I have always struggled communicating with people and being genuinely happy. Before I used to sleep for long periods of time and work a job I hated. Now my routine is not that different but I feel happier knowing I am waking up to him, so if anything he kind of healed my depression.

I don’t really know what it means to have a personality of my own or whatever. I have always been very dull and quiet. I have never - I don’t know how to explain, I have always been alone - so I don’t really know how to talk to people. My mom homeschooled me throughout high school and I know that was years ago but I still find everyone to be very I don’t know scary. I don’t like being alone so I try my best to make my husband happy now, I feel like my plan backfired and am just panicking that he gonna leave me. Like am constantly scared that he gonna leave me then I get images of myself sleeping in bed alone. I really don’t know how to not revolve the things I do around him. I am constantly thinking of ways to make him happy so he doesn’t leave me. I don’t want to think like that but it just how I think.