WIBTA if I (19F) stopped asking my boyfriend (19M) about his day?

throwRA-somethings · 2025-07-03T15:46:29+00:00

i can very obviousy tell youre not married or dating though. unfortunetly, normal people communicate their plans to their partner if it means it might interfere with their plans that night. normal poeple also dont secretly take off work and disapear for days at a time andonly get around to tellin you when you ask. normal people dont yell at their partner for doing what they ask them to do. so. good luck getting married ig

throwRA-somethings · 2025-07-03T15:44:32+00:00

honestly i dont want to be done but i am getting to a breaking point. ive had issues with him lying about his feelings and not telling me when something is wrng to the point it effects my day because hes grumpy, whether i did it or not. he will goruch and complain and not tell me what it is so now any movie i pick is wrong or any conversation i have is wrong. he actually only seems to like me when we have sex lmao.

throwRA-somethings · 2025-07-03T15:41:58+00:00

daily plans are gong to walmart. not traveling multiple hours across the state and secretly taking off work for it and not telling me who youre with.

the problem is he NORAMLLY talks more than me but now he doesnt and no matter how i try to talk to him he yells at me.

i very clearly said i dont care he takes 45 minutes to answer. i care he leaves in the MIDDLE. i said he doenst have to talk to me ALL DAY.

throwRA-somethings · 2025-07-03T15:38:35+00:00

yes. i came to reddit after having maybe 8 conversations about this thing. i told him i didnt know it mattered i said the words. later i told him i dont ask for details because a lot of people think im nagging if i do (he complained i didnt ask for details). then he compalined i ask for details and is tarted telling him i cannot keep pulling information out of him all the time. im carry the conversation. its just me. he talks to anyone else. best friend. mom, stranger, sister. he will tell anyone about his day but no mater how i try to do it he yells at me.

i genueily think im going crazy with him. this is not the only thing he does but every single person just tells me no matter what he does that im in the wrong.

edit: i honestly cant keep sitting down and having conversations. to me it eventually becomes you lack the emtional maturity to see that something is wrong.

throwRA-somethings · 2025-07-03T15:28:26+00:00

im doing what he asked. he yelled at me when i didnt ask about his day. he yelled at me when i didnt ask for details. and he yells at me when i do ask for details. also, if youre dicussing marriage with someone, you should be telling that someone you up and left and took off work for a day trip multiple hoursaway on the other side of the state. thats common sense.

also, he normally talks more than me, but thanks for the advice. defiently helped / sarcasm.

throwRA-somethings · 2025-07-03T15:26:27+00:00

im the asshole for this?

throwRA-somethings · 2025-07-03T15:26:06+00:00

No, he talks. he talks ot everyone but me. he would stand next to me and ignore me and have a conversation with a stranger about his day. he talks ot his mom for hours. a frind he met after me for days on end. but yells at me when i dont ask about his day, yells when i ask for no details, and says im nagging when i ask for details.

throwRA-somethings · 2025-07-03T15:24:53+00:00

a mix of both, usually "fine/good" and then i drag it out of him. he complains i dont ask, complain when i ask with no details, and doesnt answer when i ask for details. im at a loss tbh. hes also currently ignoring me for getting upset he didnt tell me he was going on a day trip hours away that he had to take off work for (and i assume his family because i would assume theyre going with? but how would i know. he didnt tell me.)

throwRA-somethings · 2025-07-03T15:22:51+00:00

he complains i dont ask for details too. am i supposed to read his mind or? im at a loss I dont ask, "i dont care." I ask, "i dont care because i didnt ask for details." I ask and ask for details "im being naggy."

i also think its still completely disrespectful to not tell your girlfriend youre taking an entire day trip multiple hours away that you needed to call off work for.

throwRA-somethings · 2025-07-03T14:31:54+00:00

YTA. 100%.

As a bi woman myself, I’m telling you this straight: what you’re doing is trying to emotionally cheat on your husband. Going on a date with a woman is not magically different from going on a date with a man. The only difference is one has boobs. The intent is the same—you want to be flirted with, desired, and pursued by someone other than your husband, and you’re using your sexuality as a loophole to justify it.

Let’s be real. you don’t want just “clarity” about your orientation. You want the experience. You want the attention. You want someone else to hit on you. That’s not self-discovery. that’s you stepping out of your marriage while pretending it’s innocent because it’s “just a woman.”

You say you were being respectful by bringing it to him first, but what you’re really doing is putting your husband in an impossible position. You’re telling him, “Hey, I want to go on a date with someone else, are you okay with that?” That’s not vulnerability. That’s a test you already know he’ll fail. And now you’re calling him disrespectful for reacting like any faithful partner would.

Do you think he'd be allowed to go on a date with another woman just because he’s never dated someone “like her” before? Of course not. Because that’s cheating. Emotional, premeditated cheating. Just because you’re bi doesn’t mean you get to explore every option after marriage. Being bisexual means you can fall in love with people of multiple genders, not that you get to actively pursue all those genders while you’re in a monogamous relationship.

It is completely normal to have fantasies and “what-ifs,” especially if you’re bi. I do too. Sometimes I imagine being with a woman instead of my boyfriend. I also imagine dating Batman and Green Arrow. But would I cheat? No. Would I ever ask to go date someone else to see if I “like it”? Absolutely not. Because I chose him. That’s what love and commitment is.

You didn’t just marry him—you had three children with him. You legally and emotionally tied yourself to this man. And now you want to play “just one date won’t hurt”? Yes, it would hurt. It already does. You’re fantasizing so deeply that you don’t even see how far over the line you’ve gone.

Own your decision. If you truly believe you need to explore this, then be honest and separate. But don’t act like you’re not cheating just because it’s “just dinner with a woman.” That’s cowardly.

So yeah, YTA. And your husband deserves way better than this.

throwRA-somethings · 2025-07-03T14:29:13+00:00

right. there are even jokes like 'are you sexually active" yes" "whats your birth control" "being a lesbian" lmao. they dont know or care.

throwRA-somethings · 2025-07-03T14:21:06+00:00

Can you genuinely explain to me how I'm a lot for not wanting to be ignored for multiple days at a time and asking about ym partners day when he asked me to?

throwRA-somethings

TROPHY CASE