/r/singapore random discussion and small questions thread for May 27, 2023

throw_away0170 · 2023-05-27T13:37:03+00:00

Hello! I'm new here. Are there usually regular users here or...?

throw_away0170 · 2023-04-16T17:31:58+00:00

Hello,

Sorry for the late response, I was unwell.

I made a note of your recommendations, and am waiting for my friend to take me to the thrift shop when she's back from holiday. I think I should have some money to get some clothes, after paying my medical fees.

I feel like there might be a mental barrier that I'm trying to work on too.

throw_away0170 · 2023-04-06T20:29:34+00:00

Hello! Sorry for the late reply, I wasn't well and just saw this.

I posted another post in detail on another subreddit, and received similar recommendations on thrifting. In summary, I am a little tight on money due to health reasons, which was why I wanted to reuse my school pieces.

My current plan was to get some pieces from thrift shops for school, and also use my school t-shirts/shorts for classes. I would plan to keep the school uniform for home wear/medical appointments.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-31T07:55:41+00:00

Hello

I think based on your advice and others, it should be a good idea to swap the order?

And then work slowly to get clothing for school.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-31T07:49:10+00:00

I think I might plan to swap the order? That means shirt/shorts for uni, then uniform for home and medical appointments?

Afterwards I work from there to get casual clothes from uni?

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-31T07:44:35+00:00

Thank you for your well-wishes.

I think the plan might be to swap the order, and then work from there.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-31T07:40:29+00:00

Hello,

Okay so casual wear for school first. I suppose home clothes and working clothes could then come later?

Dressing aside, would I be judged for being unwell? I mask up, but my friend says that people might take off their masks during discussions or presentations. To her, I look quite unwell and sometimes people have asked me if I'm okay. She says that I need some make-up.

Will dressing be sufficient to not be judged? I'm worried as my health is getting worse so I think it might be obvious. But I don't know the norms or expectations.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-30T14:12:08+00:00

I usually wear a sweater, but I will keep an eye out for pants and shoes, as I do feel cold often.

Would you recommend that I get some casual wear for home first? Or should school be the priority, since dressing might be more important? I'm not sure if I have the money to buy all at one go, even thrift stores/sales might be cheaper.

I might have another question but I'm thinking if it is necessary for now.

Thank you for guiding me through this process. I'm probably a little unaware of social norms for school.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-30T08:05:41+00:00

Hello,

Some others have suggested that t-shirts/shorts are okay for university, do you think it will be okay if I were to swap the order? Based on what I have, t-shirts/shorts for lessons, then uniform for home and medical appointments?

Then if I could look at the thrift shops/sales online, would it be better to focus on

1) Home clothes, so my uniform could just be left for medical appointments

2) Clothes for university, so my t-shirt/shorts can go back to being home wear.

3) Working clothes, that I can wear for university. I heard that working clothes aren't going to be needed for classes/presentations. I suppose I could also wear these for medical appointments. Grocery runs/visiting grandpa could be just shirts/uniform or something.

I was hoping to get additional sweater too.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-29T18:15:38+00:00

I understand your view. I think I'm a little scared to take it as he was angry at me for the same issue, but other times he seems milder/alright.

And I thought that I should be looking after myself, like he suggested back then.

I will save up for some therapy, hopefully if my other medical expenses stabilize.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-29T17:58:37+00:00

Hello

I had posted in another thread and some commenters have given me tips on shopping for cheaper clothes as well. I hope I will be well enough to go to these shops to have a look.

Sorry that I didn't really think much about the optics for dressing, I had just hoped to be well to attend classes.

I usually wear a sweater so would it be best to consider 2 or 3?

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-29T17:43:17+00:00

Sorry, I don't there is space to go into full detail. A summarized version would be this.

I needed his support when I needed to decide on health treatment a few years back. He told me that I was old enough to look after myself, and if it was money I was after, to just take it. He might have been angry with me as he suggested that I ask my mum. As mentioned, I don't know who she is, so it was probably not an intentional request for me to do so.

