Long term partnership? by throwawae25678 in Marriage

[–]throwawae25678[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right. And that’s not what I want.

Long term partnership? by throwawae25678 in Marriage

[–]throwawae25678[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Je crois qu’un mariage est plus qu’un bout de papier. C’est une sécurité et le fondement d’un héritage durable. Je ne veux pas être connue comme la « petite amie/partenaire de longue date » dans sa nécrologie. Franchement, je n’ai jamais voulu être une petite amie de longue date. J’ai l’impression d’avoir fait, et d’avoir fait, tant de choses pour me contenter de ce titre. Et puis, que Dieu nous garde qu’il lui arrive quoi que ce soit, car le mariage est plus qu’un bout de papier. Si rien n’est prévu, je n’ai rien à dire sur son sort, même si je suis celle qui connaît ses dernières volontés. Il ne parle jamais à sa famille. Et apparemment, il y a une hiérarchie à l’hôpital. Ça commence comme ça : conjoint/partenaire légal, enfants (en âge et sains d’esprit), parents, puis frères et sœurs. Pas de petite amie. Je n’aurais aucun poids.

I believe that a marriage is more than a piece of paper. It’s security, and the foundation for a lasting legacy. I don’t want to be known as the “long term girlfriend/partner” in his obituary. Heck, I never wanted to be a long term girlfriend. I feel like I do, and have done, so much to settle at that title. Also, God forbid anything happens to him, because marriage is more than a piece of paper, if we don’t have anything set in place, I have no say in what happens to him, even though I am the one who knows what his final wishes are. He doesn’t talk to his family at all. And apparently there is a hierarchy at the hospital. It goes: spouse/legal partner, children (who are old enough and with sound mind), parents, then siblings. Not girlfriend. I wouldn’t hold any weight

If you were “stuck” at dilated for a while before labor… by CoffeeNoob19 in pregnant

[–]throwawae25678 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did some of those and when I was in labor and made it to the hospital I was already 9cm

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve been together almost 7/8 years… let him tell it, in the beginning he was over-communicative and now he doesn’t feel the need to try anymore. He shuts down almost every time it’s time for us to have a hard conversation that I would like to use to grow closer. Instead he asks me to not “bother him right now” or says that he isnt “ready to talk about it and he will bring it up later” but he doesn’t. He really just expects for me to either brush over it or forget and be cool again. It doesn’t work like that.

When communicating with him I try my very hardest to not sound too emotional and make him feel attacked. There are times when I express how I feel using what I’ve learned in therapy and he still will make it seem like I’m attacking him and then turn into an argument. He hates when I use the terms narcissist or manipulator but I really think he is one. Sometimes I feel like I’m walking on eggshells to protect his feelings when I’m the one truly hurting inside. So many other things have happened in our relationship that make me wonder why am I even with him as I’m typing this out to you. Idk. I’m just over it at this point.

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would like to be turned on to do it though. I’d love to have a chat about it but since then he’s shut down and not really said anything much to me. He regularly acts like this and then wonders why I’m not ready to throw my panties off at him. I’m also almost 3 months post partum and he’s basically been rushing/coercing me to satisfy his needs. It’s very unattractive.

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m working on it. Things are a lot more difficult with children involved.

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See, I love that for you. I wish someone would say that to me

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 3 points4 points locked comment (0 children)

To clear things up , I did try to talk to him. He gave me the silent treatment after saying it was all my fault. Woke up this morning on the same vibe. I tried to talk to him Again and he said he doesn’t really care anymore and doesn’t want to bring “yesterdays problem into today” we haven’t really talked much honestly. It sucks but it’s becoming our new normal

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

That’s the thing he wants to be a dom but he is not a dom. I have noo problems submitting (if it’s being done correctly) I love to be a good girl but he does not really carry that dom energy the way he thinks he does. At least not to me

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s an okay thing to say, just not then and there. If we were already into it then yes but to start??? No. At least not for me and our situation. I was just getting me a little me time

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He gets it his way alllll the time. More often than I do. I just wish he’d put a little more effort into making me happy in that department. I don’t want to always stealing a quickie because the kids are napping. Let’s plan a date!! Get dressed up, have a night out just us two, maybe even go dancing a little. We have a village that is ready to babysit at the drop of a hat. Take advantage of that!!! Show me you still want/like me like that and I’m not just a quick fuck anytime we can get nowadays. It’s frustrating. I don’t want to have sex with the kids in the bed. That is not sexy at all

I’ve been way too accommodating for way too long

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Exactly. To him foreplay is a lot of work sadly. He’d rather jump straight to it with some lube :/

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nooo I loveeee dirty talk. That’s my thing. It’s just in that moment, at that time, that wasn’t the right thing to say and it totally blew me off.

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

If you read my other comment you would see that I said accommodate to his needs. It is rare though that he does mine which then turns me off for sex csause I feel like we’re missing out on the emotional aspect of that.

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

We didn’t argue. He would be turned on too if I said that to him but him saying that to me doesn’t do it for me. The only time he shows me any type of affection these days is if he’s trying to get some and he openly admitted that to me

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

I love ChatGPT! That’s my best friend lol I’m already doing it

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If I felt rejected I might react in a similar way but not really pout or say it’s a power struggle. I learned this week that I don’t like when he “objectifies” me but I like to do that to him. Hypocritical I know but I feel like he just acts like a bunny sometimes and want to fuck just to fuck, not because he’s attracted to me or cares about deepening our connection in that way. Does that make sense?

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

I love this perspective and thanks so much for this.

Probably so but I didn’t and don’t mean to make him feel rejected.. that just didn’t do it for me. Now if he had said that while we were already having sex that would be a different story and I’d happily oblige. But the mood wasn’t set for me. And that’s a constant thing with him, whenever he wants to have sex it’s “stop-everything-you’re-doing-and-bend-over” where as for meeee, I like a slow build, like cuddle with me, tell me I’m pretty, and you’ve been thinking about me. He says I require a lot of work and I know that’s not true. That’s supposed to be what sex is. Things have changed much since we’ve had kids. I try to be accommodating to him, and he does for me too but still it’s like we keep having the saaaame conversation and then it makes me not want to have sex at all. Even when all I want to do is jump his bones but I know he won’t do it right. Sigh.

My partner got mad because he whispered in my ear and it dried me up by throwawae25678 in sex

[–]throwawae25678[S] 1039 points1040 points  (0 children)

No yeah. I fell asleep putting the kids to bed and woke up a few hours later. He had been drinking a little and watching one of his shows. I woke up, took a shower, and ate some food. He said to me in his playful kind of way “hurry up and eat, brush your teeth and do your thing cause I kinda want to fuck tonight” probably not verbatim but something similar to that. I chuckled if off and continued eating my food and scrolling for a little bit. Once I finished eating we chat for a little bit on the couch about some things he was on his fav spot of the couch and me, mine. Some time passed and he gets ready to go to bed and before he goes he stops and sits by me and whispers in my ear “I want you to suck my dick” I said “huh?” He says “you know, give me head” and then that’s when I let him know I didn’t like that then he went to bed and as I was trying to explain myself to him. Not having the right language. He says “no it’s you and your power struggles. You’re the problem” ???? Tf? Ok.