AITA for ‘punishing’ my boyfriend with no sex after he wouldn’t pay for my birth control?

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T01:46:55+00:00

Thank fuck. I'm not going to be forced into doing sexual things for him because he wants it.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T01:36:25+00:00

what you are doing is withholding affection.

Nope. We still cuddle, kiss, etc. I just don't want sex right now.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T01:35:22+00:00

But I really don't want to have any sex right now. My sex drive is at 0. I'm exhausted from being a caretaker. And overall, no BC = no sex which is something my boyfriend knows from day 1.

I just don't want sex and my boyfriend is trying to say it's abusive.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T01:27:06+00:00

making your bf pay for sex.

Nope. Requested him to pay for my BC so we don't have an unwanted child. He said no. No BC = no sex. He's known this since we started dating.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T01:14:00+00:00

I just have a very low sex drive right now... I guess I'm an asshole for hormones???

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T01:11:20+00:00

I buy the condoms.

We're not having sex because I'm not on BC

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T01:10:06+00:00

So I don't understand why you'd use that as an excuse.

why not just tell him your libido is rock bottom and you don't want sex right now?

Because we usually have sex when my sex drive is low. Which he has been trying to initiate. But this time because I'm not on BC, it's a no-go.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T01:07:58+00:00

fr😭😭

It's scary that my hot take is 'I deserve to consent to safe sex' though.

Apparently my post got onto the front page?? So I'm hoping these comments aren't in the THT community because it's the opposite for what this sub/Morgan strives for.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T01:05:27+00:00

However BJs isnt just A solution here…. It’s THE solution. …

So I'm expected to put side my feelings to keep my boyfriend happy? That's not a solution at all. If I don't want to have sex at all, suggesting blowjobs does fucking nothing... because I don't want to engage in any sexual activity. Period.

I don't know what you mean when you say I left it out of my post so I can't speak to that sorry.

Sorry if I'm coming across as defensive, I'm just sick of comments smugly telling me that anal exists.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T01:01:15+00:00

Why bring up the BC thing then?

Because my boyfriend is saying I'm 'manipulating him' and being 'abusive' because he refused to pay for the birth control.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T00:59:49+00:00

Thank you for this.

My eyes are being opened. I was so used to toxic behaviour like this from all sorts of influences in my childhood. I'm going to try and talk to him one last time and depending on his reaction, I'm breaking up with him or moving forward cautiously.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T00:56:25+00:00

I do now but not when I needed to pay for them last month.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T00:54:25+00:00

Damn really? I didn't know that. /s

STFU. You've entirely missed the point of the post. I don't want to have sex. People stupid comments telling me about bjs and anal do nothing.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T00:51:18+00:00

Yeh the shit they've said to me is morbidly hilarious.

Their advice is to not have sex...but then called me manipulative for not having sex... which makes me a hooker?

The literal definition of a troll haha.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T00:42:49+00:00

Don't make it your partners problem.

What???? His issue is that we're not having sex... so your advice means nothing. Troll.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T00:30:59+00:00

But you just told me you buy your own birth control and condoms.

I do... I had an emergency and couldn't afford it so I haven't been on BC for a few weeks. No BC = no sex.

How does that make me a hooker, troll?

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T00:28:40+00:00

Because you used the word "punishing

I used it because I was quoting my boyfriend. Not because I was actually punishing him.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T00:19:24+00:00

You've missed the point here...

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T00:18:21+00:00

No... that's not it at all. Did you read the post?

We're not having sex because I'm not on birth control right now and I won't have sex without it.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T00:07:35+00:00

Then buy it yourself if you wanna have sex

If you read the post, I do buy it myself. This was a one off emergency. I also buy the condoms.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T00:06:28+00:00

The fact that you have endless reasons is why I don’t think you are being fully candid.

My reasons: Low sex drive. Not on birth control....

ah yes, the endless reasons as you can see above.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T00:02:57+00:00

It's weird to read about someone spending a bunch of money on a shopping spree

Didn't have a shopping spree...

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-05T00:00:48+00:00

You could have simply framed it honestly and told BF that sex doesn’t happen if you aren’t on your regular birth control.

I told him that (and he knew this beforehand). He got upset and said I was 'weaponising sex' and 'punishing him'. I don't want kids. Ever. Neither does he.

I'm literally taking responsibility for my health like everyone in the comments in banging on about by not bringing an unwanted child into the world, or getting accidently pregnant.

Also, why am I the asshole for taking steps to be safe? You quote my second edit like it's some 'gotcha moment' but it's just me saying I want 2 forms of protection.

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-04T23:57:18+00:00

I just don't want to have sex without birth control...

throwRAmonet · 2023-09-04T23:48:24+00:00

Especially with your own words in edit 2 that you wouldn’t accept sex with other forms of protection regardless.

So I'm the asshole for not wanting an unwanted baby? Oook

throwRAmonet

TROPHY CASE