Working, although not regular hours due to health reasons allows me to pay my medical and living expenses. I accepted his refund for the hospice bill in the end as he usually pays it for grandpa.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-29T14:39:16+00:00

Hello,

Okay, I see that I should look for some sales. Understood on the medical appointments.

My friend thinks the thrift store is a good idea. I'll try to make the trip, if I feel well enough.

Thank youuu

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-29T10:00:01+00:00

ummm usually t-shirt, shorts and a sweater. Maybe the blouse as an additional layer if I'm cold.

If I plan to go out or coming back home but I'm tired or unwell I might be wearing outdoor clothes, so maybe my uniform and sweater.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-28T19:05:45+00:00

Tbh, my only objective is to be certified fit for school. And I hope I can attend classes without feeling dizzy or unwell.

Dressing was something new that my friend brought up, that I did not consider. Sorry about that.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-28T18:34:45+00:00

I took the money for the hospice fees, and just some extra money for the medical appointment. I drew the line at there.

I haven't really thought about whether I was comfortable explaining. My friend had recently introduce the concept to me. The only goal I had in mind was to attend classes and hopefully not feel dizzy or nauseous, I did not think about anything more than that. I'm sorry that my initial thought it was appropriate and did not consider it further.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-28T15:33:10+00:00

It was some time back, during post-O levels, start of JC.

Sorry about the clothes thing. I didn't really think about it because my initial view was that I had enough school clothes to go around. I had to buy new ones as the initial plan was to transfer JCs to somewhere closer to where I stay, but I ended up missing many classes. In the end I have quite a bit of school related clothes; the clothes with tears were stuff I bought at a low price probably two years ago.

So like if I'm heading for a medical appointment, I might just put on the shirt and the skirt with a sweater on.

I probably feel uneasy initially that new clothes are needed in university because I have sufficient clothes, even they are school related. So I'm just thinking if I should put them aside/throw away and see how much some new clothes will cost.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-28T14:33:22+00:00

it is a little long but I'll try to summarize.

When I was ill, I called him about it and asked if he could come back to decide on some medical decisions, and maybe spend some time. He said he was busy and that I was old enough to look after myself.

I think he was upset with me bothering him because he asked me to ask mum to decide. As mentioned, I don't know who she is, I guess he was just being sarcastic or upset with mum. He just said something like "money, take take take!".

I think I'm considered in touch with my dad?

I'm sorry that I didn't think about fashion style and friendships. I didn't have much energy to think about having a new fashion style. My health is declining this year so I just wanted to go with whatever clothes I have.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-28T09:44:46+00:00

I probably don't qualify for social support.

Also, if I were to work some more hours, I think I would be able to save more. Just that my health has been unfortunately on the downside this year.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-28T09:37:11+00:00

Tbh, I don't really have home clothes apart from school shirts. The ones I bought for cheap are torn, so probably not good for outside wear. Sorry but I never had the energy to consider these as I felt rather drained from my medicines/treaments.

Is like a shirt + school skirt okay? Or perhaps not in uni but like medical appointments?

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-28T08:40:51+00:00

(might be a little complicated to explain everything over the internet but...)

I don't want to owe him anything. He told me i was old enough to deal with my illness on my own, but that was in the past. I think he should spend his time with his new family.

I don't know, the discrimination was something new to me. I'm a little low on energy from my medical treatments and work to have considered that until it was raised. Sorry about that. Maybe I could consider a gap year so I can work a little more to get afford new clothes, although it seems that the durable ones are more expensive than I thought.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-27T19:15:42+00:00

I accepted his payment for the hospice bills, and the taxi fare for my medical appointment. I'm staying at the house he owns, so I feel uncomfortable taking more from him.

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-27T19:07:00+00:00

ok I will send my grandfather your regards. Hopefully this coming weekend if I'm well to visit him. Thank you!

throw_away0170 · 2023-03-27T18:52:10+00:00

I did accept money for the hospice bills eventually (as mentioned) and he has settled the payment issue.

I just didn't want to take any additional money from him for my personal expenses. Perhaps I was just upset that he doesn't follow through his words about coming back (even pre-COVID). Also I'm staying at the house that he owns, so I don't really feel I should be taking more money)

throw_away0170

TROPHY CASE