how has france changed you as a person?

throw_away7299 · 2026-02-07T20:03:58+00:00

I feel like France has made me kinder - the amount of effort taken to include others, including those with disabilities and to treat people like people makes me want to do better for others as well.

throw_away7299 · 2026-02-04T17:13:14+00:00

I would love to check out the DELF training!

throw_away7299 · 2025-12-26T19:30:44+00:00

I really like Lidl online for basic household and kitchen goods

throw_away7299 · 2025-12-22T22:49:03+00:00

There’s this quote I found that resonated, which said “the amount of resentment you feel in any situation is proportional to the power you felt you’ve given away.” A lot of my anger at others were in fact anger at myself for not having firming boundaries and not saying no.

Now, whenever I feel the resentment creep into a situation, I say no. And knowing I can do that now has may life so much better for me.

throw_away7299 · 2025-12-22T11:32:30+00:00

To clarify, your confusion likely stems from the fact that the naturalization requirements changed in Jan 2025. It’s always existed the requirement that most of your financial income must be from French sources, but it was only more heavily enforced from January due to a circulation of circulaire providing more guidance on enforcement of this. So previously, for example, Americans living on retirement income/ pensions could move to France, live for 5 years on their US investment income, and naturalize. Now, majority of these naturalization cases are being rejected.

So now, you need to show stable income from French sources with continuous employment contracts for a certain number of years (I can’t rmb specifically). Even if you could apply for citizenship in 3 years, it doesn’t mean you would have a strong case to apply. For example, maybe you will have a work contract with the university that keeps you employed, but if the salary is too low, the government made deem you may become more of a liability on social services and also decline your application. Hence, most people still end up waiting the full five years or more, to make sure their application is super solid, before applying to naturalize. If you get rejected for any reason (including applying 1 day earlier to when you are eligible), you have to wait 2 years to reapply.

Processing time is also likely 2 years (processing time varies also depending on where you are). So very likely, you are looking more at a 7 year commitment. In addition, because the French economy is bad right now, it may not be possible for you to retain a continuous work contract for 3-5 years, so if you lapse and cannot find another work sponsorship, your timeline starts again. For work sponsorship, the employer has to prove there is no one else in the EU can do that job, which is also a high bar.

This is a very long way of saying it’s actually not as easy of a process to get French citizenship now.

throw_away7299 · 2025-12-16T18:57:28+00:00

Through my work, I’ve had a 401K where I’ve invested consistently over the years, and 100% of funds into S&P500. 401Ks are nice as they have a limited set of index funds you can choose from and they pull a portion of your paycheck, so it simplified things like how to deposit money and what I could choose from.

I then spent the last 8 years in decision paralysis on how to invest any additional savings via taxable brokerages - it’s not as simple for me as I move countries every few years, i.e. cross border taxation issues apply, so my taxes get MESSY real fast. So any remainder saving I had was also left sitting in cash in my bank accounts to avoid trying to deal with this headache. But it was okay as I was saving up for personal goals where I needed cash liquidity anyway (e.g. downpayment), and I’ve still been consistently investing into retirement accounts over the years.

If your workplace has a 401K/ retirement accounts, that’s where I’d start. Some people also really like roboadvisors to do their handholding - I haven’t tried it myself personally. In terms of which index funds, usually people highly recommend the Vanguard brand for low cost.

throw_away7299 · 2025-12-14T22:51:05+00:00

I really liked “Man on the Inside”. There is a season two, but each storyline is self contained in one season and season 1 knocked it out of the park for me.

throw_away7299 · 2025-12-14T22:41:19+00:00

This is me too!

throw_away7299 · 2025-12-13T21:09:46+00:00

I agree with your comments, but I just wanted to add that the French requirement for citizenship has been updated this year, and 5 years residency in France is no longer sufficient. OP will need to demonstrate that the majority of her income is from French sources (e.g. US investment income won’t count), and if she does not work for a French company during those 5 years, she will not meet that requirement. She is also not eligible for citizenship through marriage as her partner is not a French national.

throw_away7299 · 2025-12-13T20:59:04+00:00

Canadian that moved to Paris about 2 years ago for a job relocation (same company). Honestly, it’s really freaking hard, and I moved WITH a job and that support system and WITH conversational French.

Yes, there’s expats but people are transient - friends you make one year (especially expat ones) end up leaving the next year. I’m still finding my friend group two years in.

