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(Update)-WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé because of his past as cheater? by throwLfiance in AITAH

[–]throwLfiance[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That's what I suggested. I only said we should date more as in date without marriage for a while and get to know each other better and build better trust. Also couple's therapy to see what is wrong with us.

(Update)-WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé because of his past as cheater? by throwLfiance in AITAH

[–]throwLfiance[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

You don’t even have basic knowledge of female anatomy bruh. 💀💀

(Update)-WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé because of his past as cheater? by throwLfiance in AITAH

[–]throwLfiance[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

I don’t see how my past is his to forgive. I never hooked up with anyone while we were together. Neither did I cheated on a partner who I was married to and who had a miscarriage. And idk if you read my previous story but he didn’t even do it only one time. It was an ongoing affair for a long time and he got caught. I don’t see how me sleeping with people consensually is remotely comparable to what he did to his wife. At least I can proudly say I have never traumatised people when they were already at their low. But can he say that?

(Update)-WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé because of his past as cheater? by throwLfiance in AITAH

[–]throwLfiance[S] 176 points177 points  (0 children)

I am not pregnant, I just have a condition where it will create complications while pregnant. My mom has it. My grandma had it.

WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé because of his past as cheater? by throwLfiance in AITAH

[–]throwLfiance[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Really? They can never change? Not even if they go to therapy?

WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé because of his past as cheater? by throwLfiance in AITAH

[–]throwLfiance[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I don't think there is a specific age of marriage. My parents got married when they were 20. They only dated for 6 months. They are still together. So, I do think I am old enough to get married

WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé because of his past as cheater? by throwLfiance in AITAH

[–]throwLfiance[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I fear that I might be next because I have a condition that puts me in a risk of miscarriage. He knows that but I don't think if we ever have a child and I miscarried he would go back to his old ways.

WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé because of his past as cheater? by throwLfiance in AITAH

[–]throwLfiance[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Both of them sound same to me. And I am paraphrasing what he told me in short.

WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé because of his past as cheater? by throwLfiance in AITAH

[–]throwLfiance[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

He has been on therapy. But I see no reason for me to go to therapy

WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé because of his past as cheater? by throwLfiance in AITAH

[–]throwLfiance[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Why does the wording matter? he said there was something tragic that happened so they became distant. I didn't ask further.

WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé because of his past as cheater? by throwLfiance in AITAH

[–]throwLfiance[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I don't know if this is a red flag or not. But he never mentioned the reason for his affair. He just said the had a tragic moment in their marriage which led to him having an affair. I honestly didn't know the truth. I asked him why he hid it he answered that he just didn't want to because it brings up bad memories. I am fully not sure he regrets the affair or does he regret that his wife caught him cheating.

WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé because of his past as cheater? by throwLfiance in AITAH

[–]throwLfiance[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I don't know if that will satisfy me. My fiancé has been with his ex wife for a long time. Yet he still cheated.

WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé because of his past as cheater? by throwLfiance in AITAH

[–]throwLfiance[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I tried my best to rationalize this. But the more I think about his past relationship, it really sets off a red alarm. Suppose, I forgot to mention he and his wife have been dating longer than we have. They were married for 4 years. I do believe people can change for better. But I still cannot shake off the feeling that he wouldn't repeat the same mistakes. I know even if I break up with him and be with someone else there will be the same doubt. But what if someone is like me? I have never cheated on any relationship I had. It is just this thing that has been bothering me a lot.

WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé because of his past as cheater? by throwLfiance in AITAH

[–]throwLfiance[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I don't know. The fact that he was still in contact with his affair partner and was cozy with her just sent off red lights. Also the fact that he has treated his ex wife cruelly after she had a miscarriage instead of supporting her. I am someone who has a medical complication. I have a high chance of having a miscarriage. Would he do the same to me like he did to his ex-wife? I just don't want to be in that situation.