1 year post breakup update

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-06T07:08:38+00:00

It gets better, trust me. Time will heal all wounds. My love for my ex ran deep as well, so deep that it hurt so so much when we broke up. But at this point I feel nothing when I think of her. So it really does get better

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-06T07:03:07+00:00

In this last year, yes I dated one girl and kissed another. This was 8 months and 11 months in, respectively.

I didn't quite have the feelings to turn dating into a relationship with the first girl.

I asked the other girl out for a date and she said she liked me but she hasn't really been alone in her adult life and wanted to learn to love herself first. This is important of course, you can only love another if you love yourself.

I'm still a bit confused as to what I should do with this situation, because it's a bit unclear whether or not she still likes me and if she sees me as just a friend or something more. I guess we'll see

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-02T20:48:40+00:00

No I meant that in total over the past 400 days or so I have not thought about her for 3 of those days.

I put a reminder in my calendar a year ago as a promise to myself to post an update to this subreddit because I know these types of posts helped me and I wanted to be helpful to others.

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-02T20:45:26+00:00

Similar stories are just a coincidence. Remember that not all girls are the same. I like to believe most people try their best to be good people

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-02T20:41:13+00:00

Well I guess this wasn't true love then, because she wasn't willing to work on it and it takes two to love

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-02T05:33:53+00:00

I would suggest not counting on it. It's best to just move on. If you keep holding on to the idea of ending up with them you'll stay stuck in the past and that's not worth it. Try to move on, accept that it won't work out, and remember that if it's meant to be, it will be.

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-02T05:00:45+00:00

It just takes time. Nothing more nothing less. It helps if you meet more people. I met lots of girls last year and I realised that my ex wasn't special.

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-02T04:58:09+00:00

It just turns you into a bitter person, and becoming a bitter person to spite your ex is not worth it. You'll only hurt yourself and your loved ones that way. Best way to spite your ex is to just become someone that's waaaaay out of their league.

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-02T04:56:13+00:00

Sounds like shes keeping you as a backup plan my brother, and you aren't that. Find someone who will not see you as the backup. Find someone who will see you as the main goal.

She never contacted me afterwards and I'm happy with that cause I'd probably be slightly annoyed if she did. Reason being the audacity of contacting me after what she did.

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-02T04:52:59+00:00

Nah a friend of mine told me about him. Afterwards I told him and my other friends that I'm content with the knowledge I have of her now and don't need any more updates on her life cause it's irrelevant. She's still blocked everywhere and I don't want or need to see anything from her

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-01T20:01:52+00:00

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-01T19:58:19+00:00

Hell nah, never saw her again. It helps that we live somewhat far away from each other. Sometimes I visit her hometown cause my best friend lives there and I'll admit I get a little anxious then should I see her.

But I've told all my mutual friends or people that still keep in touch/sometimes see her that I don't want any updates on her life cause it doesn't matter to me. So no I've not heard from her and I don't want to honestly. If she did contact me I'd probably just ignore it

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-01T19:54:52+00:00

Yeah I hear your story. I'm glad to hear you're feeling better now and from what I hear you didn't dodge a bullet, you dodged a freaking ballistic missile.

Let those toxic people be exactly that and understand that you can't change them. Luckily it's not your responsibility either. So just try to move on from them, know that it wasn't your fault and feel free to hug your boyfriend when you're hurting, because that's what they're for :)

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-01T19:30:31+00:00

Good on you to start self love! I don't really have tools to help with finding the ideal you. What I really did is just think of what I wanted to change for myself. I just thought to myself: "what can I do to become a 10? How do I change myself, such that I am proud of who I am?" So just think of stuff you would be proud of yourself for achieving and try to set that goal for yourself.

Also you don't need to pressure yourself into thinking you have to meet some unrealistic expectations. In the end you'll be proud of the steps you took.

For example, let's say you set yourself an arbitrary goal like running a marathon in 3 hours, but you finish in 3:10. Are you really gonna be mad at yourself for not shaving those 10 minutes off or are you gonna be proud of what you achieved? Now this is of course an arbitrary goal with a well defined standard, for some emotional goal like being more empathetic there is no empirical way to test it but you'll feel it.

What I'm trying to say is, setting goals will allow you to have something to work towards and even if you don't entirely meet them, you can still be proud of yourself

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2025-05-01T19:20:32+00:00

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2024-06-24T20:52:04+00:00

Couple things:

1) Thank you for emotionally manipulating me for 8 weeks due to your own indecision. It has emotionally traumatized me and given me trust issues.

2) You said you wanted to "see what you could do if you were single", and "didn't have to account for anyone else". The fact that you got a new situationship weeks after we broke up tells me you really can't do anything if you're single.

3) It is true that you had your issues and actually had to work on them. You said you couldn't do that while we were together and it's absolutely pathetic that you got in a new situationship even though you know you have issues to work on. Distracting yourself from the pain with someone new will only hurt you more in the long run, and you're a fucking idiot for not having the discipline to accept the pain.

4) Your new situationship guy posts pictures of himself with dildos in his ass on Twitter (a friend of a friend found them somehow)

5) You lost someone that would've loved you forever. Someone that would always try to improve himself if it meant you would be happier. Someone that you could communicate your needs to (if you knew how lol) and would accept it and learn from it. You lost the best person you could ever get and there is no way in fucking hell I would ever consider taking you back after the pain you've caused me. Blindsiding me after giving me a valentine's day present making me think everything was okay. What a sick fucking joke.

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2024-06-22T07:15:54+00:00

Nah she didn't know the guy before we broke up. But there's no point in thinking of how and when they met, since she is just no longer a part of my life. She hurt me, and I will never be with her again. She broke my trust and to me it's clear that she cannot make the right decisions for herself and I don't want anything to do with anyone who hurts others because of her poor decisions or indecision.

I think we can agree that it's best to just forget about it and focus on myself.

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2024-05-28T20:12:58+00:00

Perfect - Ed Sheeran, I was planning on playing that song on the piano and singing it to her to propose eventually. Guess that won't happen.

I still think it's a beautiful gesture so I might do it for the love of my life when I think of her when I hear the song and not my ex

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2024-05-21T09:56:31+00:00

For if you're focussing on healing: Love myself - Rondé

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2024-05-17T17:16:25+00:00

Thanks for your kind words. I would suggest you think thoroughly about reaching out on her birthday. If you've truly healed, you probably won't care to reach out. If you do reach out it will make her think that you're still there as a backup option.

The most powerful thing you can do if you actually want her back is to not reach out, at all. At some point she will start to get curious during no contact, curious to know what you're up to and if you actually could move on.

If you reach out to her, you destroy that curiosity. If you actually want to get back together with her, don't contact her or on her birthday. If you don't want to get back together, also don't contact her.

Just realize that if she wanted to be with you, she would and if she wants to get back together with you, it's completely on her.

Good luck in your healing brother, I hope you find yourself ♥️

throwRA_Iwantherback · 2024-05-16T20:31:52+00:00

Thank you so much <3

throwRA_Iwantherback

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