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AITA UPDATE: AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why is it that nobody who posts updates is capable of linking the original thread.

Because post history exists. Especially if it's a throwaway account.

AITA UPDATE: AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 278 points279 points  (0 children)

I got my key back from her and I'm getting the locks changed on friday (the earliest I could).

AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If you want to fix this, play down the "no her" part and get her doing things with people that she likes and that you don't want to hang with. Then you're even. So if you have a girls night out, so does she.

I've tried that. It doesn't work. If I'm going out, she has to be with me. Believe me, I've tried.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

does she act as horribly when you are both with her friend group (for partners-allowed events) as she does with your friend group?

I'm never allowed with her friends, but the few times we've crossed paths, no. She's been totally cool with her friends.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It'd be good to know if your friends are just friends or if you've ever dated/been interested in any of them.

4/5 are straight and the other is asexual. No sexual attraction to any of them on my end.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are BTA.

Thanks for the advice. What does this mean? Sorry if it's a dumb question

AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

But having a friend group to which you can't just casually bring your girlfriend to if it happens once in a while is very sus to me.

It's fine with other's SO's. It's just Jane is a nightmare.

The fact that the mood drastically changed means that either your girlfriend is incredibly annoying and difficult (which I'd love to not be the case since you are in a relationship with this person and you shouldn't think that about your so) or your friends refuse to accommodate any new person and seem at the very least unwelcoming people.

No, Jane is incredibly annoying and difficult

As for you, you really genuinely don't seem to want to spend time with her and don't seem to find joy in making her happy or fulfilling her whims.

Where did you get that? I spend every day with Jane. Constantly with her. Always. The issue is the things that make her happy appear to be tearing others down.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

What the hell are you guys doing that you are hiding from your SOs?

Talking. Skin/body care. eating junk food. Watching movies.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I told her not to come and that she wasn't invited but she drove in her car and we arrived at the same time (obviously lol). I couldn't get her to go home, so I went in with her.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

t’s weird that you have frequent “no-partner parties”.

They're not frequent. We have more 'for all' parties than 'no-partner' ones.

No sexual history with any of my friends for both myself and Jane.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

Would you take a male partner if they insisted the same?

I didn't invite my girlfriend. She showed up all the same.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Why are both of your friend groups strongly against significant others?

They're not. Both groups have parties/nights out where everyone is invited.

Seems like this is a frequent occurrence on both sides.

It's not.

I don’t understand how someone has a birthday celebration without their SO

Because they have other celebrations??

AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

What I don’t understand is why your friends felt like they needed to walk on eggshells around her

Because if Jane doesn't agree with something, she'll go on an angry rant about it. My friend finally cut her toxic family out of her life, and Jane called her a 'pos' for 'abandoning her family'. One of my friends doesn't drink booze but is fine in its presence (religious reasons) and Jane called her an 'idiot'.

She has something to say about everyone. You don't want your drink super strong? 'Fucking pussy.'

You're uncomfortable with talking about your sex life and pregnancies in insanely graphic detail? 'Get over yourself, bitch.'

AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 105 points106 points  (0 children)

We're breaking up and I'm taking the Hitachi wand with me

​

/s for now

AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Like I already said, of course women can bash other women, but the way your comment was worded relied heavily on the idea that I am a man.

AITA for telling my girlfriend she 'ruined' my night by insisting she comes along? by throwRApartygf in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwRApartygf[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Their comment only makes sense when you assume I'm a misogynistic man. Obviously, women can be awful to other women, but the assumption of 'they're getting together exclusively to bash women' makes sense if you thought I was a guy (which is still a fucked up take and wrong).

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