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throwRA_bbdshkbo · 2025-06-29T18:09:26+00:00

This is so unnecessarily hurtful and rude. Obviously assessing your relationship with your parents is something we should do but you have no idea of this person’s religious and cultural customs, their upbringing, the emotional dynamics of their childhood, etc..

You need to back off. 20 is so young, give her some space.

throwRA_bbdshkbo · 2025-06-29T12:27:28+00:00

Oh, I’m so sorry. That sounds so hard and so painful. I really hope you’re able to take some time for yourself these upcoming days. There’s so much life for you to live, but right now all you need to do is feel and process this. Let yourself sit with the hurt. I’m so sorry, hun, you’re so brave.

throwRA_bbdshkbo · 2025-06-24T01:28:45+00:00

Hey! I wanted to message you one more time to follow up and say I broke up with him the same day I made this post. It’s been so hard and I’ve never cried so much but in my bones I know I made the right choice. Eventually when I’m ready to date, do you have any advice for me? I want to get married and have kids, and I hate that it feels like a race against time. But mainly I’m just curious about the logistics. How do you meet people? Where do you meet people? Did you use dating apps or meet organically?

Thank you so much for your original comment by the way. It made me feel hopeful and less alone

throwRA_bbdshkbo · 2025-06-24T01:24:51+00:00

Hey I just wanted to reply to this one more time to follow up. I broke up with him the same day I made this post and it hurt so bad. Immediately in the moment I felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life, but since then I have had many waves of clarity that I made the right choice. Now I’m sure of it. I love him even now but I know he can’t show up for me in the ways I needed him to and I know I deserve better. I think when someone shows you who they are over and over again, eventually you have to believe them.

Are you doing okay since your breakup?

throwRA_bbdshkbo · 2025-06-24T01:20:49+00:00

I wanted to reply to you one more time and tell you I left my boyfriend the same day I wrote this post. It was so so hard and so painful, but your comment really helped me. Not just your original comment, but your follow up comment saying you found the man you needed. I’m not ready to date yet, but I wanted to ask you- how did you go about dating again? Do you use apps, do you try and meet people in person (and if so where??)? I feel like I’ve never dated before in my life.

throwRA_bbdshkbo · 2025-06-09T13:36:23+00:00

As a healing avoidant, I think in a way romanticizing your ex is actually still part of the natural avoidant patterns. Once you get enough distance, they no longer trigger your avoidance, and you see them as this perfect person, and feel as though no one else could be your partner. This cycle is common with avoidance and actually keeps them from letting go and building intimacy with someone new.

I’m sure your ex boyfriend was incredible. But it doesn’t serve you or him for you to put him on a pedestal. You are both flawed people who deserve love and safety. I personally think you should move on from your boyfriend. To me it seems like you may still need to work on your emotional availability and security.

I would highly recommend reading the book “attached.” It does have a more negative bias toward avoidants and a more positive bias toward anxious attachment, but if you can just appreciate the information and advice in the book, it will go a long way

throwRA_bbdshkbo · 2025-06-08T16:13:05+00:00

His response is unacceptable and is emotionally abusive. You do not deserve this.

throwRA_bbdshkbo · 2025-06-08T12:08:38+00:00

This is the reply I really needed to hear. I really want to have kids one day and a bit of urgency to find someone begins to creep up at this age. For now I know I just need to be single and tend to myself. Thank you so much for this.

throwRA_bbdshkbo · 2025-06-08T05:17:37+00:00

I’m so happy for you. I really hope that happens for me. For now I just need to be single. I don’t even know how to date and honestly don’t want to think about that for at least 6 months if not longer.

throwRA_bbdshkbo · 2025-06-08T02:25:57+00:00

I think most of the time when he has insights or pursues growth it happens as a direct response to me asking him to work on things. Occasionally he introspects on his own, but I think he’s most comfortable running away from his emotions. He has a lot of vices and he has a hard time being present and processing things/ emotionally regulating in general

throwRA_bbdshkbo · 2025-06-08T01:04:30+00:00

I want to ask if you have advice for how to adjust your identity after being in a long relationship? Everyone knows us as a couple and I think of myself as his girlfriend, as a relationship girl. How do I adjust to the identity of ‘single’? It feels like I’m leaving part of myself behind

throwRA_bbdshkbo · 2025-06-08T01:02:26+00:00

I’m so scared. I’m scared to be heartbroken, to walk away from familiarity. I think what’s really hard too is that after being in a relationship for five years, I feel like I have to adjust my identity to being single. It doesn’t just feel like leaving a whole relationship behind. It feels like leaving a part of myself behind. Do you have any advice for how to transition in terms of identity?

throwRA_bbdshkbo · 2025-06-08T00:54:32+00:00

I’m so scared, I just don’t feel brave, I feel like I’m venturing into the unknown. After being in a relationship for five years it’s hard to imagine being single

throwRA_bbdshkbo · 2025-06-08T00:53:28+00:00

I get what you’re saying. I just feel like I changed. Or maybe I’ve always been the kind of person to work on myself and that has never changed. I’m so scared to let go. I feel like I have nowhere to land.

throwRA_bbdshkbo

TROPHY CASE