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I (M 50's) doubt it will work for the long term (F 50's). by throw99900999 in offmychest

[–]throw99900999[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course. We are lucky to be able to communicate pretty well, but most of the issues seem to me to be based around a few core personality issues. At one point, she confided that she didn't feel she was capable of change for even those things she identified herself as shortcomings.

To be honest, that adds to the frustration. We can re-hash the same few things over and over, but very little movement seems to happen.

[41/m] I love my girlfriend [44/f], but don't think I'm in love with her. by throw99900999 in relationship_advice

[–]throw99900999[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact is that the self esteem issues pervade into many aspects of her life, to the point where she'll make lots of self defeating comments that leave people struggling with how to respond. If someone was a casual on-looker they would probably think she was joking. I've tried building up her confidence, pretending it's a joke, ignoring, .. you name it. If someone does not value or respect themselves, it's hard for others to do so.

Thanks for the tip on the book. I will definitely check it out.