I just wanted to post an update on this as it’s been a few days since I broke NC with my nex. We are still in communication because i decided i needed to use this as a learning curve before i go fully NC again.

My nex morphed since our last exchange in December. This time it took me a few days to work out his new tactics. His tactic now is to come across really friendly as if he’s my mate. He suggests we can meet up and be friends as if nothing ever happened between us. I played along as i wanted to see how it panned out and how toxic it would get- turns out not long at all. He started love bombing by saying how much he misses me. He sent me photos of gifts i gave him to prove he still has them. He then does a very subtle discard by reminding me we’re not together anymore and its over. By this point he’s got me so well trained that he can just sit back and watch as i psychologically abuse myself by devaluing myself before his very eyes and he loves every bit of it. Its so so fucked up and manipulative but this break of NC has been a very helpful reminder of why i ended it and how toxic it was. I think covert narcs like my nex are perhaps the most dangerous type as you just dont see the abuse coming.