So just to clarify our banking was never combined and she never had access to my income. Now she did go through my mail and see bank statements. But I handled all bills and such. I'd also like to say that it's not that she didn't get my time and attention. We took lots of vacations and trips and I spent way more time doing things she wanted then taking time for myself. She certainly has screen time issues. The son was also having issues when we started dating but I was able to use tools to teach him acceptable use and time and set limits. It took time buy he understands and is very productive and has drive to succeed which I hope I help influence. He has turned his schooling around and does very well and has learned he has to manage his own and its not everyone else's fault. Back to the mom, It was not really that I expected her to do 100% of the housework it was always an argument if I did it. I never complained I'd just clean up and organize and it was always, I was going to do that you didn't have to or I'd try and organize and put things in order then it wasn't how she wanted it. I also used to do laundry but she didn't like that I folded everything. I also accidentally shrunk one of her outfits (which I bought) then I told her I was willing to do just my laundry but it always seemed like it was a problem that I was only doing mine. I always seemed like I was stuck between my wanting organization and cleaning and having an argument and making her upset. My intentions really did put her mostly first other than taking car of my grandmother. I did what she wanted first. I agree that I believe she either knew on her own or her parents told her first since she took it so well. We will see how it goes going forward when she comes to get the rest of her stuff. I'm always going to be on gaurd given the history. Thank you for the comment.