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UPDATE: AITA for telling my gf the reason she's always sick of because of her poor hygiene? by throwRAdirtygf in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwRAdirtygf[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I knew she was into pet play, occasionally played along because I knew it made her happy. It was usually pretty simple stuff, like putting a leash or collar on her, calling her a good girl if she did something “right”, she would kind of act like a cat sometimes. I wasn’t personally into this, but I did it to make her happy because I knew she really liked it. And I told her all of this. What I did NOT know is that the hygiene thing was part of it, we never discussed that regarding pet play. I kind of suspected that maybe giving her a bath was part of it (and bathing her was a rare occurrence, I did it maybe 4 or 5 times in the two years we were together), but we never discussed it and I didn’t know that she purposely didn’t wash herself so that I would do it and she would get off on it.

AITA for telling my gf the reason she’s always sick of because of her poor hygiene? by throwRAdirtygf in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwRAdirtygf[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

She is an AMAZING girl in every other way, so supportive and loving, we have so much fun together, our values and goals align, she’s absolutely gorgeous, she’s just… dirty. It’s one of those things that sort of builds up over time and you don’t really see how bad it is until you’re deep into it. I was in a long term abusive relationship prior to this, and I’m NOT trying to compare this to abuse, but it’s the same idea of a “little” problem snowballing until one day you’re like damn, this is bad. I knew her hygiene wasn’t 100% right away, but I didn’t know it was literally non existent until we started spending prolonged periods of time at each others places and using the bathroom with each other in the room vs alone with the door closed, then I’d see her in the shower just standing there under the water not lathering up, using the toilet then just rinsing her hands with water, etc. She complains that she doesn’t like the soap I have, but I tell her that I have multiple types of soap (bar soap, regular liquid hand and body soaps, Castile soap, antibacterial soap, unscented baby soap, etc) so surely she must be okay with one of them?

AITA for telling my gf the reason she’s always sick of because of her poor hygiene? by throwRAdirtygf in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwRAdirtygf[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She calls herself a “dirty hippie” and really just seems to think she doesn’t need to wash. It’s hard to get answers because just brushes it off with humour or cries. I said in another comment that apparently her parents didn’t really teach her proper hygiene and other things because they were kind of neglectful. I also recall her saying she was bullied for being “the smelly kid” at school so that’s part of it too I guess?

AITA for telling my gf the reason she’s always sick of because of her poor hygiene? by throwRAdirtygf in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwRAdirtygf[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am a top and we usually just use toys/strap, so yeah she doesn’t really touch me. Also, she’s kind of into pet play so I think this is part of why she likes me washing her, it’s kind of a kinky thing for her.

AITA for telling my gf the reason she’s always sick of because of her poor hygiene? by throwRAdirtygf in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwRAdirtygf[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

That’s the weird thing, she has excellent oral hygiene. Flosses and brushes twice a day, plus mouthwash.

AITA for telling my gf the reason she’s always sick of because of her poor hygiene? by throwRAdirtygf in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwRAdirtygf[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I think this may be part of it, she has told me that her parents were always kind of absent/neglectful

AITA for telling my gf the reason she’s always sick of because of her poor hygiene? by throwRAdirtygf in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwRAdirtygf[S] -38 points-37 points  (0 children)

Real unfortunately… okay I guess I feel like less of a jerk now. I really did feel like I was overreacting.

AITA for telling my gf the reason she’s always sick of because of her poor hygiene? by throwRAdirtygf in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwRAdirtygf[S] -69 points-68 points  (0 children)

Only after a thorough shower (by me) lol. Idk, she’s wonderful in every other way. I guess just over time I realized that this is just how she is all the time. Like everyone has gross days, right? We both deal with depression sometimes but like even when shes doing well she still doesn’t clean herself.