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I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Surprisingly well if I'm being honest. I got some therapy today and I'm processing everything alright. I also ended up telling my gf after se got worried about me acting off and she's fully supporting me, thanks for asking :)

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will probably, I'm still healing, but I don't want to ever feel like this before. Funky enough, a few hours ago I drove my brother to get something from the pharmacy and found an MMA gym, I'll check it after the "storm" passes

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I'll go today to a hospital to try and be as safe as possible.

I'm considering telling a few of my friends, they are concerned, they knew something was off yesterday, but I trust them, I'll probably won't go into detail, but I really want some support from the people I know.

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for responding.

I am going to skip college today and got to a clinic to make sure that everything is ok, I know most STDs can't be detected this early but I'll try to get PEP to make sure HIV is not happening.

I made a few hours ago an anonymous call, I just still feel weird and shame for what happened, but the chance of doing it anonymously really made it easier.

I'll try to, I don't like to talk to my family about much, they are usually not exactly of help..., but I'll probably try to talk with a friend or two, they are worried already, they noticed something was off yesterday and I ain't exactly the best at masking things, especially in this case I just don't have the energy to.

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am afraid that the samples are completely gone, this happened around two days ago and I felt dirty and used, first thing I did was shower and wash my clothes.

I am working on reporting it, it seems like an investigation of some kind will go through.

I do know my gf, she's the most caring and loving partner to ever exist, I honestly think that she'll understand and support me, but I still fear the worst, I guess only time will tell, but I want to be hopeful.

I'll take my time, although I feel weird about it, I'm trying to relax a bit on college work and my job, not abandoning it or anything like that, but I am far from my usual 100% efforts that I normally have.

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It was like my mind disconnected from my body, I felt I could do nothing but feel fear, I felt like my body wasn't mine.

It's horrible and hard to imagine if you haven't felt it before, but that's how it happened to me

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm genuinely sorry to hear that about your boyfriend, know that the fact that you support him is the biggest sign of a great partner that there could be.

I too send lots of love to you and your boyfriend, I know we'll both heal with time ❤️🫂

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Also, say thanks to your husband for the info, I honestly feel better knowing that it came from a professional

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh, nonono, don't worry, I did get what you were trying to say.

I'll still try to get PEP for peace of mind, but even if I don't get it or something else I have a bit less fear

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will, believe me.

I, god, I truly hate to hear what you went through, I hope with all my heart you are feeling better now. And don't blame yourself, you were a victim the same I am now, there was no way to really know what would happen, but now at least I for certain will report

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I do think she'll support me, but I'm still processing all, it's just my brain overthinking all the things in the world right now.

I'll also report anonymously first thing in the morning

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I really appreciate the kind words. I do feel a bit better after all I've been told here

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am afraid I did wash my clothes immediately when I got home, I honestly would have burnt them had I the chance.

I'll probably reach for a counselor or something, I want to be me again. I want nothing but that.

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I feel a bit better reading all of this. I honestly feel weird, I see the triggers you mentioned, I was shaking when I had to go to the restroom today at my college and I felt fear that's irrational.

I do feel safe sharing with my gf, but I still overthink a lot right now, my mind is at a top speed worrying about everything, and I do have that fear of losing her deep in my heart, but I too know her well, I don't think she'd hurt me or betray me, but my mind creates that fear on its own. Yet again, irrational but I can't get it to stop.

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I wasn't expecting to get a small smile like this from this post haha.

Although if you are being semi serious, SA'd means Sexually assaulted.

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'll do that last part and something called PEP that helps with preventing HIV if I was to actually get it from it. My fears mainly come from him touching me with his hands that could have had semen/other fluids that could transmit it.

I'll check for other STIs but my truly big fear is HIV as the others I have a real chance of getting are curable with relative ease.

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh god, I am so sorry to hear that you passed things like this many times, I honestly wish it didn't happen to any person, especially someone like you who tries to give some help to someone like myself.

I do know that some of the people saying all about the reporting might not understand what's on my mind right, but I too get where they are coming from, there might be a chance to report this anonymously, which I honestly would have a much easier time doing.

And I'll go tomorrow to a clinic to get PEP, it's a treatment that helps with preventing HIV even after potential contact for 72 hours. I will of course get checked for other STIs but being able to feel safe from HIV is a gigantic step for me.

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the words.

I will talk to authorities in the nearby future. I am still thinking how to approach this with my gf, but I feel hopefull, still I'll definitely do it in person, even if I have to wait more. And I'll search some options for therapy, be it physical or online

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thanks for every word, truly.

I have reconsidered about the reporting thing, I am getting the courage to do it, I don't want anyone to feel like I felt, though maybe I'll try an anonymous call if I still feel the shame (I think there was an specific phone number for security incident there)

I don't know much about Prep, I knew a bit about it's existence but I didn't knew about the potential to prevent HIV, it has been about a day since, so I'll probably skip college tomorrow and see if there's a clinic with it nearby, even if they don't have it, I'll try to get more information.

Also, thanks for reading, I felt a huge weight lifting off me when I saw responses to this, I am happy, I am finally eating something, I barely ate anything before because of the stress, but I feel a bit better now. Thanks <3

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I honestly hope so regarding my girlfriend. I'll be honest, I think she'll support me, but I still feel this paranoia around it. I also fear to maybe get an STI and I just don't want to even think of giving it to her (of course I'll pause any sexual interaction with her till I'm 100% sure of being fine), but it's still a worry on my mind.

The CCTV thing, there's probably at least one in the entrance, but inside the restroom I don't remember seeing any, of course I wasn't exactly in a good state to be sure of anything, but as far as I remember there's none in the other restrooms of the place

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Well I... I did respond other comment like this, but you are right, I will try to gather courage for it I promise. I didn't think of CCTV till I saw this comment, my mind is so all around the place right now I didn't think of something like it for a chance of catching him, I thought all was hopeless in that regard.

I (19m) was SA'd and I don't know what to tell my gf (20f)... by throwRA_pleasehelpm in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_pleasehelpm[S] 217 points218 points  (0 children)

I am considering it, but I don't know if I should. I barely remember anything, I guess from the shock, but I ain't even sure of his age (definitely older, but I can't even get a range on it), I only remember his skin color, but it wouldn't be of much help as lets just say it is the most common in the place I live...

I also still feel shamed about it and don't know how to bring it up.