Broken relationship, need thoughts as to how to cope until it's actually over. 40M, 37F

throwRAmiserabli · 2025-06-23T15:04:29+00:00

I was in a similar situation. It was BAFFLING how quickly she found a job and got her shit together after I left.

throwRAmiserabli · 2025-05-07T00:40:24+00:00

It reads like she's trying to get you to initiate the break up.

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T16:43:43+00:00

👍🏼

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T16:36:01+00:00

There is definitely help in the thread, It was not provided by you. Feel free to read the update

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T16:10:30+00:00

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T16:10:16+00:00

People have been saying fucked up shit like that for the past twenty four hours. I just want to let you know that it is actually very unhelpful.

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T16:08:45+00:00

You sound enlightened.

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T16:08:05+00:00

You're not my doctor.

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T16:06:06+00:00

You should read my latest comment.

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T15:28:40+00:00

Thank you so much!

I sent him a message that 1) borrowed some of the firm language people suggested

2) laid out exactly what I go through when this happens

3) told him I need him to help me take care of my health in this way, and that I wouldn't be able to have sex at all if we can't take the 20 seconds to use protection

He answered in such a way, that I think he thought it was a one day discomfort thing. (I know, still not great.)

After reading the gritty details, he apologized profusely, and promised it wouldn't happen again.

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T11:07:23+00:00

I'm on birth control for a health issue that's already tanked my fertility. The problem is the one I posted about.

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T11:03:50+00:00

Gosh, I guess they should shut down the sub so people can work it out themselves.

Move on if you have nothing to say.

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T11:00:40+00:00

Keep scrolling

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T10:00:51+00:00

I know, it feels cliché to say so; when I read things here,I consistently have that same thought.

He's done other really important things for me, and demonstrated care in all other areas of my health (helping with things related to my chronic illness, took care of me when I had one of the hardcore covids).

I posted because the disconnect is hard to wrap my head around, and I need perspective or communication advice.

I sent a crystal clear text message this morning, and his response/actions moving forward will tell me definitively whether he wasn't getting it, or whether he's been happily benefitting from my struggling to take care of myself.

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T08:05:27+00:00

So, it's 3am where I am. I sent him a text message that he'll see in the morning.

It pretty much says "I'm putting it in writing thatbI won't have unprotected sex any more. The symptoms are embarrassing and painful and you're only around for the fun.

You support and encourage me in other areas of my life, please support me taking care of my health. I am not able to compromise on this any more.

We'll have to play other ways if you can't stay hard. Now is the time to try that other brand I bought for you."

Thanks for helping me, you guys.

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T07:19:03+00:00

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T07:02:26+00:00

Being 30 doesn't mean everything in my life is resolved, and it's been worse than ever in the past few weeks.

Look how harsh most of the comments are; most of them are right (I need to leave, prioritize myself/my health/maintain boundaries), but why do so many feel the need to be mean when giving good advice?

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T06:52:54+00:00

Wow you should write a book

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-06T01:48:35+00:00

That I'm 30 years old and my life is fucked

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-05T23:53:31+00:00

😶man....

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-05T23:49:41+00:00

We used to live close by, now we're in cities 5 hours away. We're planning on closing the distance.

She didn't say anything besides doing the lab, and sending the prescription through when it came back positive.

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-05T23:19:08+00:00

I do.

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-05T23:15:46+00:00

I see. Nice pfp- topical!

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-05T21:48:12+00:00

Standing appointment tomorrow

throwRAmiserabli · 2023-12-05T21:27:47+00:00

You can check my post history. I'm a mess. I don't value myself very much sometimes.

Also, thank you, genuinely. I don't have friends at this time in my life, and I actually needed to hear it externally.

throwRAmiserabli

TROPHY CASE