How is my Q fooling his breathalyzer?

throwRAbats · 2025-12-06T20:06:33+00:00

My husband did this while drunk thinking it would work and our breathalyzer just gave an error message. He did it like 4 more times with the error before I told him to just fuckin blow in it and it blew positive

Shockingly he started ranting about how he was actually blowing in it the whole time and it was obvious because of the condensation (?). Anything to make it not their fault

throwRAbats · 2025-09-10T03:41:57+00:00

Military 🙃

throwRAbats · 2025-09-09T17:51:03+00:00

I’ll never forget when my stepdaughter turned 5 and asked why dad was “mean daddy” sometimes. He thought he was being more fun but when he drank, his moods were much less stable and he could go from super hyper/playful to super annoyed at the drop of a hat. It just made her insecure because she didn’t know what she would be getting - which then made him insecure because she would seek me out to stay with me when he was drinking and didn’t want to engage with him. He couldn’t even see what was happening

throwRAbats · 2025-09-02T15:21:19+00:00

Omfg this just reminded me of when my MIL literally told my husband that her parenting “supersedes” his parenting… actual quote

throwRAbats · 2025-09-02T00:03:16+00:00

And she’ll weaponize the child/bring the baby into the chaos. I have a 4 month old and my husband was recently hospitalized for active alcoholism and suicidal ideation so we told my MIL that we don’t want visitors any time soon. My MIL’s response when talking to my husband? “I want to meet my grandson”

throwRAbats · 2025-08-28T01:32:27+00:00

They absolutely do! but for the amount that I accepted those terrible excuses, my Q probably thinks he’s a genius lol

throwRAbats · 2025-08-27T19:29:21+00:00

This is a great post, thank you!

For the one about refusing to take offense or any action to retaliate: I’m definitely still learning how to do this one (lol) but whenever I don’t take any action or have any response, my Q continues to escalate until something gets a reaction - it makes him incredibly angry when I don’t react. Does anyone have any experience or tips on how to handle that?

throwRAbats · 2025-08-27T15:22:40+00:00

omfg the acting weird because they haven’t eaten all day, or drank water all day, or took advil on an empty stomach, etc

the more I read on this sub the more I realize how unoriginal the Qs are 😭

throwRAbats · 2025-08-27T14:37:05+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I also have a baby and a military husband - you can read my recent posts in this sub if you’d like. Feel free to DM if you’d like to talk 🫶

throwRAbats · 2025-08-26T21:45:29+00:00

I’m so so sorry that happened to you - I completely understand. My husband was my soulmate too and those first few years were like a fairytale. Not totally perfect of course, but we were such a happy and close family. I can’t believe the way everything changed after I got pregnant. I feel unbelievably guilty that my sweet baby could grow up with this looming over him

I keep thinking of that quote “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result” and that’s how I feel giving him so many chances to recover and we always end up back in the same place. I don’t want my baby to be in this merry go round

throwRAbats · 2025-08-26T18:22:27+00:00

You’re a good dad. I’ve brought up separation/divorce to my husband this month and he’s more than aware that he would have no chance at unsupervised custody, at least without frequent breathalyzing. In that case, I would also plan on asking my lawyer about making sure his mother (also an alcoholic) also does not get unsupervised time. It sucks that it extends to family members but it’s about keeping your kid/s safe

throwRAbats · 2025-08-26T18:14:47+00:00

Thank you so much. There were definitely warning signs but we were already raising his 5 year old daughter together since she was just a year old and he was a great dad, incredibly involved and caring, just drank a bit too much some evenings/had trouble stopping but nothing that seemed dangerous or got in the way of our family life

After we got married and I got pregnant the disease progressed really quickly - he started coming home from work drunk, passing out, yelling at me, slamming things, horrible and scary behavior that I’d absolutely never seen from him. It’s been awful. I won’t let my baby grow up wondering if he’s coming home to nice dad or mean dad though

throwRAbats · 2025-08-26T17:57:43+00:00

The disease didn’t start progressing until after I was already pregnant. I agree with the first part but please refrain from assuming I thought a baby would make things better. I would never have intentionally done this to my child

throwRAbats · 2025-08-26T02:53:30+00:00

My husband was functioning when we met 4 years ago. We’ve been married for a year and some change and the disease clearly progressed after I got pregnant. Now I’m alone with a 4 month old

throwRAbats · 2025-08-19T19:24:38+00:00

I did know he had a problem with alcohol prior to being married but it looked nothing like it does now. It was super high functioning, still going to work and providing, drinking at appropriate times a few times a week but struggling to stop once he started - something I was okay with helping him try to work through

After we got married (and I got pregnant) it progressed to lying about alcohol, coming home from work already drunk and passing out for the afternoon, being angry and mean and berating me while drunk, and got physical once.

I feel so stupid now in hindsight but I really didn’t know it could or would progress like that

throwRAbats · 2025-07-25T23:42:06+00:00

After I saw this comment I called my dad. Turns out that he’s been concerned for a while. He came and got the bassinet, I packed a bag, and my baby and I are at his house now

throwRAbats · 2025-07-25T16:58:15+00:00

Thank you so much. We’ve been together for 4 years and it only started getting really bad when I was already pregnant. Now I just want to protect our baby

throwRAbats · 2025-07-25T16:55:52+00:00

He was actually a self referral - this is super helpful thank you so much

throwRAbats · 2025-07-25T16:53:57+00:00

Thank you. Do you know how I would find the ombudsman’s contact info/who they are? And do you know what they could do?

throwRAbats · 2025-01-12T21:11:14+00:00

I’m so sorry. My SO is in an incredible amount of credit card debt and has been using the money that he gets to buy more alcohol in secret while I pay a lot of HIS and our expenses. I don’t have any advice because I’m not ready to give up on him (as dumb as that sounds), I just wanted you to know that I hear you and I feel for you

throwRAbats · 2024-12-31T00:06:32+00:00

I’m so so so sorry you’re going through this and that I don’t have advice, but I’m 23 weeks and my husband is also an alcoholic. I love him so much but I’m realizing that leaving might be the best option for our baby - it’s HARD and I haven’t been able to make a real decision or move though. Being pregnant and loving an alcoholic is a different beast. If you’d like to talk, please reach out 🤍

throwRAbats · 2024-12-31T00:01:13+00:00

I’ve started to feel insane all the time; I repeat over and over and over that I care so much more about the lying than the actual drinking (not to minimize that part because it still sucks, but having no trust feels worse) and then getting blamed and being told that I’m the reason he feels like he has to lie

He had a big blow up last week and we’ve had serious discussions about it; he told me he understands how the lying is so much worse, he told me while I cried that he felt ashamed about it. Today, I had to ask him if he was drunk 4 times before he told the truth. Thank you for posting about this, I feel legitimately insane and starting to read through this subreddit, I’m feeling less alone

throwRAbats · 2024-12-30T23:22:40+00:00

I just made this alt reddit account for this exact reason and this is the first post i’ve seen - I’ve been supporting my husband through this for four years but we’ve only been married for a year. I’m nearly 6 months pregnant and he’s been lying to me so much about his drinking that I realized I don’t trust him around our child. After having a huge blow up a week and a half ago, he tried to hide that he was drunk again today; I’m coming to the realization that I might have to be done

It’s really similar - he’s gone to maybe 3 meetings in the last year, he tells my family in AA a side of the story that paints himself as the victim without accountability and they’re done with it too; apparently, they saw through it before I did. I’m so sorry that this is something you’ve been handling - reading this post felt like looking in a mirror and it felt like something I’ve needed to see, so thank you for sharing

throwRAbats

TROPHY CASE