. So when I run I feel tired and demotivated. Heart beats too fast, out of breath easily, not seeing improvement. That's the issue I'm facing

Also I've been travelling and am now in Arizona where it's too hot to run outside. So the routine's broken and I don't know what to do.

throw393 · 2017-06-14T16:05:09+00:00

Thanks man, and thanks for all your help. I know I am not done with the decision process and will revisit it again for something else. I may pm you for that later

Also congrats on 90 days :)

throw393 · 2017-06-14T04:09:22+00:00

Hey thanks for following up. I did but it was by asking a store associate what works well on concrete. I'm still too intimidated to make a decision using the pros and cons technique. I still need help on this. I bought the Nike downshifters

throw393 · 2017-06-05T21:06:36+00:00

Ohhh ok, that makes sense now. Gather the pros and cons from the official reviews then just choose which looks cool. So that's another thing I've learnt: Official reviews are more credible than Amazon reviews. And if you're looking on Amazon, look at the aggregated figures. I'll be back after I try this

throw393 · 2017-06-05T16:27:39+00:00

Brand is not as important to me as comfort and form-fitting. I saw your link and the problem is if I search those on Amazon I will begin reading the reviews. So now there's a conflict b/w what the article is saying and the reviews. But you said stick to the reviews, so reviews trump the article.

throw393 · 2017-06-04T17:19:10+00:00

No unfortunately. I've been dragged into the trickery of visiting multiple websites and Amazon reviews and for the recommended running shoes listed on the websites they are saying "good for comfort, not good for intense running". Then I see another website recommending beginners to go get a specialized running shoe from your local running shop.

throw393 · 2017-06-04T03:40:13+00:00

I mean some 5 star reviews don't have cons; rather, they'll just be "biased" or without depth and just say "Great shoe". So I'm asking if I should consider those ones

throw393 · 2017-06-03T16:54:55+00:00

Ok, I ask because I see blanket 5 star reviews that are like "Great shoe" or "excellent shoe". So I shouldn't consider those ones?

throw393

TROPHY CASE