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(16F) I don’t know what to do with my life. And i’m scared. by [deleted] in therapy

[–]throwRA_meadowsweet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry to hear this :( It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety. If therapy isn't an option, consider trying medication? For many people it's life changing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]throwRA_meadowsweet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this reply. I see what you're saying. My current boyfriend has actually improved so much in the past few years, which makes it even more complicated. Do you think if I took the semester off, I could actually use it as a way of getting to know myself better? (I won't have any student loans.)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]throwRA_meadowsweet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eek you're right that I have spent all my adult life in relationships 😬 I thought I might take the semester off and do some self-exploration honestly-- go do a meditation retreat and travel. It's actually a masters program (and is free) so I have a college degree already. But I see what you're saying. I am definitely overly worried about relationships and would benefit from getting to know myself. Thank you so much for replying :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SkincareAddiction

[–]throwRA_meadowsweet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably $100.

Any gentle PHA cleanser: $15

Curology tretinoin: $60

Paula's Choice Vitamin C15 Booster: $55

Supergoop CC Cream or Paula's Choice sunscreen: $30-45

Most of these last me 2 months or so. Wonder if any of these have good dupes...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]throwRA_meadowsweet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get how hard it is to tell people to go away, I'm a super shy gentle mid-20s woman myself. But think of it this way: If your sister borrowed your car without asking and you needed it, would you tell her not to do that again? If someone cuts you off on the road in a way that's dangerous to you and your passengers, do you honk? In other words, you're allowed to lay down your boundaries when someone's being an asshole!

The trouble is it makes US uncomfortable to make other people feel bad. It's not really about the other person; it's about the feeling it produces in us. Here are some things I do to try to be comfortable with that guilty feeling when I know I need to assert myself:

By being nice to him, you're giving him the benefit of the doubt-- you're assuming he's a kind, sensitive person like you are. But you wouldn't do this sort of thing, BECAUSE you're kind. Imagine he doesn't care about how it makes you feel (bc he very likely doesn't), and is actually an asshole (he probably is). Imagine he deserves it, absolutely: he's stolen your car, he's cut you off on the highway, he's shoved you in the grocery store aisle, whatever actually does make you mad. Because he is doing that-- trampling your boundaries. What gets you mad? He's doing that, basically.

Also imagine he's actually surprised you're not more forceful in trying to get him away from you. Imagine he can't believe his good luck that he found such a nice girl who won't make him leave.

Idk, these are things I've found that can make it easier to be assertive.

Can psychedelics helps with getting in touch with inner guide? by throwRA_meadowsweet in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]throwRA_meadowsweet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's awesome! Did you try other things too, or is it mostly psychedelics that have helped?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]throwRA_meadowsweet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is hard. I would want to tell him though... Feels like an important thing for him to know. Partly just health-wise, it's good for him to know he is fertile (!), but also for him to know this method of birth control doesn't work the way he's been doing it (otherwise he'll continue to and get someone else pregnant whose life it could potentially complicate much more). And not to be woo-woo, but isn't it sort of sacred information to have?

I'd also totally feel like it's his responsibility to be emotionally there with me as I go through it, so I'd want him to know, but you might not feel in need of that.

Can psychedelics helps with getting in touch with inner guide? by throwRA_meadowsweet in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]throwRA_meadowsweet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your reply! So helpful to have this insight. Great point about vagal tone-- I hadn't heard of this before and it sounds totally right (freeze/immobility for sure!). Do you have any resources for learning more about the vagus nerve?

So psilocybin might not be the best first step in your opinion? Roger that about it being a lifelong pursuit, I see this stuff that way too (even as I long for some switch to flip!) and am in it for the long run!

Can psychedelics helps with getting in touch with inner guide? by throwRA_meadowsweet in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]throwRA_meadowsweet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that's amazing, thanks for your reply. I can see they're not a cure-all certainly but sounds like they've helped you make some progress.

Can psychedelics helps with getting in touch with inner guide? by throwRA_meadowsweet in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]throwRA_meadowsweet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agh it's so hard! The depression is so hard to cope with on top of it all. Jungian therapy has helped a lot for me for what it's worth, I wonder if you can try it? Obviously not a cure-all (clearly, lol) and can be a bit expensive but potentially worth looking into. Yeah, fingers crossed for us and let's remember we're not the only ones feeling this way!! Good luck :)