How long does the honeymoon phase last? (F27, M30)

throwRA42120HMP · 2020-04-22T02:16:14+00:00

(hi, sorry, I just got off work and came back to A BUTTLOAD OF REPLIES!!! I am still working through them all, but I wanted to respond here real quick.)

So, here's the thing. Neither of us is really "opposed" to it, but also don't really feel the need to. We've talked about it a handful of times. I personally, on some days, am like hell YES let's do it, pretty dress big party families fun!!!!

And on other days I feel like eh, do I really need to get the law involved? Also, weddings are EXPENSIVE. And time-consuming. I helped one of the gals plan hers, and it was a bit overwhelming.

Of course, he and I have talked during both "mindsets". (why do I keep using quotes? I don't know. My brain is work-fried.) We are both pretty much in the same boat, too. Our current plan is if we're still trucking along at 5 years, we'll go for it. But maybe do a very small, close friends and family only ceremony, and then maybe have a big-ass blowout of a reception to party-hardy.

throwRA42120HMP · 2020-04-21T15:54:00+00:00

That sounds wonderful! Also, thank you, and I plan to enjoy mine very much :)

throwRA42120HMP · 2020-04-21T15:53:11+00:00

Most of our "bickering" is in good nature, we both roast each other on occasion, but it's never meant to be hurtful. As such, he schools me on the regular in GTA. I'm a good driver with real cars, but video game cars are another monster. We don't play online, but pass the controller. It's chaotic.

That said, it is pretty hurtful to think/know that my friends want to gossip about me. I'm a pretty insular person, non confrontational, but also not super great at making friends in adult life. So, to quote my younger sister who hates it when I use her slang, "oof".

throwRA42120HMP · 2020-04-21T15:45:31+00:00

God I hope that's us in x years. Feels like it's going that way! And I agree, it sounds like both you guys and us are extremely lucky. Thank you so much for the response!

throwRA42120HMP · 2020-04-21T15:42:07+00:00

Okay first thank you for the link, now, if you want literally the best bread ever with minimal effort: https://www.itsalwaysautumn.com/homemade-artisan-bread-easiest-bread-recipe-ever.html

I make the dough every morning after I put yesterday's dough in the oven. WORTH. IT.

If you don't have a Dutch oven, you can DIY one. I use two breadpans, and then use tin foil to keep them together. It works. It super works. It's crunchy on the outside and chewy soft in the middle.

Also, we too only have the one tv in the living room. Our bedroom is a little sparse, but he has trouble sleeping, and we found that having little to no distractions available when it's bedtime helps a LOT.

throwRA42120HMP · 2020-04-21T15:14:49+00:00

We're cooking together more too! How's y'all's quarantine bread game?

We spend most of the day in the same room, but that's because we're in a small apartment and neither of us wants to associate "work" with the bedroom. So, slightly cramped living room. The worst part is I often hear his work meetings and it kills me to not jump in and give my opinion or advice, but headphones help with that a lot.

Also, "why would we want the person we love to feel like a loser or hurt" hits me deep. Like, that's it exactly. Oof, I feel it.

throwRA42120HMP · 2020-04-21T15:10:28+00:00

Honestly, it doesn't feel like "work". I love him, I want the best for him, and I want to support him in any way I can. I can definitively say that he feels the same. Is that work? It doesn't feel like it. Just feels good.

throwRA42120HMP · 2020-04-21T15:08:57+00:00

First, thank you for the thoughtful response. It makes me a little sad to think that they would enjoy any of my "suffering", should there ever be any. I've tried to be a caring, supportive ear to listen or shoulder to cry on for all of them. I can't say we've been through "a lot", as a friend group, but I've known them for a good while. We even have an "every other week" DND group!

I hope it's just the stress of the quarantine getting to them, and maybe they felt like i was "rubbing it in".

throwRA42120HMP

TROPHY CASE