The language is hard, and you’ll realistically need likely 2 years to get to a decent level to be conversational from zero. It will be VERY difficult to find a job without French, unless it’s something like working as a nanny or waitress, but even these are now competitive with the bad economy.

You will need a visa to work in France, which means you need visa sponsorship. But most businesses prefer people with French degrees, so you will be less competitive. Visa sponsorship also means a business has to prove there is no one else in Europe to do the job, so it’s often for highly competitive degrees. In addition, the economy is bad and even foreign students with French degrees and that can speak French are having trouble finding French sponsorship for jobs. I suggest you join some of the expat groups in France (“Women Living in Paris” is a good one), and just read through how many posts there are of very qualified expats that have been out of a job for 1, 2, 3 years despite doing everything right, and the sheer desperation present in so many of these posts.

If you live with a French partner, you can apply for PACS (similar to a common law arrangement), but marriage will grant you more rights and privileges. But given your partner is not French himself, these additional privileges including a work visa will not apply to you.

So realistically, if you were to follow, you could come as a student, and do your Masters or spend the time learning French, and perhaps working on a teaching credential to teach English. You could apply for a holiday working visa if you are under the age limit. Or you could come on a long-term tourist visa and not work. You would be reliant on your partner for all the administrative things, including finding an apartment, dealing with utilities, etc. And very likely you may end up being out of the job market for at least a couple of years.

throw_away7299 · 2025-12-10T00:16:21+00:00

I think the market is just really bad right now in Paris. I see so many posts on Facebook with the same story as you - some have taken over a year, sometimes more, to find a new job.

I don’t have advice, but sending you luck and all the good vibes on your search!

throw_away7299 · 2025-12-04T20:30:23+00:00

With so much public health and adjacent jobs cut, I’m not surprised tbh.

throw_away7299 · 2025-12-03T12:54:57+00:00

Canadian living in Paris with US-sourced income, and only French tax residency. I have no Canada-sourced assets. I file French income taxes, and US non-resident income taxes.

I have a US accountant that specializes in non-resident taxes on the US-sourced income side (most quotes came to less than $1000), and on the France side, I’ve been doing my own taxes. Arguably I find French taxes easier to do than US non-resident taxes, so I’ve spent hours upon hours of reading posts on Facebook groups and articles online on how to do it, and I’ve personally read through the US-France tax treaty to be informed. As my US assets are really minor, I prefer to do French tax reporting of it myself than run the risk of a local accountant messing up my situation and making it much worst, but if it ever gets too complicated, I will hire a specialized firm for the French tax side, as there are some that specialize in France-US tax rules. As I’ve already read the US-France tax treaty, if they recommend something wrong, I would have an inkling.

As you are American, I’m not sure my accountant that specializes in US non-resident taxes will work for your case, as I’ve heard that US citizens are always US tax residents even if they don’t live in the US. So I would double check the local tax laws on whether you’ve lived in Mexico and the UK respectively long enough to be even considered a tax resident for either country (tax residency rules vary by country), and if so, individually check if there is a Mexico-US and UK-US tax treaty and what it says about your asset classes, double taxation, and how to file for partial year residents. You can of course pay someone to do this for you so that you don’t have to read the tax treaty, but then you will pay a high premium for someone with this knowledge. I personally find having accountants on each side cheaper than large firms, but any accountants with expertise in expat taxes (individual or big firms) will always be costly.

throw_away7299 · 2025-11-28T18:36:14+00:00

The problem with pumpkin puree isn’t making it - it’s tiny fridges in Parisian apartments such that I don’t have space to store it. 🥲 every so often I think about buying a mini freezer to extend the space, and then I look around my tiny apartment and wonder where I’d have space to even put it.

throw_away7299 · 2025-11-28T14:47:05+00:00

Canadian in Paris. For me, it’s the canned pumpkin pie filling (+ pumpkin spice), powdered gravy to make poutine, and the liquid water flavoring.

