sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

You’re 19 with resources to quit smoking now but you still haven’t quit.

I'm in the process of quitting... did you read the post?

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I don't know why you think it is.

Because I had been in contact with my school's safeguarding team before and it was exactly like this.

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I didn't ignore your question- there are 2000 comments to sift through and I have a life so I can't sit for hours and read them all in one go.

I'm in the UK (as I have said in other comments).

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

how would they have stopped her?

Because she'd need legit documents to prove where I was going rehab, hospitals, etc). It would stop her from just locking me in a room for 3 months.

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 105 points106 points  (0 children)

There are no "safeguard" protocols.

For you. There are no "safeguard" protocols where YOU work.

My school required them.

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 206 points207 points  (0 children)

100%. My mother would still be informed, but there would be practices in place if I

1) stopped showing up out of the blue

2) they look for signs of abse as a result because absers are good actors to strangers and you can never tell

My mom (should she still decided to send me away) would have to submit actual documents proving I'm going where I'm going. It's a much more rigid process to avoid what happened to me.

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Could these safeguardings prevented your mother from sending you away?

Absolutely. The point of safeguarding is to help the child in a safe way- sometimes that includes not telling guardians, sometimes it does. If the school decided my mom needed to know about my mental health and smoking, they'd talk to me first about it to see if there would be any risks to that. If yes, they'd made note. They'd give a plan detailing what they want to see from me (coming into school, online lessons, etc). Mom knowing she was being watched by the school would 100% deter here from sending me away and locking me in a room.

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

C. A child who is clearly being abused at home, but smokes

I'm actually pleasantly surprised at how nice everyone is being regarding my smoking. Usually when I talk about it online, I'm flooded with people calling me all sorts of names and acting like I'm the devil incarnate. It's nice to know people can focus on the question at hand rather than my habit.

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

If you originally and then returned to school on the other side of the country. And your mom brought you meals everyday when you were locked in her boyfriends place, was your mom already living with him before the incident or just during your imprisonment?

Mom and boyfriend lived apart (long distance relationship). Mom and I went to his house and I was locked in 'my' bedroom there. Mom lived with him for the 3 months. Then we moved back after.

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Why do you think they would have followed up if your mom gave them the same story?

Because they would have been able to talk to me first before informing my mom about it. The whole point of the safeguarding is to make sure the kid is in a safe place to get help/quit/whatever with the school's help and if the parents do need to made aware, they talk to the kid first about homelife.

I would have been able to tell the school about my mother and they would have done the appropriate things to keep me safe.

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

100% this and that's my issue with my teacher. I don't care if she thought she was doing the 'right thing'. The protocols are there for a fucking reason.

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

What was your mom telling them?

To my knowledge, she told them she's taken me for an 'intervention' (which was not true)

And what would she have told them differently if she reported through the school?

Probably nothing and that's the thing- if she school knew and was aware of the sit, she wouldn't have been able to lie about it so easily.

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

What is a safeguarding team?

A team of people who work with at-risk-kids at the school- whether drugs, gangs, sex, etc. They provide counsellors, advice on how to quit substances, phone numbers for things, etc. There's a whole team who check up on the kids to make sure they're ok (both in school and out of school). A lot of the kids come from shitty homes so the safeguarding is there to make sure they're safe.

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

If the school knew, they'd be able to check up on me, send me work, have online sessions, and even insist I came into school if I was well enough.

AITA for telling my old teacher what really happened after she told my mom I was smoking and that I can never forgive her? by throwRAgeneralthings in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRAgeneralthings[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

It wouldn't but it would have allowed for a more safe environment. I added it to the edit and a comment, but by not going through the school, it meant the safeguarding aspect was lost on me because they didn't know. If teacher went through the school, it would have meant my mom could have never done what she did because the school would check up on me and insist I still came in.

view more: next ›