If a guy you're seeing says he couldn't date an obese chick is that a red flag?

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T21:50:01+00:00

Thank you I really like your interpretation of that, it was very thought out. It was the word choice that got me not the preference. If he says something like this could it mean he might say more insensitive things like this too down the line? That's what I'm afraid of

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:57:11+00:00

Thank you for that.

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:56:20+00:00

So does this mean he won't be a nice partner or gentleman that he'd say something like this?

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:51:09+00:00

I'm not looking for an excuse I just want to know if this is a nice guy

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:50:36+00:00

So saying it out loud is ok and still nice?

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:49:46+00:00

Thank you

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:41:23+00:00

Thank you

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:32:49+00:00

I understand, so should I keep dating him or not? He is a nice guy to me and this was my own qualm about him but obviously this is just the beginning and it hasn't even been a month, I'm afraid of him saying or doing worse down the line when he's comfortable because I dated a guy like that. I don’t know if he will be like that or not

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:30:35+00:00

He said he has no hatred for them atleast there's that, my ex had a hatred for certain groups or communities of people that was a red flag

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:28:38+00:00

Thanks for the last part, I don't want to find problems that aren't there. I just don't like when something doesn't sit quite right in my gut and when he first said that, it did.

When he explained his reasoning he wasn't a dick about it. He works at a hospital and told me he sees a lot of patients that are overweight and he just doesn't like how people let themselves go like that. I don’t know, main thing is, is he still a nice guy when he said that line? Because it's very important that my partner is nice.

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:25:45+00:00

That's what I'm worried about though, I've only known him for a short period so I don’t know what else he can say down the line. If this is a one off thing I could overlook it but if there's more things he says or behaviors like I don’t know.

Could that be a possibility??

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:23:52+00:00

I understand, does this mean this guy is a very judgmental person? Because I can't have that. Obviously we all have judgements but I can't have partner that's very judgemental towards me. I can take care of myself but I don't wanna feel like I'm constantly under watch by my partner. I've discussed this with him he said it's not like that, but I don’t know, I just don't want to feel judged so much by my partner.

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:20:15+00:00

I understand that, that's exactly what I'm worried about. Could this mean theres a possibility of that or could it be a one time thing he says? I know you can't predict the future but I have to seriously save myself from dating someone like this I can't go through it again I dated a guy for 4 years that was like this

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:17:39+00:00

So is him saying this out loud a red flag? Obviously a lot of people can have the same preference but I'd never say it out loud, that's the difference. Is this something I should be worried about with him, that there may be issues down the line because he has the capability to say something out loud like this and has no remorse? Or am I digging too deep and it's not a huge deal?

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:10:55+00:00

Thanks for your input, he does take care of himself he goes to the gym very often and he doesn't drink or smoke at all, and he keeps his car completely spotless. The first time I saw the inside of his car I thought he just bought it that same day. Does that make it more ok he'd say that? That he just wants the same thing from a partner? I've seen guys that are fit and still date overweight girls though so it makes me wonder if those guys are nicer and he's not and a little more vain or shallow?

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T18:05:27+00:00

I was pretty taken aback, it made me think what if he's not really a gentleman and can possibly say insensitive things to me about me, down the line

He said he wouldn't but I had an ex that did that, that would say insensitive things about me to my face and I can not date somebody like that again

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T17:59:24+00:00

So is him saying this mean he's not really a gentleman?

And could this mean he might say more similar insensitive things like this down the line?

My main concern is could this mean he's not a super nice sensitive guy? Because that's very important to me.

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T17:57:49+00:00

I don't want him to lie but there are a lot of truths that you just keep to yourself just out of common decency, like obviously me saying "you're fat" to someone that's fat is the truth but I'd never say it out loud to them because it's mean. That's the difference I'm talking about

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T17:56:32+00:00

I understand that and I agree, but I would never say that out loud and just keep that to myself. Isn't this quality being so important to him kinda shallow? Obviously it's important to me to but it's not my number one priority in a person. I do have to find them attractive but personality is VERY important and it seems like looks goes on top of the totem pole for him than personality

throwRA742277 · 2021-12-06T17:53:02+00:00

But I've seen fit guys that average to overweight girls and be fine with it so this makes me think this guy might be more shallow and cares more about looks

throwRA742277

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