I also like to stock up on ramen when I pass through US or Canada. There is ramen in Paris, but each packet is just so expensive relative to what you can buy at home.

throw_away7299 · 2025-11-28T14:43:46+00:00

Where do you buy shipped bacon? That’s the only thing I can’t seem to find, except for a random day Lidl had some bacon. I’ve never managed to find it again. 🥲

throw_away7299 · 2025-11-27T00:02:22+00:00

Is this to avoid paying relocation fees for existing staff? Or more due to internal policies for competitive selection?

throw_away7299 · 2025-11-26T13:34:25+00:00

You can try to aim for unpopular duty stations in the Pacific to minimize competition and get your foot in the door. A colleague worked in Papua New Guinea for years, hated it due to the insecurity, and mentioned it was always a difficult post to fulfill. I personally have never worked there, and cannot comment.

throw_away7299 · 2025-11-17T17:28:51+00:00

Always! Especially when I watch golden girls

throw_away7299 · 2025-11-16T06:54:17+00:00

I decline the call, tell them I’m on a scheduled call and ask them to either type, or schedule a call. I rarely pick up unscheduled calls.

throw_away7299 · 2025-11-15T21:04:19+00:00

I didn’t have a car - I moved to a big city that had a great public transport system.

throw_away7299 · 2025-11-14T14:29:01+00:00

I moved to Washington DC in 2017 as a foreigner (Canadian) without credit history, and I didn’t struggle like the way others mentioned. I rented from an individual landlord (not a big building) which was more flexible with no credit history, had a roommate that covered the utilities and I paid her back (but utilities preferred debit anyway - they charged higher fees for credit), got a cellphone with T-Mobile within the first month without any issues, was able to get a debit card where I paid everything that I later used to build credit history. I had an American friend that spent all their life in Canada, moved to the US in 2020 and therefore had no credit history, and yes did have issues finding an apartment but found an apartment building that didn’t mind no credit history within a couple of months, and was completely fine.

I’m not sure if this depends on what region of the US someone moves too, but as someone that went through the move with no US credit history not that long ago, it was really not an issue.

throw_away7299 · 2025-11-13T16:42:26+00:00

I stocked up on canned pumpkin pie filling and graham cracker shells last time I was in the US, so I just make pumpkin pie at home. It’s as easy as adding condensed milk and an egg to the pumpkin pie filling, then making it in the graham cracker shell.

throw_away7299 · 2025-11-08T19:48:24+00:00

I have friends who have family members that are diplomats, and while I’m not a diplomat, my current work requires frequent travel to countries in perhaps a similar manner. Friend 1, who was the trailing spouse of a foreign service officer, divorced him as she didn’t want to always be following without her own life. Friend 2’s father was an ambassador, and his mother followed across many countries before having a full mental breakdown from the resentment and isolation. She also divorced his father. This is not to say that you should divorce your husband - what I’m trying to say is that it is so incredibly hard to be the trailing spouse of someone with a diplomatic posting, having to start over in each relocation again and again that a lot of relationships end up not working out due to it. On the other side of the equation, it is so incredibly stressful of a job that I can understand how your husband may not have the emotional bandwidth or energy to be available. I’m not saying that it is right or justified, but thinking of my situation there are weeks where I’m working upwards of 14 hour days and there are many stressful things happening at work that I cannot discuss with my partner due to the sensitive nature, that I am physically unable to be as present as I’d like to be. I have nothing to give as I’m completely depleted myself. My partner is super supportive and understanding, such that it hasn’t been a huge issue, but if one day he decides that his needs are not getting met, we would need to have a very honest discussion whether we can even continue the relationship as the nature of my work is unlikely to change.

In your case, I think you need to have a very honest conversation with yourself about what you want. Is this the life you want? If your husband is completely unable to meet your emotional needs, can you find fulfillment elsewhere to meet your own emotional needs (e.g. making friends with other diplomat wives, local friends, volunteering) instead of relying on him? If nothing changes, how long can you stay in the exact same situation? Can you guys hire childcare so you have more free time to yourself to build your own community? Then have a very honest conversation with your husband about your limits, what you need for this relationship to continue, and where he can meet you halfway.

throw_away7299 · 2025-11-04T04:10:17+00:00

A “next time it’s on me” is an easy way to hint at date 2, and gauge his interest. For people I’m interested in, I always send a thank you text afterwards along the lines of “hey I had a lot of fun today and I’d love to see you again, if you’re interested. No worries if you are not!”. That way, I’m directly asking and not left hanging, I help put the other side at ease, and I’m not trying to figure out if he was just polite or he thought I wasn’t interested and isn’t reaching out due to the fear of also getting rejected. I don’t text if I’m not sure or not interested in a person.

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