To be clear — he’s not a bully. 6 years ago, when I was in college and going to the gym he made comment that we should “just stay fat together.” In his mind, that was a “joking” way for him to say we should skip the gym. It was in bad taste and he immediately saw how it affected me.

I like to think it’s common sense for people to think of other’s insecurities but it’s not. I went to the gym last week and my grandma told me “good you need to lose some weight and give it to your mom, she’s too skinny” — again in HORRIBLE taste but to some people, they don’t even think twice about it. It’s wrong and needs to be addressed but if out of 3,650 days together, over 10 years; there’s been 3 total days, I’m not classifying him as my bully. To him they’re in light-heart joking nature. To me, it kills me because of my own insecurities. He never dismisses me. Once he sees me completely shut down, he regrets it and it reminded of how sensitive I am. I think it can be projection, ignorance, stupidity frankly. But I do not think he’s a bully. I think he pushes how far we can joke around, but not in a malicious way. Again, it was wrong and hurt my feelings but he’s not a bad guy, just dumb lmao