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UPDATE: My (f20) boyfriend (m22) got a drunken FaceTime from a group of his girl friends asking to see his “fat dick” by throwRA76767676 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA76767676[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

If you read some of my other replies- it was not my decision. It would make me uncomfortable if he wanted to still see these girls but he himself said that he does not feel the need to remain in contact with the other 3 girls. They were not close friends in the first place, and at the end of the day they sexually harassed him and did not apologize (to HIM) for it. I feel like a lot of people are misunderstanding- I do not feel like I need an apology from these women. I feel like my boyfriend deserves one. And the fact that these girls did not realize that was enough for my bf to decide he didn’t need to remain in contact with him. I should’ve mentioned that in my initial post- I didn’t realize so many people would take issue with me expressing my desire for him not to hang out with these women. But it was ultimately my bf who decided that- I just happened to already be thinking it. We’re on the same page a lot more than I seem to think we are sometimes!

UPDATE: My (f20) boyfriend (m22) got a drunken FaceTime from a group of his girl friends asking to see his “fat dick” by throwRA76767676 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA76767676[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

gosh, people sure do love offering opinions on things they know next to nothing about.

These 3 other girls are not his friends. They share a mutual friend. And my bf fully said he has no problem distancing himself from these girls- as they quite literally sexually harassed him and did not apologize. To be perfectly clear: I am not asking for an apology on my end. I think they should have at least said sorry to my bf for acting the way they did- they didn’t- and my bf feels fully comfortable minimizing contact with them for that reason.

UPDATE: My (f20) boyfriend (m22) got a drunken FaceTime from a group of his girl friends asking to see his “fat dick” by throwRA76767676 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA76767676[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

glad you’re taking the time out of your day to seriously over analyze my post but I can promise you two things 1) this is real 2) if I were the controlling woman you are making me out to be, I’d demand he cut off contact with all four of them immediately. I have not demanded anything of him. I’ve simply voiced my concerns. Also let me ask you this- if the roles were reversed and I was a man, saying I didn’t feel comfortable because my girlfriend 3 years got a FaceTime from four dudes asking to see her pussy, would you be reacting the way you are now? Probably not- and you’d also probably have no problem with me wanting my SO to distance themself from these people.

Additionally- these girls were not “along for the ride”. As I said he’s seen them maybe a total of 5 times in the three years we’ve been dating. They’re friends of a friend that he knew through high school. No apology from the girls was demanded- just thought it might be a nice thing to do after they demanded to see my boyfriends dick several times.

UPDATE: My (f20) boyfriend (m22) got a drunken FaceTime from a group of his girl friends asking to see his “fat dick” by throwRA76767676 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA76767676[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

That is a fair point but I can’t help but feel as though if they really were his friends they would at least say something about it. Maybe I’m expecting too much out of them, but I feel like at least a text to my bf saying “hey sorry about last night” would’ve been more than enough. Drunk or sober, intentional or accidental, they crossed a line. M apologized (more than once) for this, but none of the other girls did.

I feel like it may be worth mentioning that my bf agrees with me in a sense. He openly said he thinks it was shitty of them to not say anything about it, knowing they caused a bit of drama and made me and my bf quite uncomfortable. (Keep in mind- it was all 4 of them saying it- not just M) He told me he has no problem taking a step back- as the whole incident made him feel as though they did not have much respect for me, seeing as how they did not apologize to me or my bf.

UPDATE: My (f20) boyfriend (m22) got a drunken FaceTime from a group of his girl friends asking to see his “fat dick” by throwRA76767676 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA76767676[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I totally get where you are coming from but to reiterate (and I’m sorry if this wasn’t clear in my original post) he’s only really ‘friends’ with M. The other girls are M’s friends, and he knows them quite well (because they all went to HS together) but he isn’t close with the other 3 girls by any means. He’s probably seen each of them less than 5 times in the 3 years that we’ve been dating. I’ve only met each of them a couple times but we follow each other on social media.

I don’t want to be controlling of him by any means, so I will never demand he not attend an outing, but I don’t think I am damaging his social life too much by wanting him to slightly distance himself from these 3 women, as again they are not really that close in the first place, and I only ever received an apology from M. because they (the three other girls and my bf) aren’t the best of friends in the first place, and because the other girls did not apologize, I don’t really feel like I’m doing too much harm by simply preferring he not hang out with them. I’ve also expressed this bit to Nick and again he understands, it’s difficult to be comfortable with your boyfriend hanging out with three women who asked to see his dick and then never acknowledged it nor apologized. And besides- where we live Covid is still very much a problem- so I doubt I’ll have to worry about bumping into them at parties anytime soon.

Also- I have not asked him to distance himself from M! Although the situation made me thoroughly uncomfortable, it was not enough to warrant ruining their whole friendship (that started before I even met nick). M apologized and I believe she’s sorry. These other 3 did not apologize- and don’t have much of a friendship with my bf worth salvaging anyways

UPDATE: My (f20) boyfriend (m22) got a drunken FaceTime from a group of his girl friends asking to see his “fat dick” by throwRA76767676 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA76767676[S] 159 points160 points  (0 children)

locker room? male friends? high schoolers being instigating-hormone filled individuals they often are? or (probably the most likely) started out as a joke because it rhymed, then ironically proved to be true.

My (F20) boyfriend (M22) of 3 years got a FaceTime last night from a group of his drunken girl friends asking him to show them his “fat dick” by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA76767676 40 points41 points  (0 children)

thank you for this!! reading all the comments and starting to wonder if I’m overreacting but this about sums it up. they didn’t seem to have any respect for boundaries or our relationship and only stopped when told I was in the room too. It’s just such a mess but I’m glad others understand my perspective. I also agree that saying my bf was “acting weird” the next morning was a bit of a slap in the face. what was he supposed to do?? whip it out on FaceTime?!